I didn't think Mark Heller (or, for that matter, Jon Gosselin) could possibly portray himself to be more neanderthal than what we've already seen and heard, but I was wrong.
If I may quote Mark Heller in reference to this past weekend's alleged burglary: "Jon feels like he was raped."
...
...
Jon, allow me to offer you some comfort and key reasons as to why you shouldn't feel "raped":
1. You were not sexually assaulted.
...
....
You'll most likely find yourself in prison some day (soon, hopefully).
Be careful what you wish for, sweetie.
Recording November's Poll Results for Posterity
What a shame that Hailey's considerable talents as a girl-girl boxing referee in seedy airport hotels didn't come to light before gwopwop's November's poll. So sad, too bad. I am otherwise forced to record herein for posterity the overwhelming sentiment that Hailey's best offering to prospective employers is her willingness to sleep with fat guys. Ha.
---------------------------------------------
As a new semi-single woman, which of Hailey Glassman's skills offer the most value to prospective employers in the event she "decides to get a job."
Home Wrecking 20 (18%)
Media Whoring 34 (31%)
Fake Crying 27 (24%)
Hurling lame
homophobic insults
at tabloid bloggers 21 (19%)
Willingness
to sleep with
fat guys 74 (67%)
Sitting on ass
all day doing
nothing 36 (33%)
---------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------
As a new semi-single woman, which of Hailey Glassman's skills offer the most value to prospective employers in the event she "decides to get a job."
Home Wrecking 20 (18%)
Media Whoring 34 (31%)
Fake Crying 27 (24%)
Hurling lame
homophobic insults
at tabloid bloggers 21 (19%)
Willingness
to sleep with
fat guys 74 (67%)
Sitting on ass
all day doing
nothing 36 (33%)
---------------------------------------------
Bizarro GWOP Analogies
Yeah, nobody can turn a phrase like the GWOPPERS*. I'm gonna use this thread for all the oddball analogies I find at GWOP that just don't seem to pack the punch they hoped for.
Here's a prime example from Shoshanna:
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Kate, dancing?
Like watching the Tin Man in a blond wig.
-----------------------------------------------------
Keep in mind we're now on Week 4 almost Week 5 past the last aired episode and the GWOPPERS are still gwopping.
*Note to GWOPPERS: This is another example of sarcasm.
Here's a prime example from Shoshanna:
-----------------------------------------------------
Kate, dancing?
Like watching the Tin Man in a blond wig.
-----------------------------------------------------
Keep in mind we're now on Week 4 almost Week 5 past the last aired episode and the GWOPPERS are still gwopping.
*Note to GWOPPERS: This is another example of sarcasm.
Going With What Ya Know
Here's Hailey in her comfort zone, y'all. The personification of grace and elegance.
Image source: radaronline.com
FOUND: HELL ON EARTH
------------------------------------------------
From radaronline:
"Glassman is due to take part as a referee in the celebrity boxing event on Friday, December 18, at the Philadelphia Airport Ramada where the infamous John Wayne Bobitt will take on local fighter Tony Fusco in the main event."
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From radaronline:
"Glassman is due to take part as a referee in the celebrity boxing event on Friday, December 18, at the Philadelphia Airport Ramada where the infamous John Wayne Bobitt will take on local fighter Tony Fusco in the main event."
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Sunday Funnies
This comment from an anonymous poster in the Quintessential GWOP post was just too funny to be hiding in the Quintessential GWOP thread. I chuckled and I chuckled.
Reasons You MIGHT WANT TO Be a GWOPPER poster
(moderator induced guilt not included)
Reasons You MIGHT WANT TO Be a GWOPPER poster
(moderator induced guilt not included)
- Your plasma has post-it notes after watching Jon & Kate plus 8
- Your husband finds blogger notes hightlighted in yellow
- You have CPS on speed dial
- You were voted least likely to suceed at the PTA
- The last time you read to your kids was the National Inquirer cover in the check out lane
- Your kids know not to disturb mommy when she is sitting at the computer
- You want to tell Kate to kiss your ass but the moderators won't post it
- You have spent more on your cable bill than on your kids education
- In tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Sharla do?”
