Rules for Posting

Click here for iwhyawli's tongue-in-check version of GWOP's 954,012 posting rules. If you're wondering why GWOP has so many posting rules, you're not alone.

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Today at GWoP, we have a thread asking "what would you like to see the kids do? "

Seriously, I can't make this shit up if I tried. If you don't believe me, check it our for yourself http:/

Baffling. This batty group who is so COMPLETELY OUTRAGED over the exploitation of these children apparently can't get enough of the exploitation.

And then some twit named LAP makes it obvious that she so hates the exploitation of the Gosselin children that she can't even tear herself away from the re-runs.
LAP said:
The twin thing sounds like a really great idea for Cara and Mady. Heck, even if J&K took just them what fun that would be!And ya know...I was thinking about this very topic the other day while watching reruns. Mady and Cara are made to do a lot of 'baby' things just for the little ones. I have a 6 year old and a 4 year old and my 6 year old is definately getting to be on a different level than my 4 year old. I've been wracking my brain on what I can do with them this summer where they both will have fun but won't feel like one is doing something that is too old for them and the other feeling like its too babyish. I still haven't come up with anything and will be looking here on what I can do with my own kids. LOL
5/06/2009 2:19 PM


I'm not from this planet, am I?

Meet a Savant

According to the GWoP's helpful FAQ document, they're not a bunch of catty nutbags over there -- they're all highly educated professionals. As proof, allow me to post "Steph's" comment in one of the latest threads about Jon's alleged girlfriend.
Steph said :
"There are two ways to look at the brother...either he is trying to get his sister to realize that she is being used OR he is a douchenozzle. They are close enough that they share a house, so I am guessing that he doesn't want his naive sister to get hurt. Which, of course, she will. I don't understand how Deanna, a second grade teacher, could be unaware of the damage this is doing to Madelyn and Cara. Unless she hopes to be involved in their lives one day, and can give them more than Kate--err, the nannies--can."
5/05/2009 10:19 PM

Gee, Steph, this really shouldn't be so hard to understand. Perhaps Deanna doesn't understand the damage her behavior is causing Madelyn and Cara because SHE ISN'T DOING ANYTHING WRONG????

Seriously, Steph, are you a savant ? We typically don't see such thoughtful far-reaching analysis from everyday normal people like us. You've clearly pegged the brother motives. You should be an FBI profiler when you grow up.

One more thing: Can I ask you not to vote in any federal elections?

A Case Study in Projection

The current level of GWoP gossip-mongering regarding Jon and Kate's assorted lovers is positively surreal, leaving me to conclude that the GWoPPers won't be 100% happy with their heartfelt crusade against child exploitation until those oh-so exploited Gosselin children also become the product of a broken home.

:: shakes head sadly ::

:: steeples fingers under chin :::

Classic, classic projection.

Why just the other day, I was walking my dear pitbull through the neighborhood when I happened to overhear this GwOPPer and her child talking whilst FiFi crapped on their lawn. I'm totally not kidding you. I'm totally NOT paraphrasing. The following GWoPPer conversation is retold to you verbatim:


Kid: I'm hungry, mommy.
When are you going to log off the computer and make us dinner?

Mom: (seething) Can't you see I'm reading the news?

Kid: About the war in Aff-i-gan-i-stan?

Mom: No, Jon Gosselin is at the mini-mart.

:: kid pauses in confusion ::

Kid: What's he buying, Mommy?

Mom: We don't know, but we're sure it's condoms.

:: kid pauses in confusion ::

Kid: What's a condom, mommy?

Mom: It's a thin sheath of rubber that a man pulls over his penis when he is about to have sexual relations with a women who is not his wife.

:: kid pauses in confusion ::

Kid: C'mon, mommy, I'm hungry. Make us dinner.

Mom: Go to bed.

Kid: But it's only 5 o'clock, mommy!.

Mom: I said GO.TO.BED!

Kid: Wah! Wah! I want Daddy!

Mom: He's at the mini-mart.

:: kid snickers ::

Kid: Buying condoms?


Hairdo Rage

It's not enough that the GWoPPers can't stand Kate Gosselin as a parent, they also can't stand her hair. I especially love reading those comments, which are frequent and many. They lend such credibility to their cause. :eyeroll:

We invite the chickenshit GWoPPers to send or post pictures of their own hairdos. A mother that truly loves her children would welcome our feedback.

Raise Your Hand

Now that our blog rules are all set, I'm ready to start passing judgment on the GWoPPers. Hmmm... where to start... where to start?

Let's see. When I was inspired to create this blog, I wanted the name ILLmommy as an homage to PENNmommy who I understand was one of that rag's original founders. But "ILL" didn't mean Illinois as PENN meant Pennsylvania, it meant 'SICK' as in what sort of sadsack makes it their life's work to so publically pass judgment.

Alas, ILLmommy wasn't available so I went with "iwhyawli" which is an acronym for "I wonder how you all will like it".

Raise your hand if you'd like your parenting called into question.
C'mon now. Who's first?

Anyone? Bueller?