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So ... um, did ya miss me?

ok, Probably not.

Iwhyawli's been away for a long, long time. Almost forgot my password again. I've recieved a few emails (presumably from GWOPPERS) asking me to weigh in on expelgate, but I realized yeah, I have nothing to weigh in on.

Wait. Okay. I will weigh in.

Hey GWOPPERS, I offer you two options:

Option A: send me copies of your kids' report cards and I'll weigh in on those


Option B: mind your own business.

I don't know much about expelgate except the GWOPPERS seem to think Kate is lieing about it. There's an opposing story from one of those anonymous insiders who not only knows the TRUTH but also (and not coincidentally) apparently breeds a whole lot of hatred. If I'm not mistaken, one of the little hate puppies might even be named Lil Cousin Benny.

Now y'all know that I don't have a single second of experience in school adminstration, but I am exceptionally talented in the common sense area. And I feel pretty confident that no private school is going to "expel" two kids when the parents might also opt to yank the other 6 tuitions. People willing to pay private tuition for even 1 kid is just too hard to come by these days.

So that's all I have to say about that. I'm feeling much more inclined to weigh in on the creepy WikiLeaks guy, who surely must be a GWOPPER given his love for sharing the TRUTH. I just finished reading his internet dating advertisement from 2006. BWAHAAHAAHAAHAAA !!! Too funny. If that ad didn't exactly personify the losers/serialkillers who have to find their "girlfriends" on the internet, I don't what does. When he wrote "Don't write me if your timid. Only write me if your brave." I feel certain he meant "Only write me if you're strong enough to defend yourself should I suddenly wig out and decide to cut your body up into small parts and stuff them into my mother's prized collection of felted purses."

I'm sure you'll tell me I'm wrong but I thank g_d everyday that I grew up, dated and married before this whole Internet dating thing caught on. It just seems so much easier (and safer) to leave your house every once and a while and meet people face-to-face.

Does Jennifer Grey Have a Bad Neck?

I'm not sure. She's only mentioned it 945,000 times since the last commercial break.
I'd be voting for Bristol Palin right now but is having some sort of login difficulty right Quelle surprise.

Other random thoughts:

1. Far be it from me to judge any person or any lifestyle, so I won't. But for a group of sister wives who insist their lifestyle choices make them happy and better people, they sure spend a whole lot of time crying, whining, being angry, feeling lonely, feeling confused, feeling jealous, feeling sorry for themselves, second-guessing themselves, feeling gypped, sizing themselves up, fending for their due, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. Ay-yi-yi.

Now me, I don't have any sister wives. But I also don't feel any of what they're feeling on a routine basis.

2. Skating with the Stars? Ugh. Is anyone in Hollywood familiar with the phrase "beating a dead horse?" Excuse me whilst I rush over to my copyright attorney with a few fresh ideas:

Roller skating with the Stars
Synchronized Swmming with the Stars
Tumbling Runs with the Stars
Cheerleading with the Stars
Shriner Cars with the Stars
Wii Fitness with the Stars

This show is so painful I can't believe they won't yank it off the air in three weeks.

Advice for Brandy

Yeah, I know I know. This isn't the 'DWTS without Pity' blog but I can't but help chuckle at all the worldwide outrage over poor Brandy's elimination last night.

That damn show (which I officially hate) plays people (including me) like a violin.

Don't get me wrong. I couldn''t care less that Brandy was booted from the show. I couldn't care less if Bristol Palin wins (or loses).

As soon as I heard that Bristol Palin would be on the show, I absolutely knew without question that DWTS would find a way to embroil her in some sort of nasty controversy (because they don't like her mother's politics). Afterall, Bristol is not a celebrity or public figure, or even trying to be a public figure. Not that most of the so-called stars (cough) are famous, but Bristol isn't even a reality TV person. Hell, GWOP's much beloved Jodi Krieder has been on more TV shows than Bristol Palin. Why sign Bristol before Jodi? DWTS wanted to stir the shit, that's why. The GWOPPERS are also outraged, aren't they?

Silly me. I just thought the show's attempt to slice and dice Bristol (or her mother) would surface far earlier in the season, far more overtly and obviously --- something akin to a completely disgusted Bruno giving her 2's every week and taking potshots at her mother whilst choking on his own vomit.

But to the show's credit, they were far more clever. See, they instead chose to create the appearance of cheating. Extra kudos to them for injecting race into the controversy by pitting Bristol against an African American woman.

I don't believe for a second that there was any cheating on anyone's part -- by DWTS, the Palin family , the Wasilla Middle School, the Tea Party or even Communist China. You heard me. I don't doubt for a second that Bristol got more votes than Brandy. I'll also bet money that Bristol got more votes than Kyle whathisname. I might even wager a wee bet that Bristol got more votes than Jennifer "Please Feel very Sorry for Me because my boyfriend and I one took two peoople out whilst goofing around in Ireland" Grey. Bristol been at the bottom of the judge's score board week after week. Let there be no doubt that (for whatever reason) Bristol Palin has been pulling the votes in -- lots of them. Don't look at me. I haven't voted since the Kate Gosselin season.

And how does iwhyawli know this is all a very carefully crafted controversy? Because if you rewatch the episode in the moments just before Brandy is eliminated, you'll hear that sap Brook whatshername say casually but not so casually: "while not necessarily in the bottom two, one of these two stars will be going home tonight."



If the two remaining heads on the chopping block weren't *necessarily* in the bottom two, why then choose to pit Bristol Palin against Brandy? Why not pit Brandy (who we now know did have the fewest votes) against Jennifer Grey or against Kyle whatshisface?

Hey I got an idea? Why not pit the two "stars" who actually ARE in the bottom two against each other? [horshack]Oh oh Mr. Kotter, I know why not![horshack]. Because the show wanted to stir the shit ... all at the expense of some poor girl who happens to have a mother that the liberal left (and most in Hollywood) doesn't like.

The only thing about this farce that I don't get yet is why Brook whatsherface would even announce "while not necessarily in the bottom two" in the first place. Why not just leave that whole part out and let us believe that both Bristol and Brandy were in the final two (even if they weren't)? Perhaps the show is somehow legally required to announce it when the bottom two aren't actually in the bottom two. But anyway, the very second I heard "while not necessarily in the bottom two" I knew Brandy was going home. Meanwhile, the rest of the country more conveniently concludes that voting is fixed and the dopes in Wisconsin are shooting guns at their TV screens.

And then there's poor Brandy. Another victim. 'I am numb' she says. She cannot understand any of it.

Fortunately, it's my nature to be helpful to the clueless. I offer Brandy the following advice.

  1. Your ability to master a new skill (ie., dance, sing/tell jokes, bake cakes) has little to do with your success on shows that rely on viewers/fans voting for you.
  2. Make sure your last hit song (cough) was some time after 1998, unless you're one of the two surviving Beatles.
  3. Get yourself a last name. I tried to google 'Brandy' last night so that I could figure out who you were and um, yeah.... according to google, you've not yet reached the iconic status of a 'Cher', 'Prince' or 'Sting'.
  4. Insist on a partner who isn't Max Chmerloskywitz. If it isn't obvious by now, Max could be partnered with Cyd Charisse and still lose. He's a poor sport with a self-absorbed pukey personality who thinks he's hot but actually looks like a pastier version of the Pillsbury doughboy when standing next to someone like Chad Ochocinco. Max's only redeeming quality is that he loathes Carrie Ann "You truly moved me" Innaba.

Hope that helps, Brandy. Good luck to you. I think you're a fine dancer and a very pretty girl. Perhaps someday I'll get to hear you sing.

Who the Heck is Eric Roberts?

Never heard of him.

Be right back. I'm going to google him.




Oh. I get it. He is a former soap opera star/drug addict/wife abuser. And one of those Celebrity (cough) Rehab substance abuse opportunists to boot. So yeah, I totally understand why I'd be 100% interested in everything he has to say, including the judgments he passes on others who he perceives to be less perfect than him. Teach me, Eric. Teach me. After the tragic passing of Brittany Murphy's husband, Simon whatshisname, I've been lost at sea.

So yeah, Eric Roberts is officially my new mentor, and I am nothing if not a good student. I bet it wouldn't bother Eric in the least if I were to volunteer on these here internets that his sister, Julia, is a complete dimwit -- [cough]Lyle Lovett fiasco [cough] --- and worse, a hack actress as recently re-confirmed in the yawnfest titled "Eat, Pray, Love." For a long while there, I stopped going to movies because I simply could NOT understand why, in a country of 6+ gazillion women, all the leading lady roles were being given to Julia Roberts.

Nothing personal, Julia, but you can't act. You look, you talk, you laugh, you mope, you walk, you weep, you smile EXACTLY THE SAME WAY IN EVERY MOVIE THAT YOU'VE EVER BEEN IN. So please, go find Dustin Hoffman, Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, Meryl Streep, Helen Mirren, Amy Adams or even Cher for crapsake, introduce yourself and beg for an acting lesson.

It's probably not fair to crap all over Julia Roberts like this. I'd really rather crap all over Eric Roberts but other than drug addict/domestic violence kudos, there's not much there to comment on.

My feelings for Eric Roberts are perhaps best expressed in song.

"Dancing through Life"

[taps mike ]

Testing. 1-2. Testing.

