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Click here for iwhyawli's tongue-in-check version of GWOP's 954,012 posting rules. If you're wondering why GWOP has so many posting rules, you're not alone.

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You Served Us Well, Miss October

It's time to say "farewell and don't let the door hit ya on the way out " to October's GWOPPER-of-the-Month. You and all your idiot friends who wrote to protest your nomination served this blog well. Why so sensy, gals? Yeesh. If you hated my pick for October's GOTM, you're *really* gonna hate November's. I'm almost askeered to post it. Mebbe y'all should wait until December before coming back to read here.

October 2009

When she's not stalking
Kate Gosselin or Clay Aiken,
this GWOPPER elects to spend her retirement
on secret blogs and in GWOP chatrooms.
Scary, isn't it?

BFFs include Preesi and Sharla.

Open Discussion: 11-06 to tbd

Time for more open discussion! That's assuming you can stop laughing after you see this picture ...


(also thanks to anon@11:31am)

Hailey Glassman Reveals Another Layer?

"... the gay version of Michael Lohan"

--- Hailey Glassman

Proving that one can stick her foot in her mouth even while tweeting, Hailey Glassman recently takes a painfully feeble swipe at Michael Lohan and Perez Hilton. Yes, I realize that Michael Lohan is a no-talent, media whore, but um, so is Hailey Glassman. So it's always pretty hilarious to see one no-talent, media whore (Hailey) take a dig at another no-talent, media whore (Lohan). The intended targets (Lohan and Perez) escape unscathed.

Surely by now there is some sort of Tweeting University in which no-talent, media whores can enroll (on-line, natch) in order to learn proper tweeting techniques. Hailey, get thee to tweeting school tout de tweet*.

I'm no rocket scientist but when trying to improve one's public image, it's generally not a swell idea to hurl public insults that also include references to race, creed, gender or sexual preference. Despite your ulitimate coolness, Hailey, it's just too darn easy to be mistaken for the mindless bigot that you are.

Perhaps you should re-think this idea for letting us get to know the "real" Hailey. You're uglier than I thought.

* Note to Gwoppers: This is a play on words. I could have written 'tout de suite' but it wouldn't have been nearly as funny. Plus, Hailey doesn't know French.

Kate's Story

OK, just watched Kate's Story and learned nothing too new that hadn't already been revealed or discussed. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Therein I believe we see the fundamental and important difference between "Kate's Story" and "Jon's Story" ---- consistency. You can hate Kate's hair all you want, you can dislike her parenting decisions, but you cannot deny that she's been telling a consistent story. If she's been well coached, good for her. I'm a coach (of sorts), and I know that you can not coach someone who doesn't have vision, goals or standards. Jon, on the other hand, well, yeah. Good luck with that, Shmuley. I'm sure you'll unravel all that is or isn't going on in Jon's head soon enough. But preferably by Christmas so that Hailey gets her Christmas stocking.

A long time ago, someone sent an anonymous comment here regarding the Jodi's "whisper" interview, telling me that Jon purposefully fed that lie to Jodi and Kevin out of spite, knowing full well they'd take it to the tabloids. If Blogger had a half-way decent comment feature, I'd try to go looking for that comment again to see if I posted it. For some reason, I think I chose not to post it because I thought the accusation was so outrageous. At that time in the blog's history, I was trying not to post anything unflattering about either parent unless I heard it from their very own mouths. Hearing Kate tonite identify the person (Jon) and the story that suited/ unleashed the paparazzi, I instantly recalled this comment. I now can't help but wonder if it was an accusation or another clue.

Kids and their Magical Powers

Well, readers, from the sounds of things, Rabbi Shmuley is making great progress with Jon*.

Let's see. Instead of showing up two hours late or not at all, Jon only kept people waiting for a half hour. Fortunately, most of them already stayed home since he allegedly said (in the 11th hour) that he wasn't going to show up and then he did. Not that I care what happens to people who pay $25 to see a guy humiliate himself but that's not the point. The point is: Jon was late. Again. Saying you'll show up at a designated time and then not showing up or showing up late is a textbook example of passive aggression. People are not habitually late by accident. They are habitually late because they are self-centered jackasses.

We also have another heartfelt* apology from Jon to Kate which this time includes his declaration of love and devotion to his mistress, Hailey Glassman, in the very same sentence. Jon is nothing if not an efficient wordsmith. And yet, neither one of them can understand why Hailey is perceived as a homewrecker. This intriques me and my only guess is that they are confusing the word "homewrecker" with "slut". If Hailey were just a slut and not a homewrecker, she'd limit her relationship with Jon to sexy time without all the Kate smacktalk that only serves to place the kids smackdab in the middle of the confusion, hard feelings and angst.

Let's assume, knock wood, Hailey and Jon do reconcile and marry after the divorce**. Even if Hailey is on the verge of discovering the cures for cancer and world hunger, she'll forever be perceived BY THE KIDS as the "step monster" who spoke smack about their mother during the unhappiest time of their lives. Every "family event" from here on out will most likely be awkward and contentious for all three adults and so the kids too. Folks, that's called "homewrecking". Contrary to The Insider's professional life coach, Star Jones, homewrecking has little to do with extramarital sex before a couple legally separates.

Finally, we have Jon taking Rabbi Shmuley's good advice to "stop dating because the kids are going through a tough time." Jon, of course, interprets this to mean that he can resume dating Hailey again in 30 days as soon as the divorce is final (and so she should just wait because 30 days isn't that long). Hailey, of course, doesn't dump Jon because its healthy for the kids: she claims to dump Jon because that's the healthy thing to do for herself. Two more selfless people the world has never known.

Thank goodness for kids and their magical powers. It's well known that they're born with immunity to most diseases and viruses but lesser known is their complete subservience to the legal calendar. On whatever date the divorce is final, the difficult time they're currently enduring will be magically over and Jon can get back to humping Hailey and rubbing Kate's face in it. The legally divorced date cannot come soon enough for Jonnie. Hailey may not have to forgo her first Christmas stocking after all and it'll be a a Merry, Merry Christmas for everyone!

Thanks Rabbi Shmuley! Good work*.

* Note to GWOPPERS: This is sarcasm.

** Iwhyawli supports this outcome since these two slobs shouldn't be permitted to screw up any more lives. And let's face, they deserve each other.

Oh that wikipedia makes me chuckle


Allred was born in Philadelphia, on July 3, 1941 with cloven hooves and horns on her head, as well as the markings of "666" on the crown of her skull. After high school, she attended the University of Pennsylvania. There she met her first husband and married. The couple had their first child, Lisa, in 1961. Shortly afterwards, Allred and her husband divorced.