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Click here for iwhyawli's tongue-in-check version of GWOP's 954,012 posting rules. If you're wondering why GWOP has so many posting rules, you're not alone.

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Get Jon Gosselin STAT

As you can see by the illustration below, GWOP is in urgent need of Jon's IT Specialist skills. If I'm not mistaken, the "specialist" now stands for "web developer" (wink, wink).

Jon, I realize you're now too famous to work but after all these women have done for you and your family, surely can you help them out. For free, of course.

Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Interview: Question #22

In Answer #22, we see Jon bash Kate followed by "I'm not bashing her." Oh my gawd, that's funny stuff folks. Was he drunk during this interview? I'm not going to even try to understand the stuff about Regis, the View and women's rights. Yeah, cause when I think of Regis Philbin or even Kelly Rippa, oddly enough women's rights or voting doesn't come to mind. Speaking of voting, Jon, I'd really sort of wish that you and Hailey wouldn't vote. The idea that either one of you is permitted to vote on anything other than pizza toppings is really quite disturbing. I dare say you might be the reason why this country is so messed up, Jon. Please stop voting.

PD: What do you mean?

JG: She goes on Regis and The View and has no idea of women's rights. She doesn't even vote, which is disgusting. How could she go on a talk show if she doesn't know what's going on in the world? She's fed lines from TLC. I'm not bashing her -- it's wake up and get on board, take this out of the court and let's settle it.

Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Interview: Question #21

Moving along in the ParentDish interview, Jon delivers his best impression of John "We're more Popular than God" Lennon. Hard to believe he's so horribly misreading his "popularity." One man's popularity is another man's freak show I guess. This lil' answer alone just seems to scream willful intent to breach the TLC contract but then I'm not on the jury (or am I?). I sure hope the folks at Williams & Connolly don't see this. I bet Kate is kissing herself that she didn't "wake up" otherwise she'd probably be getting sued too.

PD: Smart move.

JG: Every talk show wants us. I am the most photographed person the planet. Kate is the fifth most popular person in the world this year, and I'm the second most popular. Michael Jackson is the first. I'm like, 'Wake up, Kate.'


Attention: Jon and Hailey are on a break

In case you haven't heard Jon say this for the 3 trillionth time in the last week, he and Hailey are currently on a break.

A break from what is not exactly clear.

If they're not talking, tweeting or texting TO each other, they're parked in front of the papparazzi talking, tweeting and texting ABOUT each other. Neither has any apparent plans to "date" other people, get a job, tend to their families, enroll in school, get a hobby, quit smoking, or stop eating. Basically, it appears that they're taking a break from spending their time together doing absolutely nothing. They'll now continue to do absolutely nothing with their lives in separate states, unless of course Entertainment Tonite summons them to appear together on TV so that they can talk about their "break."

Jon says they're "taking some time to get their heads together." I don't mean to hurt their feelings or anything but that's not a break either. Something of that magnitude will take those two an eternity.

Later this month, of course, they'll take a break from their break by spending Thanksgiving together because during the break, Jon has no plans to make any new friends and\or spend Thanksgiving with his own Mom and siblings. As Hailey made perfectly clear, Jon is such a loser that his only Thanksgiving options are to end their break else sit alone in his Manhattan apartment doing nothing. Where's Mark Heller?

Do you suppose there's any chance that Jon and Hailey might give iwhyawli a break?
I don't think so. They don't know what a break is.

Deep Analysis of Jon's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #20

Well friends, I wish I could say we're almost done with the analysis of Jon's interview at ParentDish, but well the guy just doesn't know when to shut up. I think there's at least 8 more questions to plow through. Ugh.

Question 20 begins a series of questions in which Jon rambles on about the papparazzi. And what a bunch of rambling it is! Rambling that's probably music to everyone's ears at Willams & Connolly, especially that stuff about "toast" and "making money for your family." This Thanksgiving I will be certain to include a shout-out for the papparazzi during grace. A world without tabloid magazines (which for Jon is the only kind of magazine there is apparently) would just be too hellish.

And I've said this before but it merits additional mention because I think the Glassman parents are getting off far too lightly: the whole thing about "Hailey and I just hung out in her parents' house for awhile" is beyond creepy to read coming from a 32-year-old male.

PD: How are the paparazzi dealing with you these days?

JG: Hailey and I just hung out in her parents' house for awhile because of the paparazzi. But I know that if you didn't have paparazzi, there would be no magazines, no advertising, no marketing, no nothing.

If you run away from them, you're totally toast. So let them take your picture and that's it. After they get the picture then they go away. We're just like, who cares, do what you gotta do and make money for your family. I know a lot of them. I know where their parents live.