[spritzes throat]

Dancing through life
Skimming the surface
Gliding where turf is smooth
Life's more painless
For the brainless
Why think too hard?
When it's so soothing

Dancing through life
No need to tough it
When you can sluff it off as I do
Nothing matters
But knowing nothing matters
It's just life
So keep dancing through

Dancing through life
Swaying and sweeping
And always keeping cool
Life is fraught-less
When you're thoughtless
Those who don't try
Never look foolish
Dancing through life
Mindless and careless
Make sure you're where less
Trouble is rife
Woes are fleeting
Blows are glancing
When you're dancing
Through life

Do Jodi and Julie have any regrets?

Sometimes when I have absolutely nothing at all to do--i.e, the kids are fed, the house is clean, the car has gas, my brows are plucked and I've applied all the finishing touches to the orchestral symphony that I'm composing in B flat-- I think about Jodi and her as-lovely sister, Julie. And I wonder if they've any regrets about their behavior, even the teeniest regret.

Methinks not. Because we haven't seen any sort of apology.

Not that they owe ME an apology, of course. No way. Quite the opposite. Being able to mock and make fun of them these past many months has provided me hundreds and thousands of hours of enjoyment. It's ME who owes THEM one giant thank-you.

I do think, however, that they owe Kate, Jon and their children an apology and perhaps an apology has been offered privately. But I doubt it. Psychopathic personalities like theirs are incapable of offering an apology. The best they can do in way of an apology or admission or guilt is to simply stop doing what they're doing .... for awhile... until they start hearing the voices again. If I were a betting woman, I'd bet Kate wasn't their first victim and won't be their last. Those two birdbrains have been avenging their fragile psyches for decades.

Because their behavior was public, their apology should be public, in my opinion. Whoosh, imagine the big money a public apology could bring! Maybe even enough to pay Gloria Allred's fees!

Hiring the farce known as Gloria Allred just may have been my most favorite ridiculous thing that those two bozo's did. It would have been my favorite most ridiculous thing even if days later Gloria hadn't elected to represent all of the hookers who were so egregiously wronged by [fill-in name of wealthy celebrity] . It's pretty tough to top the creation and sale of a tabloid video during which you whisper that your sister-in-law is a cheater. I dare say that hiring Gloria Allred may have been the only way to do that.

Sometimes when I have absolutely nothing at all to do, I also wonder if those three (ie., Jodi, Kevin and Julie) are capable of anything even more ridiculous than hiring Gloria Allred to represent the legitimacy of their motives. We'll just have to wait and see I guess. It may be mere seconds, weeks or years, but I am relatively confident that we have not heard the last of those three idiots.

Holy Crap! Kudos to the Imperfect Women

If we can believe today's story at radaronline, mucho kudos are due to the imperfect women (who really aren't that imperfect) at the Imperfect Women blog for recently drawing out Kate's mom in defense of Kate. I'm pretty certain it was that gals at Imperfect Women blog who also blew the lid off the whole pennmommy farce.

Get this everyone --- Kate's mom says Jodi, Kevin (her son) and Julie aren't very nice people.

Who knew? (snicker).

Of course, kudos also to Julie and Jodi for the smackdown Kate's mom just gave her son. It takes special, special people to intentionally drive a wedge between mother and son. Here's hoping little Benny's future wife doesn't do the same to you, Jodester. He's learned from the masters. But then, you can always hope he's every bit the idiot that you are and therefore, hasn't learned a thing.

Karma is a bish. Ha ha ha ha ha ha

I stand corrected re Bruno Tonioli

First of all, I guess Bruno's actual fake show-biz name is Bruno Tonioli and not Bruno Taglioni as written in this week's earlier posting. You see, iwhyalwi received an email from someone who was quite upset about me getting his actual fake show-biz name wrong so I hope this post does everything possible to rectify that egregious wrong. When I drafted last week's post, I didn't feel like looking up Bruno's fake show-biz name and I sorta wanted to convey my contempt for the pissant by writing his fake show-biz name as Bruno Ravioli or even Bruno Spaghettio. After pondering this weighty editorial decision for say 7.5 seconds, I decided the GWOPPERS would miss the subtley and use it to get all giddy about not knowing what Bruno's fake stage name actually is. Despite my best effort to get Bruno's fake stage name somewhat right, they got all giddy about the error anyway. Sigh.

Another GWOPPER (or more likely the same GWOPPER) also told me in a separate e-mail message that Bruno could not possibly be "the male, gay version of a GWOPPER". This is because it is Kate Gosselin who danced the worst jive in 11 seasons of DTWS and Michael Bolton's interpretation of the jive in no way shape or form sucked as much as Kate Gosselin did. Further, no one in the history of the universe has or will suck as badly on DWTS as Kate Gosselin did.

After re-thinking my original position for approximately 6 more nanoseconds, I find that I concur with the GWOPPER and wish to correct myself. Bruno Tonioli is not the male, gay version of a GWOPPER.

Rather, Bruno "I-was-a-complete-unknown-until-I-elected-to-become-the-Adolph Hitler of celebrity-ballroom-dancing-shows" Tonioli is just an all-around self-loathing, miserable cur who probably hates anyone who dares steals three steps in lieu of the statutory two. I say this and I couldn't name a Michael Bolton song if my life depended on it.

Conversely, GWOPPERS are self-loathing, miserable curs who only hate Kate Gosselin.

With respect to Tonioligate, I now only remain unsure of one thing: Who is crazier? Bruno Tonioli or the GWOPPERS.

Hmmm. Hard to say, really.

Does anyone know why Bruno Taglioni is such a miserable cur?

My faith in the humanity of man is at an all time low these days and so to keep it from hitting absolute rock bottom, I've deliberately not dropped in over there at GWOP lately. I'll instead blog a few blurbs about DWTS and Bruno Taglioni.

Bruno Taglioni is the male gay version of a GWOPPER -- self-loathing and miserable -- so I'm not at all off-topic.

I haven't yet watched the live episodes of DWTS this season, but I did happen to catch a replay of Michael Bolton's jive dance followed by Bruno's oh so gracious assessment. My reaction was a very droll "oh brother, will you please lighten the fuck up?".

And then I saw the replay of the DWTS Results Show where Tom Bergeron ribs Bruno for being a miserable, self-loathing jackass with zero self-awareness that he completely sucks all the fun out of the show.

Proving once again that he has no sense of humor, Bruno just shrugs and threatens "Hey, Fox awaits."

Promises Promises.

Dear Bruno:

I beg you. Go to Fox. Go anywhere. Just get the fuck off this show. I'm sick of watching the faces of little kids drop (specifically, my kids) while you sit there and belittle people for trying something new. DWTS is a TV Show, you moron. And it's supposed to be a feel good TV show. The last thing I want to see on my TV is a picklepuss, 70-pound gay man who wears a giant-sized pinkie ring yelling at anyone for anything, leave alone something as unimportant as a ballroom dance.

To your credit, Bruno, you've yet to slice into Bristol Palin although you are making it quite clear that you eventually do plan to get your digs in at her mother.

Guess What?

Here's what. Iwhyawli couldn't give two hoots if Kate Gosselin has had a boob job. Because, friends, I'm the original Lady Gaga\Bjork\Madonna\Cher\Bette Midler\all the female shock-value performers in between Bette Middler and Gypsie Rose Lee\Gypsie Rose Lee\Eve --- i.e., I am the most non-judgmental person on the planet.

Here's also what. If Kate Gosselin has had a boob job, I don't understand why it seems to be such a shock to the GWOPPERS. Afterall, she wears a half pound of acrylic on her fingertips and someone else's (real or manufactured) hair on her head.

One more what. I don't get why anyone who had a boob job would lie about having a boob job, especially if you wear a half-pound of acrylic on your fingertips and someone else's (real or manufactured) hair on your head. Not that I think Kate is lieing because um, I don't care enough, if at all. But, I also don't get why anyone would answer anything except "none of your business" when asked if they had a boob job. Perhaps most perplexing of all, I don't understand why anyone asks a person if someone had a boob job, or even wonders if someone had a boob job. GWOPPERS are wierd, man, just plain wierd.

Last but not least. I don't understand why Lindsay Lohan asked someone to shoot collagen into her lips. It looks friggin' horrible. Such a potentially pretty young girl whose drinking and substance abuse made her look like a 40-year-old before the lip job, now looks like a 50-year-old.

I've yet to see a good collegen lip job, have you?

The World rights itself

So Kate took the kids fishing and they all got seasick. The GWOPPERS rejoice. They'll be bitching about this until I'm 95 (i.e., a long, long time).

Remembering Jon: The Bald Head Episode

If your kids are like my kids, they watch the Gosselins Show and then promptly wonder aloud for the next 10,000 hours why they never get to go to [fill-in-the-blank]. Of course, it's because we don't love them as much as Kate loves her kids but we instead choose to make stuff up. This time we told them that our family dog is very, very sick and about to die and yes, it's very very important that she is surrounded by family, tidy bedrooms and no fighting. When that doesn't work, I then remind them that WE JUST SPENT THE ENTIRE FRIGGING SUMMER AT A BEACH JUST LIKE BALD HEAD DOWN TO THE FAKE PIRATE SHIP AND DILAPITATED LIGHT HOUSE.

I enjoyed the Bald Head episode, especially the turtle births. Not sure if that was a re-run or new episode. All the trips blur together after a while. In a few minutes, I'll head over to GWOP to find out all that I should be hopping mad about. There was something said about naps and so I'm sure that set the GWOPPERS on fire. Oh, that reminds me. During last week's NYC episode, I forgot to mention how I chuckled when I saw Kate putting bibs on the kids when giving their icecream cones. We haven't had a good gwopper-style bib tirade in months!