- Snarkin' on Kate is your primary occupation
- Hating on hats, heels, and hair means you have nothing of importance to say
- 'I read in a tabloid' means its worth repeating
- Disappointed the show didn't have a narrative like little house on the praire
- Kate's 'downfall' is not going as you planned
- Jon is the sensitive one for having broke down to a selfish victim
- Jon is just doing whatever it takes to derail the show and ruin Kate's life/save the children
- Jon let you down, but it's time to let go. If Laura Linger can stop loving him you can to.
- concerned about oversized families who make money in questionable ways, despite the Kennedys
- sending "words of support and encouragement" to a P.O. Box in St. Louis
- Kate can't be good because you don't like her, so that means Jon is still good no matter what he does
- GWOP's resident therapist agrees that Kate dresses like a hooker
- GWOPers always "put" so many "quotation marks" in all "the" wrong places?
- I want to cradle the Gosselin kids in my arms like we did our puppy last night as the sun , but I can't.
- I'm a fucking savior, ya'll. Please shower me with compliments about my tremendous self-sacrifice
- You want to 1 up Kate skills of answering her own questions
- MAGGIE said...I personally believe this is going to be the final season for the show.....our intelligence is being insulted
- Aunt Bozo Hair and Uncle White Trash apparently paid off their mortgage recently
- Dear God, If you can make a GWOP class action lawsuit against Kate/TLC happen, I promise to never ask you for anything ever again.
- find a hate blog and announce your reasons and your turmoil
Quintessential GWOP
So of course I was eager to drop by GWOP to read what the nutcases had to say about Jon's crushing defeat in court today, but guess what? There's no mention of Jon's crushing defeat in court at GWOP. This topic must be too painful for Sharla. Perhaps it's too soon. The wound may be too raw. Sharla could very well be parked on her shrink's couch trying to work through all the anger and disappointment of today. It's just so unfair, isn't it Sharla? How much longer before one of your sockpuppets posts the Judge's e-mail address? Tick tock, babe.
Although disappointed (but not shocked) that there's no mention of this historic day in Jon Gosselin history at GWOP, I wasn't disappointed (or shocked) to stumble upon Sharla's post regarding School Bus Gate. In order to catch their school bus, apparently the kids must get up at some hour that is earlier than the rules of child advocacy allow. The post and its comments are quintessential GWOP.
I try to think of the right word for people like Sharla and her readers. "Creepy" seems to fit best. The level of scrutiny that she subjects other parents to is .... just plain creepy. Clearly something very, very bad must have happened in Sharla's own childhood and all other parents (with the possible exception of her own parents) will pay for it. Perhaps more likely, Sharla herself is a shitty parent and digging into other parents makes herself feel better. I've checked my Inbox, Sharla. Your application to gwopwop's Parenting Study still isn't in it. I don't understand the delay.
Y'all keep in mind that the show is off the air and has been for almost 3 weeks now. That's all the GWOPPERS ever wanted if we're to believe their "What We Want" statement (cough). Well, there's been no filming and no recent pictures. For all we know, the kids are now in high school and the boys are sporting full beards. So all that 'public servant' stuff that Sharla said about keeping the blog open as long as other people still wanted to talk about the Gosselins? Horse crap. What she meant was ... Sharla will keep the blog open as long as she wants to talk about the Gosselins and their so-called shitty parenting.
If concocted charges like School Bus Gate are any example, that blog ain't going anywhere anytime soon.
Oh joy.
Although disappointed (but not shocked) that there's no mention of this historic day in Jon Gosselin history at GWOP, I wasn't disappointed (or shocked) to stumble upon Sharla's post regarding School Bus Gate. In order to catch their school bus, apparently the kids must get up at some hour that is earlier than the rules of child advocacy allow. The post and its comments are quintessential GWOP.
I try to think of the right word for people like Sharla and her readers. "Creepy" seems to fit best. The level of scrutiny that she subjects other parents to is .... just plain creepy. Clearly something very, very bad must have happened in Sharla's own childhood and all other parents (with the possible exception of her own parents) will pay for it. Perhaps more likely, Sharla herself is a shitty parent and digging into other parents makes herself feel better. I've checked my Inbox, Sharla. Your application to gwopwop's Parenting Study still isn't in it. I don't understand the delay.
Y'all keep in mind that the show is off the air and has been for almost 3 weeks now. That's all the GWOPPERS ever wanted if we're to believe their "What We Want" statement (cough). Well, there's been no filming and no recent pictures. For all we know, the kids are now in high school and the boys are sporting full beards. So all that 'public servant' stuff that Sharla said about keeping the blog open as long as other people still wanted to talk about the Gosselins? Horse crap. What she meant was ... Sharla will keep the blog open as long as she wants to talk about the Gosselins and their so-called shitty parenting.