Now that school has started for the kids (Kate and mine), I wonder if TLC could find it in their hearts to show how much the Gosselin kids LOVE doing stuff ... like ... their homework, taking baths, brushing their teeth or shovelling the dog crap.

I almost can hear it now. "Mommy, how come we never get to shovel the dog crap?"

So um...

... which GWOPPER is currently holding hostages at Discovery Communications?

Gee, I can't for the life of me understand why Jon, Kate and the kids would need bodyguards*.
:: scratches head in confusion ::

Let's hope this situation ends quickly without injuries. I otherwise blame the GWOPPERS for spurring this guy on. Oh who am I kidding, I blame the GWOPPERS no matter what happens.

Kate is Trying Too Hard

Okay. I'm about to make a whole lot of GWOPPERS very happy. Here it goes.

I, iwhyawli, did not like last night's Season Premiere epsiode of Kate Plus Eight, which I am now re-watching so I can try to pinpoint what it was that bugged me so.

It wasn't the kids. All the kids are still super cute. They're definitely not the problem.

The problem is Kate. She's trying too hard.

Let's see if I can explain this better. There were definitely moments during the show where Kate is just being a mom and we are watching Kate just being a mom. Those parts are okay.

But then, there were other very obvious moments where Kate is putting on a show for the camera, and those were the moments that bugged me. Two examples: Running down the street with the icecream cones and (I can barely stand to type it out) the whole incredibly stoopid "Turtle Turds and Ostrich Boogie" schtick that went on endlessly. Oh that wacky Kate! What will she do next? Drive the Statue of Liberty ferry boat ? You betcha.

Did Kate just say she's not a very good "Boat Driver Ferry Person?" Oh, how cute. yuk yuk yuk

And now, I'm about to make a whole lot of GWOPPERS very unhappy.

The Kate that I so disliked on last night's episode ? Reminded me of the GWOPPERS and their eternal mommy quest to turn every waking moment an all-about-me, ootsey-cutesy Hallmark moment.

Kate's hand gesturing with the fake acrylic nails also bug me. I feel like I'm watching some sort of SNL Barbara Stresand parody from the late 80's. I also have no real need to see multiple side shots of saggy boob cleavage.

Okee dookee., iwhyawli is done complaining and I gotta run, y'all. "So let's turn around and say good-bye to the statue, everybody. She'll just get smaller and smaller now. Say Thank you, everyone, thank you for being the symbol of our freedom, Lady Liberty. "


Emmy Awards 2010

Unlike Kate, I was not invited to be ON the 2010 Emmy Awards. Understandably so since (to my knowledge) I do not star in a TV show.

Despite my longstanding ardent support of Kate Gosselin in the glogosphere, I was also not invited to GO to the 2010 Emmy Awards as anyone's (cough) guest. Understandably so since Kate Gosselin has no idea who I am.

I also was not invited to an Emmy Awards watching party that is hosted annually by my next door neighbor. Understandably so since I've never yet accepted her kind invitation in five years running.

People, I did not even WATCH the 2010 Emmy Awards last night.

I did, however, once have a childhood friend named Emily, who we all called Emmy. And because Emmy's father was in advertising, she once got to be on a Keds commercial .

Why I am telling you this? Only to emphasize that my childhood friendship with Emmy puts me two hundred billion gazillion times closer to walking the red carpet at the Emmy Awards than Jodi or Julie will ever be.

Sucks to be you, Jodi, doesn't it????? HA HA HA HA HA

Another Bummer for Aunt Jodi

Well, what a pisser, it looks like Aunt Jodi will miss the cut at DWTS YET AGAIN. How in the world does this keep happening? Say, I know, maybe it's time for Jodes to rejoin the cast at The Today Show and call someone else out as a dirty whore. I've never known another with such good diction whilst whispering. That skill alone should win Jodi a spot on DWTS plus a night with Brad Pitt.

And for those of you who, like me, thought Queen Bruno and Carrie Lighthead were complete pricks to Kate throughout DWTS, I bet you can't wait to see how badly they'll make Bristol Palin feel about herself because they don't like her mother and her mother's politics. Yeah, they won't be able to help themselves.

Sorry, I'm not sure I can watch DWTS this season. The instant I hear the name David Hasselhoff, I flashback to his daughter's video where he's half-sitting/half-laying on the floor trying to eat a hamburger whilst completely shit-faced. Google it. It's creepy.


So I finally saw the chicken coop episode the other day and all I have to say is this: If Kate Gosselin can get those kids to clean out the chicken poop thing on any sort of regular basis, I will absolutely need to know the secret to her success. We don't have chickens but we do (or did) have cats, dogs, a turtle (RIP), goldfish (RIP) and a hamster (RIP). No birds allowed in this house.

Kate is no longer relevant?

Well it didn't take me long to find something inane over 'dere in GWOPland. It's right there on the main page posted by Mrs Bozo herself.

When people other than us start blogging that Kate is not longer relevant is it time to think about getting out the marshmallows and toasting forks?

Is Kate's career over?


Okay, I'll graciously overlook the glaring typo in between the words "is" and "longer" in Sharla's post, but since when have the GWOPPERS been blogging that Kate "is not longer relevant".


Thanks to all Jon wannabes like Tiger Woods, Jesse James and Mel Gibson, the woman hasn't been in the news or on TV for months but somehow the GWOPPERS still manage to dig up stuff like copies of all three fence estimates !

Mind you, I have no idea what Sharla even means by Kate "is no longer relevant" but then, I never really understand anything Sharla is babbling about. Relevant to what or who exactly? Kate's kids? Jodi and Julie? The mighty icon of quality journalism that is Radaronline ? Beats me what Sharla means by "is no longer relevant". But nonetheless, I do know the answer to Sharla's question.


If Kate weren't still relevant, it would mean that .... wait for it ... get ready.... take a deep breath....

... it would mean that SHARLA WASN'T RELEVANT! GASP! Because honies, that's all y'all do all day over there at GWOP. Bitch and moan about Kate!

So yeah, I realize 'relevance" is a big concept for you, Shar, but um here's how relevance works. If the object of your contempt is no longer relevant, then your contempt is no longer relevant. And so when you continue to blather on and on and on about things that are no longer relevant or dare we even say, TRUE, well, hon, people conclude that you are a total nutcase.

Shar, you're a nutcase.

What's News

I'm back y'all.... just in time for the season premiere. Whew! I would have been back sooner but I forgot my password. But to my good fortune on the train tonight, I happened to catch site of this giant-size woman with big clownlike red hair, a beard and long yellow toenails and I remembered that my password is Sharla.

Hope you had great summers. I'm off to GWOP to catch up. I can't possibly imagine what they're whining about these days. To my knowledge, Kate et al haven't been on the air or in the news in ages.

CityGirl is a Fatso

Hope y'all didn't miss this post. GWOP's resident expert on running weighs in.

Yes, nothing screams "Hey! I'm a Fatso" than a post like this:

CityGirl said...

With all the recent pictures of Kate "Running" I am kind of thinking that since everything she does is to benefit her in some way($$) . Could she possibly be trying to come out with an exercise video? She has been carrying on with the running crap forever, but as hot as the weather has been, it would make more sense for kate to "Run" on the treadmill in the basement. Where the aircondition is. Yes, I know how much Kate loves to have her picture taken. But I just don't think she would cause herself to break a sweat for nothing. There has got to be another idea for more money somewhere in these rediculous* pictures. I'm betting on the Video and OR.....

P.S. Did anyone else hear that Joy is leaving the View for a full time slot on HLN? Gosh, I like the view and hope that they don't ask Kate to come on there. It seems they don't know what to do with her. Maybe that's why there is a limited # of episodes of K+8. Maybe there is something in the works. Hope everyone had a happy 4th!

7/05/2010 11:50 PM

Thanks CityGirl! I hope you had a very happy 4th too --- sitting on your ass, stuffing your pie hole and whatever other sedentary activities you fatties do on a holiday. We know it's not running.

* Ut oh! May GWOP's spelling police be merciful, CityGirl. Tsk tsk.

About time for a new post, eh?

Yeah, today is definitely "way too damned hot outside" and so I am able to pay proper attention to my beloved blog in the full comfort of my air conditioned home whilst the children play at a neighbor's house in the full comfort of their air-conditioned home. It's soooooo damned hot outside that I couldn't even fathom the idea of going into the dirty, grimy city. I'm working (wink, wink) from home.

So, um, what's new with the GWOPPERS? The comments in the previous thread indicate that my BFF Dana Hoffman has been outed as a journalist (cough) who is a tad more than your average, everyday objective journalist. As I understand it, some very helpful person had discovered (and seemingly proven) that Dana likes to post her nastiest anti-Gosselin stuff at some anti-Gosselin blog using a pseudonym.

Gee, I do believe I hear a big old chicken clucking. Is it Dana?

Of course, you may recall my earlier speculation that Dana ---even writing as boring Dana in the Reading newspaper or wherever she submitted her soggy, yellow news stories (cough) --- had more skin in the anti-Gosselin movement than your average, everyday whacko. I mean a normal person just doesn't get upset when a family of 8 buys a 10 person passenger van. So, I am pleased to see now that yes, there is far more to Dana Hoffman's hatred of the Gosselin clan (or Kate) than meets the eye. You'll also recall that I also speculated that Dana Hoffman behaves JUST like one of Jon's spurned lovers.


I wonder why Dana Hoffman hates the Gosselins so much?


I'm crying UNCLE

Attention! Attention! Paging all PennMommy Historians. I'm supposed to be looking through the comments here for that link to the topix thread where OhioMom so helpfully re-posted all those posts by William Haas. But hell, with the hundreds and thousands of comments that are published here, finding that comment could take absolutely forever. That, and Blogger's search functionality BLOWS GOATS!

When did PennMommy's imaginary son die? Was it Jul 18, 2009?

RIP: Meredith Viera

So yeah, I remembered what it was that I wanted to write before I got distracted by the extra delicious ridiculousness that is GWOP's emergency blog.

Did I hear that right last night, y'all?

Meredith Viera told the GWOPPERS to GET A LIFE ?

Oh no, Meredith, Meredith, Meredith.

I hardly knew ya.

Is This Thing Working Yet?

Well gee, Blogger was broke earlier today and now I done forgot all the important stuff I wanted to post about last night's 'Kate Plus 8' and 'Inside Kate's Life" (or whatever that second show was called ).

But more importantly, how are the poor GWOPPERS coping ? First the BP Oil Spill and now blogger craps out and the GWOPPERS can't get to their beloved blog. HOW MUCH COLLOSSAL TRAGEDY CAN HUMANITY WITHSTAND?

Oh wait. I forgot. GWOP has an emergency blog for these exact types of emergencies. Whew! I may be wrong but I believe the emergency blog is (no "s"). It's the same blogging lifeboat that everyone boarded after Sharla brought down GWOP for three days when she deleted a billion incriminating posts PLUS one of the GWOP administrators who went rogue after the whole PENNYMOMMY fiasco. Eventually, the emergency blog went all secret on everyone and I think only the coolest of the cool GWOPPERS had the password*. So yeah, hopefully, HOPEFULLY Sharla was able to hide all the private discussions on the emergency blog in time to re-open it for emergency use before any of the most panicked GWOPPER addicts offed themselves in desperation.

Ay yi-yi. An emergency blog? Cause finding something else to do for a few hours is out of the question? ::eye rolls::

* GWOP's emergency secret blog should not be confused with the Super Secret Blog that Rabid Clay Aiken fan/Kate Gosselin hater xsandlapper runs. See, if you're Sharla, you can never post on enough blogs, especially secret ones.

I am a pathetic Gosselin blogger

So, um, I was messing around over there in the archives, looking for all those funny movies y'all once created. Remember those? They were FUNNY!

See, I'm fixin' to make another sidebar thing that include a list of those movie links. And whilst I was poking around to find the movies, I realized:

"Hey, this blog is probably coming up on its one year anniversary! I could do the movie link sidebar thing in celebration of gwopwop's one year anniversary! Because that's what real bloggers do: they celebrate stuff like their blog's birthday. OMG OMG OMG ... I want to be a real blogger too!"

Buzzer sound. Guess what?

Iwhyawli totally missed gwopwop's birthday. It was May 3rd. Whoopsie!

Sharla NEVER misses a GWOP milestone!

While, yes, I may be the world's most pathetic Gosselin blogger, it gives me great comfort to know that I will never be like Sharla, no matter how hard I try.

Things Too Personal

So I headed over to GWOP to share in all the enthusiam for Kate's new show that surely must be building, but I got sidetracked by something that I've been meaning to understand/make fun of for a long, long time.

Every time Sharla posts one of her Open Discussion threads, she posts the same set of instructions --- or, as I like to call them: rules. Because the 21 rules appearing at the very start of the blog clearly aren't enough, we also have rules of conduct for each the Open Discussion threads.

Yes, Sharla, as we know, is a complete rule freak. Which isn't too suprising. If you've bothered to draft the Official Rules and Code of Conduct for something that comes naturally to most species (ie., motherhood), it makes sense that you would devise a dizzying set of rules to govern every other aspect of life.

Dare I say that Sharla might be the only person who is more controlling than Kate? And yet, friends, what is the one rule that Shara so conveniently ignores? That's right, that pesky little Golden Rule.

But I've made fun of Herr Sharla's obsession with rules plenty of times before. No need to repeat myself. Today, I'd like to focus on this bewildering GWOP bewilderment:

"Remember or try the Facebook Group for things that would be off topic or too personal on the blog."


I guess I need an example of something that is "too personal on the blog" that would not be "too personal on Facebook".

I admit that I'm no facebook wiz, but I do know that most facebook members (except for the GWOP moderators) sign up on facebook using their real names and that member profiles commonly disclose stuff like hometown, current city, school, employer, kid's names, etc. Facebookers will also post pictures of everything you can possibly imagine: their kids, their homes, their vacation plans, their new flat screen TVs, their obvious problems with alcohol, their body parts, their collections of severed body parts -- you name it.

Last but not least, let's not also forget all the idiotic status postings.

TMI, people!

I also know that if you don't take specific action to privatize all that personal content, you're feeding it to friends, friends of friends, advertisers and god knows who else, INCLUDING SHARLA.

So um, facebook ain't exactly private. And for anything TOO PERSONAL, it's actually less private than posting anything anonymously at GWOP. And so perhaps here layeth Sharla's true motivations. Does Sharla want you GWOPPERS to post all the valua ... err, personal stuff on Facebook and not GWOP so that, you know, she has a face, a name, mailing address, and if you wouldn't mind, a social security number to attach to it?

No worries, Sharla's intentions can only be good. Afterall, who can possibly forget how very kind, giving and fiercely protective Sharla was toward PENNMOMMY when her imaginary son fell ill and then died so tragically.

Breaking News! DWTS Cheats

So I'm trying to vote for Evan and I get this message: "Sorry, we couldn't find that page"
Don't believe me? Here are some pics.

Pic #1: Here's me trying to place my first vote of 32,403 votes for Evan. I click the word "VOTE" in that little pink box.

Pic #2: Denied!

Good thing, ABC doesn't do heart transplants. Because website problems (wink, wink) when you're a Reality TV Show who has just told 23 million to vote must be kinda like when the heart slips from the surgeon's hands and lands on the floor.

I would also like to comment that is next to possible to post pictures on blogger.

Wow, so defensive

Apparently Sharla has had ENOUGH with all the negative GWOP characterizations and has taken to creating a "Things We Are Called that We are Not" thread. GWOPPERS are invited to add to list.

In Item #5, Sharla writes that SHE is definitely not a child advocate and has never claimed to be one. Yeah. whatever. I noticed that it's gone now but for the first umpteen years of the blog's history, she hosted a a link to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. And the stupid What We Want section still says "We want child labor laws to recognize that children in reality shows deserve the same protection that children in scripted shows have."

Yeah, Sharla, we believe you. Just like we believed your "PennMommy is real." And just like we believe you had nothing to do with the Pig blog. I know you don't like hearing this, Sharla, but you and your pals ( Julie, Jodi and Serena (nhrn)) have a wee credibility issue.

I also especially loved Item #6. The GWOPPERS, or at least some of them apparently, are NOT bad mothers. Sharla writes, "Some of the us don't even have children. " So there. Take that, you sheeple!

Would it have been possible for Sharla to create a more stupid thread? Since when are you not what you are just because you say you're not? Has Annie Louise's poignant art history lecture on pointillism taught Sharla nothing? I thought we're all supposed to step back and connect the dots.

The trouble with threads titled "Things we are called that we are not" and then inviting people to build the list is the wonderful opportunity for omission. For example, if no one pipes up and says "Hey, we're not mortally stupid", I can only conclude that GWOPPERS must be mortally stupid.

So far, the list of what they are but are not isn't very long. But once they move past the word "shribbled" and officially decide whether they are or are not shribbled, I'm sure the posts will pick up.

Who will be the brave first GWOPPER to step forward to say "We're NOT judgmental."?

Because of all the things they are or aren't, that would be the only trait that matters.

Go Evan! Go Evan! Go Evan!

In case you are all wondering, iwhyawli plans to throw all 32,032 of her DWTS votes to Evan-the-Olympian. Yes, I know, I don't feel like looking up the spelling of Evan's last name and certain GWOPPERS can't seem to cope with my spelling errors\laziness.

My reasons for voting for Evan are really quite simple.

1. The Pussy Cat Doll woman is already a professional dancer and has no business participating as a contestant, despite her many teary assertions that 'this doesn't come easy' for her. If dancing, after the umpteen years of dance lessons that were so apparent in last week's up-close-and-personal home movies, still doesn't come easy, perhaps Nicole should contemplate another career. That, or shut up. We all understand her motivation for going on the show and it didn't have anything to do with wanting to learn how to dance and\or winning the much-coveted mirror ball trophy.

2. Max is a moron. Sure, he's cute enough in the face and certainly has a very nice body. But standing next to the well-chiseled, lean mean body mass that is Chad Ochocinco, Max Chmerlooskywitz looks like the fricking pillsbury doughboy. My main man Evan also has a far more sculpted body than Max so I'm not quite sure why Max seems to thinks he's the modern day David. Max is a male bimbo.

3. I don't like the stupid diamond earring that Max wears. Reminds me of Jon.

Good luck, Evan!

Couldn't Happen to a Nicer Guy

Well, well, well ... looks like one of my favorite passers of judgment and his Wife #2 are heading back to divorce court yet again. Third time's the charm, Matt. Hope you make it to this finish line this time. So many women, so little time, eh?

I guess what they say about karma is true.

If you've forgotten why I wish nothing but good things for Matt Lauer, read here.

Click here if you'd like to watch a giant jackass weigh in on someone else's life.

iwhyawli's Point CounterPoint on Pointillism

Is no fine art form safe from GWOP's hatchet?

First, we all much enjoyed GWOP's total misinterpretations of the Truman Show. Then ChurchMouse pops up to misconstrue Louisa May Alcott's viewpoint in "Little Women". And now, most recently, we have Sharla and 'Annie Louise' (wink wink) relying upon neoimpressionist technique as further evidence that Kate Gosselin is the world's crappiest mom.

I stumbled on this week's GWOP's main page post by 'Annie Louise' (wink wink) when I was over there copying Sharla's Mother's Day picture. Apparently, only people who took an art history class would know what pointillism is. :: a million eye rolls ::


Kate's Behavior as Art by Annie Louise

Once again, this falls into the “why was I using any brain cells even thinking of this?” category. But something occurred to me about how people here are so criticized by the sheeple for the way we point out seemingly small things about Kate. They think we pick on her for things that don’t matter. But it’s actually a lot like pointillism (welcome back to art history class, folks.)

You know it – the style of art (Georges Seurat, etc.) in which the artist uses small dots of paint. Viewed up close, it looks like random little blobs. You step back a bit, and a whole, very cohesive picture appears. (pixels on an LCD TV work the same way to form an image.)So while we may talk about little “dots” a good deal of the time – hair extensions, a scowly photo, a cackly laugh, a sick tup on the laundry room floor, “come and get your popcorn,” a book tour away from the kids – we’re all keenly aware of the big picture those things form. Taken by themselves, I don’t think anyone would think twice about one of the “dots.” But each one fits into the big picture, and it’s a damn ugly and disturbing one.She just keeps supplying us with dot after dot to add to the picture, doesn’t she?

Thank you Annie Louise

Posted by Sharla on 05/06/2010


Dear Annie Louise (wink, wink):

You ignorant slut. I know you weren't talking to me in your ... um, very provocative essay because ... um, I am not a sheeple. I wouldn't have the foggiest clue what Kate Gosselin or her kids were doing if it weren't for your ilk following her around like lost puppies. But allow me anyway, if you will, to point counterpoint your completely stupid post.

First a correction: Y'all don't 'seemingly' point out small things about Kate. There's no question about it. You DO point out small things about Kate. You all do it every day, all day.

And yes, we gwopwoppers totally get that you do it to "paint" a picture of Kate -- a very unflattering one. We also get that you're 100% physically and psychologically incapable of painting your picture using any sort of positive strokes and bright colors.

I won't speak for other gwopwoppers, but what strikes *ME* as so completely oddball about you and your [holds nose]kind[hold nose] is that you're bothering to paint a picture at all--- even if it were by some miracle a totally positive picture.

I'm not sure I can't state this any more clearly than I've already tried to state a hundred mission times, but normal people do not sit around and scrutinize, analzye and judge every last detail of another person's life. Normal people worry only about their own lives, their own happiness and their own love offerings.

In the spectrum of life, people can be classified by three personality types: fans, normal people and psychos. I don't "get" fandom myself. Sure, there are lots of people, restaurants, books, songs, ideas, etc. that I admire but aside from the occassional rant on this here gwopwop blog -- the only way any celebrity will ever know how I feel about them is if THEY walk up to ME on the street and ask me. Fans, for whatever reason feel its necessary to go the extra mile and show their appreciation. All in all, fandom is apparently fun for the fans, seems completely harmless and is perhaps flattering, rewarding or motivating to the celebrity. Normal people, like me, just quietly buy their stuff, or not, and move on with life. Psychos try to inflict personal harm and injury on the object of their affection.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: YOU GWOPPERS ARE PSYCHOTIC!

Seurat's magnificent paintings represent his scientific experiments with color. He wasn't using dots to communicate the solution for world harmony in secret code. If he knew that highly paid professional sots like 'Anna Louise; (wink, wink) would one day misrepresent the significance of his work and color discoveries as a vehicle for crucifying someone, he probably would have taken a blow torch to A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grand Jatte and never painted again.

If Anna Louise (wink, wink) actually did take an art history course, I'm betting she flunked it.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms

Here's a happy happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there, excluding GWOP moms, Jodi, Julie, and Gloria Allred.

To all you GWOP moms, Jodi, Julie and Gloria, I hope not a day goes by without someone telling you what a crappy mom you are. I hope that someone just like you will have the good sense and fortitude to lobby hard for the removal of your kids from your homes as soon as humanely possible. Finally, I wish complete and total financial hardship for you and a shortage of low-heeled, sensible shoes. I'll be at the spa and I damn well not see any of you there.

And Yet

In the "Whatever" thread, a poster named Anonymous at 12:54 really pwns us. For brevity, I've substituted GWOP's six perpetual talking points with the words "blah, blah, blah". If you're not yet a expert in GWOP's sacred creed, the original comment still sits in the Whatever thread, unless of course my scathing rebuttal herein compels Anonymous to delete it out of total embarrassment.

Here's the redacted post followed by my scathing rebuttal:

Anonymous said...
The truth is a bitter pill to swallow. You guys hate the messengers, and yet you support the fact that Kate:

1) blah, blah blah, blah
2) blah, blah blah, blah
3) blah, blah blah, blah
4) blah, blah blah, blah
5) blah, blah blah, blah
6) blah, blah blah, blah

Please leave GWOP alone, they see Kate as she TRULY is, and there is millions of documented evidence to show who Kate truly is. And it's not pretty.

May 6, 2010 12:54 AM

Dear Anon at 12:54AM

I really hate to pick your comment apart, but if not me, who?
To be honest I don't really hate to pick your post apart -- I live for it.

Let's start with the first paragraph. You said " You guys hate the messengers, and yet you support the fact that Kate: blah blah blah."

Here's my beef. For normal people with an IQ, using the phrase "and yet" usually serves to describe a contradiction of some sort: a puzzle, if you will, that causes the reader to wonder what the real story might be. Your sentence, however, does nothing of the kind. YOU'VE USED THE PHRASE "AND YET" INCORRECTLY, YOU DILLWAD.

Here. Let me give you some examples where the phrase "and yet" is used properly.

1. The GWOPPERS claim to be a child advocates AND YET the overwhelming majority of posts at GWOP pertain to Kate's appearance.

2. The GWOPPERS all fancy themselves to be perfect moms and are very quick to judge Kate's every parenting move AND YET only one GWOPPER has submitted their application to gwopwop's parenting study, despite repeated invitations.

3. Julie Kamauf Daugherty Brown is a self-professed truthseeker AND YET she deleted all the posts on her blog that describe the real motivations for her and Jodi's on-going dispute with Jon & Kate. BTW, some nice person found those deleted posts and sent them to me. I've re-posted them here for your viewing pleasure.

4. Jodi and Kevin Kreider are sickened by Jon and Kate's alledge exploitation of their children AND YET they themselves continue to profit financially as a result of their own affiliation with the TV show and family. BTW, one day some nice person sent me a link to the Recorder of Deeds Office in Elizabethtown PA where there is evidence of at least two rather large lump sum mortgae payments (90,000+ if I'm remembering it correctly) which were made shortly after Jodi took it upon herself to inform the Internets that Kate is a [whisper] cheater [whisper]. We gots a picture of those documents posted here too somewhere. Search for the phrase "More proof that screwing your sister really pays."

5. Sharla told everyone that didn't have anything to do with the infamous "pig blog" AND YET we eventually come to find out that she's was the an administrator and creator of the blog. You see, one day some nice person sent me a picture of an Main Page post that Sharla\Peri accidentally made on the blog. I actually forget the specific details but they're posted here somewhere. Suffice it to say that outing Sharla as Peri and owner of the Pig Blog was one of the most exciting days in gwopwop history.

Okay, I hope these great examples help you, but you're really dumb so probably not. I will try best to think of some more infamous GWOP contradictions but I gots to go outside right now and move the sprinkler.

Your pal,


Pamela Anderson is one of the world's most iconic women?

Give me a break.

Maybe an iconic bimbo.

After considerable thought, I firmly believe that if Bruno had only mentioned Pam's great acting talent only 5 times every 10 minutes instead of 8 times every 3 minutes, it wouldn't have been quite so obvious that blathering on about her great acting talent was a negotiated condition of getting her to come on the show. Great acting talent? C'MON! Am I stupid? She played a lifeguard on the only show in US television history who actors never once uttered any word longer than two syllables.

Tom Bergeron says Pamela Anderson is such an icon that they've been begging her to be on the show since Season 1? Whatever, Tom. If she hedged about joining the show, it's because she thinks she's too cool for something as cornball as Dancing with the Stars. Cause Pam's a hard core rocker, don't you know. Married twice to the male version of Kat von D, who she dumped in favor of another adult male who insists on being called Kid Rock. She is the proud "victim" of not one, but two of those accidental sex tapes (wink, wink). And of all the things in the world to write about, she writes to Barack Obama urging the legalization of cannibas.

Don't get me wrong. I don't really care how Pamela Anderson chooses to live her life or make her money, but she's no great actor and she's not an icon.

However, I do not speak for the GWOPPERS. They love her.

Families that like entrusion

Yeah, entrusion. : rolls eyes: Like that's a word.

No Worry, Beef Curry said...
Agree, for the most part. Still, the cameras make me so ill. My sis' and I can't stand cameras, and she's a major extrovert. Our other sis' can't get enough of the spotlight. There is no way 8 kids collectively love that kind of entrusion.
5/01/2010 1:20 AM

Far be it from me to discount that normalcy that surely abounds in the "No Worry, Beef Curry" household, but in a matter of seconds, I was able to compile a list of collective families that seemingly can't (or couldn't) get enough entrusion (cough).

VonTropp family
Lennon Sisters
Jackson Five
Jonas Brothers
Smother Brothers
King Sisters
Pointer Sisters
Phoenix Family
Mary Kate and Ashley

Let the Record Reflect

I remembered to google "Did the ratings for Dancing with the Stars drop?" this morning and the first hit led to this little article, which I will re-post her for Sharla's viewing pleasure. Hi, Sharla!

The article is also proof that dopes like Bruno and Max wouldn't know how to make money if their lives depended on it. As dancing purists, however, I'm certain something as basic as supporting yourself is wholly unimportant to them.


Gosselin Leaves 'Dancing,' Ratings Drop
April 27, 2010

By: Scott Harris
Love her or hate her, nobody can deny that Kate Gosselin draws a crowd wherever she goes. The latest proof of this 21st Century truism: 'Dancing With the Stars,' which according to Entertainment Weekly has seen a significant ratings drop since she was voted off the show last week. Of course, just how much of that drop is due to the departure of Gosselin is hard to guess. Last night's performance episode drew a 4.3 rating and a 12 share in the key 18-49 demographic, which is down 10 percent from last week and 20 percent from the average for prior weeks (5.4/15).


WANTED: Attorney

Unfortunately, I have an annoying tendancy to do the right thing by people, obey the law, avoid conflict, and abide my contractual committments even when they're not really contracts at all.

So no worries, iwhyawli doesn't really need an attorney, but if I did, I think I would hire the novice attorney who advertises himself/herself to be a complete pushover in the courtroom with only a surface level knowledge of the law. I know they must be out there somewhere.

In the 5/1 Open Discussion thread, Jenny wrote an entire book and then toward the bottom, we can see that things look bad for Kate's upcoming custody battles.

Jenny said...

Btw, I know he fired his attorney (List) but I just read somewhere that he's hired a well known, aggressive Philadelphia attorney whose specialty is custody law. I forget her name but apparently she knows her stuff and is a real bulldog in the courtroom and doesn't let anything get by her. That's the last I heard...and that he's also "trying to work things out amicably with Kate." If that's the case...not sure why he'd go ahead and hire an attorney...but anyway, that's all I've heard about it so just wanted to mention it. Maybe I'm missing some more news on it.

4/30/2010 9:20 PM

One of iwhyawli's favorite TV shows used to be Boston Legal so I happen to know a little bit about the legal industry, and every industry has its own lexicon. In a real estate listing, for example, the word "charming" means "about to fall down" and in the health field, "nutricious " means "you'll crap for a week". Well, in the legal field, "high-powered" happens to mean "giant obnoxious and self-absorbed jackass."


I can't help but notice that the Dow plunged yesterday.

Kate getting the boot from DWTS followed by another sudden downturn in the economy can't be a coincidence.

Case in Point: When Kate was on the show, I would DRIVE to/from work on Mondays and Tuesdays just to make certain I was ass-in-chair by showtime. But this week, I'm back to taking the train and I missed both episodes. That's a savings of $40 per day in parking, tolls and at least one -half tank of gas. It won't be long before we're reading about mass layoffs again.

Let's also not forget the dramatic reduction in text messaging fees that this week brings.

I blame GWOP.

No Worries, Kate ...

... sometimes you must suffer a defeat to win a bigger victory. And, I always wanted my own telemarketing company.

Sorry to see you go, m'dear. On the upside, you've just put a big old dent in Jon's custody case. I'm also not sure how much more Bruno could stand. My enjoyment of his weekly suffering was frankly a little sick.

My advice to the on-going success of DWTS might be to get a judge that understands how the show works. The judge's scores count for less than half and the viewers votes count for more than half. The show's popularity drives up the price for advertising so that everyone goes home fat, happy and rich. If Bruno thinks anyone is watching week after week to watch his stupid antics and\or are basing their votes on who is dancing well, he (and Whoopi Goldberg) are more stupid than I thought.

Bruno might be better suited for a show call "Dancing with the Complete Unknowns"

It'll be interesting to see if viewership drops next week.

Tori and Dean Without Pity

Hi all , I would have posted much earlier but I was buzy voting for Kate Gosselin, and well, voting 32,064 times takes a lot of time.

Listen up. Even though Kate's fox trot was beyond elegance and perfection last night, it's just going to get tougher and tougher to keep her on the show. Bruno, as you saw and heard yet again last night, is one formidable gay man... err, I mean judge. But have no worries. I went out and purchased a telemarketing company this morning. My team in India is robo-dialing votes for Kate as I type.

And when voting closes, they'll robo-dial Sharla's house. Hee! I should of this much earlier.

In other news, lookee at this scoop from mkb77!
mkb77 said...
This has nothing to do with faking Christmas, but I didn't know where else to post it. I watched Tori and Dean last night. I know, I know..pitifrigginful, what can I say? I watched it. Mind candy, that's all it is. That and self made drama.
Having said that, I would like to point out the following in hopes that the Gwopatards that lurk here, will see these particular points:
A. Tori and Dean are making money off of their kids.
B. Their baby daughter Stella was filmed pooping in her potty last night.
C. Liam had a major diva issue with himself in this particular episode.
D. Tori and Dean have a lot to deal with in their relationship and seem to fight more this season.
Having said all of that, I myself could give a rat's behind if: they make money by having their life filmed for a reality show, their kids are shown on a potty chair, their kids have a meltdown, or their marriage is under duress. I watch the show cause it is there to watch.
Gwoptards, march forward and carry the torch for the McDermott/Spelling kids. They need you.
On behalf of GWOPPERS and child advocates everywhere, I thank you, mkb77. This is an outrage.
Anyone know if Gloria Allread has been notified?

Faking Christmas

How do kids do that exactly? Fake Christmas, I mean. Seriously, Kevin, you're pathetic. I don't even think Jewish kids could fake excitment over Christmas.

Assuming it actually happened, asking a bunch of excited little kids to jump and down and act all goofy on Christmas morning is what you consider 'psychologically harmful' ?

How about when you (cough) make them hide behind the couch with the lights out and shout "Surprise!" at their Mommy's birthday party? Is that okay?

How about when you (cough) park them in Time-Out and then make them say they're sorry when you know damn well they're not sorry for shit. Dat okay?

How about when you make them lie about their ages in order to get into Disney World for less (cough)? If stuff like that is pyschologically harmful, I know some kids in Columbia Maryland (cough) who probably need to be institutionalized.

I don't exactly know what the point of today's hearing was, Kev, but it's been a long time since a governmental event has needed to have a point. However, I did think that the floor length, banquet style table cloths were a nice touch. Hope that didn't cost too much extra. Most taxpayers are a little short on cash these days.

Myself, I thought the hearing meant to question the adequacy of Pennsylvania's child labor laws --- a worthwhile discussion any day. Unfortunately, it sounds like YOU thought the point of today's hearing was to charge Jon & Kate with child abuse.

Let me ask you something, you fucking idiot. Are Pennsylvania's child labor laws adequate? Or, um, don't we know because you and Old Glory Hole elected to sensationalize the event with a bunch of fake drama?

Once upon a time, you were the guy who changes the filter in my furnace twice a year. Now you're a child psychologist?

Don't make me watch the whole thing, Kev. Can my kid still have a paper route?

Do I need to fire my 8th grade baby-sitter?

Is the hearing over, Kevvy, or will be you be testifying (cough) again tomorrow? Make sure all the folks are aware of these little factoids:

1. Your wife gave gum to three years old. It's true, Kevin, don't deny it. We have it on film. Do you realize those kids could have choked on that gum? But I guess you can't be psychologically damaged when you've just choked to death, eh?

2. When Jon went to get his ill-fated hair plugs, your wife hauled her sick kids over to the Gosselins house in order to babysit. Here's a warning, toots. You purposefully expose my kids to illness and you'll never hear the end of it. Unless you want to know what psychological damage truly feels like, you'll keep your sick kids at home.

Now that I think of it, I don't believe I have received your application to GWOPWOP's Parenting Study yet. Chop chop, dude. I wouldn't want to miss the next congressional hearing.

Hello to Week 5

Ladies and gentlemen, I do believe this great country of ours just told GWOP (and Bruno) to kiss it.

Congratulations to Kate on your promotion to Week 5. Ca-ching!

I'm no James Carville, but it might behoove this latest hearing-holding Congressman (whoever he or she is) to watch this show. He would see that for every GWOP voter there appear to be 20 GWOPWOPPERS.

Baby Steps

Well you may think this post's title is directed to Kate and has something to do with her really great improvement tonite on DWTS Episode #4, but you'd be wrong. No, I direct these gentle words of encouragement to the lamebrain judges on this dumb ass show.

Great job, judges, you stupid jackasses. You let up on Kate like I hoped you would but opted instead to lay into everyone else. You've taken baby steps in the right direction, I guess, but what is it with you morons? Your comments about Niecey Nash's dance were so especially infuriating that you forced me to say a bad word in front of my kids.

Here's a couple clues, you unfeeling pinheads.

1. When someone's dance is dedicated to their deceased brother, you don't find fault with it. I don't care if she tripped and knocked out her two front teeth during that dance, you don't find fault with it. Honestly. You have to learn something like this on the Internet? From me? Good grief. Is decency and tact something only Americans have?

2. I know you judges would like us to think you don't miss a step during any of these dances. Incredibly, you somehow missed that Niecey Nash is an overweight, black comedienne and her dance partner is a 30 pound, small-boned gay man. AND .... THEY WERE DANCING A RUMBA! For Len, of course, the dance was a [british whine]bit boring[british whine]. Len, you're an idiot. Those two couldn't be more opposite yet they managed to make me and the rest of the universe completely forget all that whilst watching their dance. Their dance was lovely.

I may now understand why my goofy husband watches sports with the sound off.

DWTS Week 4 Prediction

Here's my official prediction for tonite's Week 4 Episode of Dancing with Stars. SPOILER ALERT! Don't read any further if you don't want know what's going to happen.


Kate will dance with Tony. Yes, folks, I'm that good at this.

My psychic powers also tell me they'll dance a tango. Just a feeling I've got.

She'll dance it poorly, just like any other 35-year-old single mom from rural Pennsylvania with 8 little kids, a deadbeat ex-husband and zero dance experience on live television would dance it.

Tom Bergeron and Brooke Adams will act like human beings should act when anyone dares to do something they've never done before.

Meanwhile Carrie Ann Innaba, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli will act .... just ... completely ... disgusted .... on the mistaken belief anyone really cares what those three think, especially since we've all now watched the farce called DANCE WARS. Bruno may faint he's so disgusted.

The GWOPPERS will be overjoyed. Sharla will feverishly try to photshop another interpretation of Bruno's poignant commentary (assuming she can understand him). The GWOPPERS will then hoot, holler and applaud Sharla as if she's Lucille Ball herself. I'll have to post another thread to ask someone to explain it to me.

Iwhyawli will be overjoyed at another opportunity watch the GWOPPERS mock someone
who is doing poorly.

Kate, TLC and ABC (or whatever network DWTS is on) will laugh all the way to the bank.

As it should be.

Anybody Know?

Not sure how I missed it but does anyone know the hilarious meaning behind GWOP's new masthead picture? It's a poorly photoshopped picture of someone in a shopping cart that is filled with paint cans and rolls of wallpaper. The shopping cart is being pushed by another person. Kate's face is pasted atop the person in the shopping cart. And Tony-the-Dancer's head is pasted atop the shopping cart pusher. A cartoon bubble leading to Kate's mouth says "Look At Me".

Here are my best guesses:

1. Kate will soon be starring in a new home improvement show with Tony-the-Dancer, who used to be a successful carpenter.

2. Instead of practicing for DWTS, Kate is forcing Tony-the-Dancer to re-paper the downstairs powder room.

3. Sharla is teaching herself how to use PhotoShop. Wait, not PhotoShop. GIMP. Sharla can't afford Photoshop.

4. Fostersmom wants everyone to know that she has no qualms whatsoever about using the pictures at FotoSearch without paying for them.

I command Sharla to bring the goslings picture back. Hey! Goslings sorta sounds like Gosselins! I at least "got" that picture.

Bruno, Bruno, Bruno

Whoa, my main man Bruno Tonioli continues to piss me off and I'm sad to say, he's thisclose to winning his very own BrunoTonioliWithoutPity blog, complements of iwhyawli. Consider this your first warning.

Have you all seen and\or read his interview with George Lopez? It's over there at radaronline today. He's quite the little man in that interview, isn't he? And by little, I mean small-minded.

Readers, go listen to that interview, do you think there will ever come a time when Bruno says something we don't already know? I'm not just talking about his comments about Kate's dancing. He NEVER says anything that isn't already painfully obvious. Pam Anderson has giant boobs? Gee thanks, Bruno, we hadn't noticed. If you insist on re-stating the obvious with such theatrical and cliche metaphors, perhaps you could find a way to do it more constructively. You do claim to be a teacher of dance, don't you?

I blame "great teachers" like Bruno for the reason I'm not an award-winning artist. As a young pup, I wanted to learn how to draw and paint in the worst possible way. But in order to get into art school, I had to have a portfolio. WTF? How do you build a portfolio if you don't know how to draw and paint?

So okay, I thought I might like to learn how to sing.... only to learn that I must *audition* for the high school choir. WTF? So I showed up and they gave me a sheet of music. How are you supposed to sing a song you've never heard when you don't know how to read music?

My point. How come none of these "judges" are offering Kate any constructive advice to help her overcome her obvious nerves. I hear them telling all the other dancers "to connect with each other", "to keep frame", "to point their toes", "to smile", "to pull their butts in", etc., etc., etc., What's their beef with Kate that they can't come up with anything other than [carrie]my, that was odd[carrie] or [bruno]she's crap"[bruno].

Bruno, dear, what's *your* point? Why so upset? Should Kate kill herself because she can't dance? What is it that compels you to go on the George Lopez Show and skewer any of the show's contestants with such disgust, especially when you also admit that she's trying hard.

Should Kate throw in the towel, Bruno? Should her fans stop giving her this opportunity?

Because if we should stop doing stuff that we're no good at, Bruno, perhaps you should stop trying to speak the English language.

Bruno, you speak our language like crap.

I realize you're trying hard, but you're crap.

OMG ! Look Who Rose From the Dead

ChurchMouse is BAAAAACKK, everybody! And during Easter Week too. How very appropriate.

If you recall, ChurchMouse is a very sensy GWOPPER who blog-i-cided several weeks ago, after writing this big long post that all the negativity at GWOP was too much for her delicate sensibilities. She wanted her fellow gwoppers to know that she was going to rise above it all, but fervently hoped that everyone else would carry on with their negativity. When to her dismay, no one begged her to stay, she sent one final post to fostersmom with permission to post it on the Main Page. Surely you recall GWOP's infamous "Little Women" post where ChurchMouse hoped Kate would raise her girls as subserviant females whose primary goal should be marriage to a good man.

So what earth-shattering event compels ChurchMouse back to blogging? That bitch Kate used plastic eggs during the Easter Egg hunt.

ChurchMouse said...
Regarding the Easter Eggs.

Hi, I haven't posted in a while, but the DWTS fiasco sucked me right back in. And I don't even GET cable.

About the eggs--She used plastic eggs and filled them with candies. Then the kids put them in their plastic Easter Buckets.

Pity. Part of the fun of Easter was helping to dye and decorate the eggs. The smell of vinegar always takes me back to the entire family around the table dying eggs. My brother used to make little egg stands with feet out of cardboard. We'd draw little faces on the eggs in crayon, and then add little paper ears and cotton to make little bunnies out of the eggs.

And of course, the entire family had hard-boiled eggs for lunch for the next week in our paper bag lunches. And I wouldn't trade those memories for anything.

4/07/2010 5:24 AM

I've no idea where CM gets the idea that the Gosselin kids didn't get to dye any Easter Eggs whilst surrounded by fragant wafts of vinegar, but GWOP's posts have never made sense before so why start now.

Labels for this post: Self Control

I Have To Laugh

Man oh Man, for someone who reportedly abhors Kate's controlling nature, Sharla sure spends a lot of time bossing those GWOPPERS around. She's got rules on frigging rules over there. Hey you stupid GWOPPERS, don't you be posting comments in the wrong thread on the wrong topic and at the wrong time. IT PISSES SHARLA OFF.

I suspect many GWOPPERS find it harder to post at GWOP than filling out their 1040EZ.


Kate's fans reward all her hard work and she moves on to Week 4.
Iwhyawli couldn't be happier.

Meanwhile, Len is shocked and dismayed that we Americans didn't save Buzz Aldrin. Really Len? The primary focus of the show is 101 different ways to exaggerate a woman's chest. Half the viewers don't even know Earth has a moon. The other half are parked over there on GWOP hatching plots to have eight little kids taken away from their mother.

Last week, we watch Shannon Doherty get the boot after hearing such loving sentiments about her Dad. Tonite, it's Buzz Aldrin. From where I sit, getting booted off the show as soon as possible just might mean you're doing something right in your life.

It was a real treat to see you, Mr. Aldrin. You're totally awesome.

Oh Goody

Sounds like Jon plans to step back into the batter's box for another whack at custody and not paying any child support. Apparently that's an easier option than say getting a job.

Question for Bruno Tonioli

Dear Bruno,

Are you gay? No wait. That's not my question. Of course, you're gay. NTTAWWT but for crap sake you find an overt way in virtually every episode to make it painfully clear that you're gay. So here's my question. How come I don't know the sexual preference of anybody else on the show except yours? Is Len gay? How about that singer who wears the jewelry on her forehead? Perhaps you're worried that a GWOPPER might fall in love with you. But um, dudette, they're already married to gay guys. In fact, if you don't dial up the testosterone a bit, they're gonna be sending you their unnawears. Ask Jon if you don't believe me.

Dear Kate,

I learned today that if I connect remotely to my work computer and then to all my client's computer systems, I can vote for you multiple times. Let's see, that's at least 120 different computer systems times 10 votes each plus all my 30,000+ cell phone votes. Say Hello to Week 4, toots! Congratulations. No need to thank me but if you really did want to thank me, I'd like you dance even more poorly. I like how your dancing irks the ever-living shit out of Carrie Ann Innaba, and of course, I LOVE how batty it makes the GWOPPERS. Kate, if you make it to Week 4, we just may see some sort of stampede over there.

Dear Max and Erin,

Simmer down. You were so darn cute together last week. This week, obnoxious.

Meet a new GWOPPER

If you were a long-time reader and first-time poster of anything, would this be your first post?


Dana said...
Loong time reader, first time poster....Just wanted to say, I totally TOTALLY just threw up in my mouth when Tom said that they were safe, just sayin.
3/30/2010 5:57 PM


My. What a substantive contribution.

I've said it once and I'll say it again. Those people aren't right in the head.

Shannon Doherty

On the train in this morning, I was able to watch the DWTS re-broadcasts of Ep 1 and Ep 2 with Shannon Doherty. I was right, she was on during the earlier parts of both shows and I just missed her. I must no longer worry that I've been suffering some sort of black-outs. Shannon's agent should have worked harder to get her on later in the show so that the latecomers like me can watch her. I can't say I'm familiar with Shannon Doherty, her important work on 90210 or even the show 90210. However, I do know OF Shannon Doherty but much like Kim Kardashian and Brittany Murphy (may she rest in peace), I have zero idea why they are (or were) famous. I do know the zip code of the once popular hit show ZOOM. It's 02134.

But that's not why I'm writing today. I just wanted to write that I found it very touching and very sweet to hear and see Shannon's loving comments about her Dad and to see her Dad so happy and pleased . I'm quite sorry that her Dad fell ill and that Shannon was booted of the show. No one ever asks me these things but I think it would be much more interesting to save any booting for later in the show when we've had a much better chance to get to know these people and to see how hard everyone is working. Afterall, most of these stars -- Buzz Aldrin being the exception -- aren't really that famous.

Did Kate Get the Boot?

grrrrrr.... I'm having to work late tonight and cannot watch DWTS. Did Kate get the boot?
Who got the boot? I GOTTA KNOW DAMMIT!

Some colleagues and I were chit-chatting about DWTS today. I must say it was interesting to hear peeps who aren't tuned into the whole GWOP-hates-Kate thing chitchat about the show. Reading the GWOPPER comments, you'd think Kate had some sort of grand mal seizure last night. Normal people, however, don't have any sort of vehement reaction to Kate's dancing or for that matter any star's dancing. They commented about everything and everyone ---- Pamela's boobs, are Max and Erin dating?, are Cheryl and OchoCinco dating?, is Bruno dating Elton John?, Edyta's total hotness, Kate's nervousness, Buzz's age, Julianne's whereabouts, etc, etc. --- but definitely the conversation was NOT locked on Kate. Go figure. It just may be that Kate is not an embarassment to the nation and thefore the reason why Iran refuses to give up nuclear weaponry.

Katie Irene, I voted for you, with all 35,843 of my cell phones that I specifically purchased for the show. Hope you get another go at it next week.

And another thing.

Anytime I hear something like "I teach the teachers", it takes everything I have to keep from giving one of those beating off hand gestures that Michael Jackson makes in his Thiller video. We've all met students, employees, relatives and friends with Kate's controlling personality. So if by now you -- the self-professed teacher of teachers -- don't know how to deal with those peeps, perhaps it's time to go see "the teacher that teaches the teachers who teach the teacher". And that's all I'm gonna say about that, Tony Donoloni, or whatever your name is.

On the other hand, if that whole incident was staged just to get the GWOPPERS going, nevermind.

DWTS Episode #2

So um, yeah, the mental image of Bruno dancing in the moonlight with Elton John is something I could have done without.



Bruno is gay? Who knew?



I sure wish Kate could enjoy this whole experience more. She puts so much darn pressure on herself to learn the stuff when all I really want to see is a Mom of Eight having lots of fun with it. C'mon now, who amongst us doesn't wish someone would swing us around like an airplane whilst wearing a red sparkly outfit with fringe? Or, if we were GWOPPERS, which we aren't, who amongst us wouldn't wish somone COULD swing us around like an airplane in our sparkly red outfits?

Come on, people. Even that consummate bl0-hard Max Cherosnofiszowsky finally seems to get that it's an entertainment show and not the Ballroom World Olympics. When I see Derek Hough and the Pussy Cat Doll pumping their fists because they got a high score even through they're both professional dancers competing against an 80 year old man, I just roll my eyes.

Kate, do you want me to vote for you? I'm not sure.


Kate, before I comment on your Dancing with the Stars debut, I've gotta ask---what the hell is living in Pamela Anderson's hair? Holy crap ... what a frigging rat's nest. I also think she was high on something, but perhaps her perpetual blonde bimbo/middle-aged porn chick schtick just makes it seem that way. And the thorn tattoo armband thing? Just charming.

Okay, back to you.

Kate, chin up, YOU DID JUST FINE!

What I like best about this show -- what I think everyone likes most about this show ---- is watching folks from all different walks of life claw their way out of their discomfort zone. I've been watching for 10 seasons now and I still don't know what a "fleckle" is and it's become very clear that no one ever plans to demonstrate one. I actually don't know why the judge's even bother to comment on any particular moves or technique. I figure those comments are meant for all the other ballroom judges who watch the show. All 4 of them.

The judges need to lighten up, especially Bruno. Yeesh.

Chelsea-the-dancer said the show is about improvement. I disagree. I think the show is about hard work, bravery, humility, perserverance and personal triumph. Who really cares if any of those stars improve? It's not like they fancy themselves in new careers as professional dancers.

Truth be told, I went and put a load of laundry in during the pussy cat doll person's dance. If I wanted to watch the pussy cat doll dance, I would buy tickets to their professionally choreographed shows in Las Vegas. Which I've never done, btw, despite the fact that I'm in Las Vegas at least 5 times every year. I don't buy for a second that ballroom dancing is a stretch for her, whatever her name is.

I missed the first half hour, but I enjoyed watching. I enjoyed watching you, Kate. I enjoyed Niecey. I enjoyed Evan. Enjoyed Buzz. And while I was all prepared to loathe The Bachelor guy, I found that I enjoyed him too. Hope I didn't leave anyone out.. You're all very good sports. Thanks for sharing your vunerabilities.

Good Luck Tomorrow, Kate!

Good Luck tomorrow, Kate! Hope you really enjoy yourself and have tons and tons of fun. No pressure but should you happen to dance great tommorrow, it will mean that we gwopwoppers get to watch the GWOPPERS spontaneously self-combust (again). Then again, if you dance awful, the GWOPPERS will still self-combust so heck, we gwopwoppers really can't lose on this deal no matter what. All you got to do, Kate, is show up. Or, hmm, come to think about it, you probably don't even have to show up. It's not like they'll be watching (cough). See Kate, we gwopwoppers are well aware that you could discover the cure for cancer, end world hunger and find Osama bin Ladin for us but you'll always be a dirty whore over there at GWOP.

I hope you'll be able to take your boys (ok, sure, the girls too) to meet Buzz Aldrin. What a totally fantastic opportunity that would be. The second guy to walk on the moon! Holy mackeral! Okay yeah, lots of peeps have since walked on the moon and it's always gonna be cool to meet any astronaut but to meet one of those Apollo 11 guys ? Awesome. Too bad Aunt Jodie had to whisper to the world that you're [whisper]a cheater[whisper] cause otherwise I bet you'd probably try to get her kids in to meet Buzz Aldrin too.

So sad, too bad for Aunt Jodie. I weep for her.

Sending the Wrong Message with Body Art

Today's photo montage at offers us the perfect reason why Kate Gosselin and Sharla should get rid of their tattoos.


If you saw this week's issue of People Magazine, you probably spied Kate's Winnie-the-Pooh tat on her ankle. At first glance, I thought Kate forgot to shave her legs but then I put on my reading glasses. Sharla, of course, has tattooed knuckles just like Jesse James' mistress. pictured above. Sharla's knuckles spell out L-O-V-E.
Nothing personal, y'all, but iwhyawli just doesn't care for body art. I don't have body art because I would never want to be mistaken for a GWOPPER.

Dang You TLC!

I'm reading where Jon Gosselin reportedly turned down an offer to appear nude in Playgirl, and well, I only have TLC and that darn injunction to thank ... I mean, blame.

Unlike the GWOPPERS, we gals never get to see a naked fat guy, do we? Is that fair? No, it's absolutely not fair. It's not fair to fat guys and it's not fair to women with buff husbands and boyfriends. I don't know how much a copy Playgirl Magazine costs these days, but if by chance someone holds a gun to my head and makes me buy one then dammit there better well be a buck naked, middle-aged, balding fat guy in there.

Ta-ta for now. I'm off to google naked fat guys.

Was there another earthquake or did GWOP explode?

I had to sit through another episode of that stupid Bachelor show but it was well worth it.

Kate Gosselin is Contestant #10 on Dancing with the Stars!

Now please tell me that she's partnered with Max.

Congratulations to Kate. I'll look forward to watching.


This picture has got to be an early April Fool's joke. I'll choose to believe that really is Hailey's body because anyone else with a body like that wouldn't wear such a cheezy outfit. I especially love the sooper sexy arm thing.

Another Reason to Hate Jon Gosselin

So now that Monday Nite football is over (thank god) and there's no J&Kplus8 or DWTS to amuse the iwhyawli household, yesterday I somehow found myself watching ..... (oh this is so embarassing) ... The Bachelor.

WTF. And people are bitching about the Miss America pageant?

If The Bachelor isn't the dumbest, most insipid, most vapid show in the history of all television, I'd like to know what show is.

Yeah, I get it. The whole show is entirely fake and all the contestants are wannabe actors/actresses who are merely pretending to find their (next) husband/wife over the course of 6 weeks while their small children from their first unsuccessful marriages stay with grandma, but um, someone still invented the idea for the show, someone agreed to air it, they somehow found sponsors for it, they found at least 5 people who were willing to be on the stupid show, and worse, it's* my understanding that the show is now in its* tenth season or something like that, which means people out there are deliberately watching it.

This country is doomed. DOOMED!

*Attenion Sharla: No additional charge for illustrating the proper use of "it's" verus "its". You're welcome.

Man oh Man, Sharla is really slipping.

I'm no stranger to typos and grammatical problems myself, but I can usually get the one-line, seven-word comments right. Time to lay off the sauce, Sharla.