If concocted charges like School Bus Gate are any example, that blog ain't going anywhere anytime soon.
Oh joy.
TLC 1 Jon 0
Gee, I wonder what does Jon has to say about the Judge's ruling today. Oh wait.... He can't say anything about it. He lost. HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
Jon's Big Day in Court
Don't know about y'all but I cannot WAIT to hear today's courtroom events.
Should be humorous in a painfully pathetic sort of way. Oh how I wish this trial was taped/filmed. :: cries:: Doesn't it seem like we are WAY overdue for the very obvious next generation Reality TV Show --- ie., show depicting the various courtroom antics of all these Reality TV "stars". That's some Reality TV, I'd like to see.
Should be humorous in a painfully pathetic sort of way. Oh how I wish this trial was taped/filmed. :: cries:: Doesn't it seem like we are WAY overdue for the very obvious next generation Reality TV Show --- ie., show depicting the various courtroom antics of all these Reality TV "stars". That's some Reality TV, I'd like to see.
Pray Tell
What in heck is Hailey wearing on her head? To me it looks like that bag of stuff I had to pull out of the turkey's ass on Thanksgiving morning. Now I know what it's used for.
Reason #104,331 Why I Suspect that I'm Not from the Planet
Hello! The last of iwhyawli's Thanksgiving house guests are now returning to their own homes and iwhyawli can FINALLY come out of hiding. I made certain to clear our computer's browser history and cookie cache and am pleased to report that my secret identity remains secret (I think). I hope you all enjoyed a fantastic holiday.
So, I'm reading where Jon elected to go snowboarding whilst claiming he'd spend the day with grandma. Was there any reason he couldn't just respond "I'm going snowboarding with friends" when asked to tell his holiday plans? Or, how about "none of your business"? Why drag grandma into anything? Truth be told, unless it's a story reporting how Jon choked on a turkey bone, I don't really care what he did for Thanksgiving. I also don't care why Tiger Woods drove his car into a fire hydrant/tree. Some news-reporting woman on CNN yesterday stated that "we are entitled to an explanation." Oddly, I don't feel entitled to an explanation. In fact, I hope Tiger Woods never offers anyone an explanation. It's no one's business, but I'm glad to see Gloria Allred's on the scene to defend yet another undeserving damsel in distress.
Poor Jodi and Kevin just can't catch a break, can they? Gloria has just dumped them for a bigger fish. It must be somewhat hard to get anyone to take your child advocate initiative thing seriously when your lawyer is chasing after every gold-digging homewrecker in the continental USA. How in the world did Deanna-the-teacher, Katie v 2.0 , Stephanie Snuffalupagus and Hailey Glassman all manage to slip through Gloria's net?
So, I'm reading where Jon elected to go snowboarding whilst claiming he'd spend the day with grandma. Was there any reason he couldn't just respond "I'm going snowboarding with friends" when asked to tell his holiday plans? Or, how about "none of your business"? Why drag grandma into anything? Truth be told, unless it's a story reporting how Jon choked on a turkey bone, I don't really care what he did for Thanksgiving. I also don't care why Tiger Woods drove his car into a fire hydrant/tree. Some news-reporting woman on CNN yesterday stated that "we are entitled to an explanation." Oddly, I don't feel entitled to an explanation. In fact, I hope Tiger Woods never offers anyone an explanation. It's no one's business, but I'm glad to see Gloria Allred's on the scene to defend yet another undeserving damsel in distress.
Poor Jodi and Kevin just can't catch a break, can they? Gloria has just dumped them for a bigger fish. It must be somewhat hard to get anyone to take your child advocate initiative thing seriously when your lawyer is chasing after every gold-digging homewrecker in the continental USA. How in the world did Deanna-the-teacher, Katie v 2.0 , Stephanie Snuffalupagus and Hailey Glassman all manage to slip through Gloria's net?
Roll Call
Let's see ... it's been a full two days since the last episode so I took a quick check to see if GWOP and Truth Breeds Complete and Total Transparency are still open for business.
Yep. They are. No surprises there.
Sharla even plans to keep GWOP open for as long as people still want to talk about the Gosselins. Never let it be said that Sharla's not a public servant. A true world humanitarian that one. By talk, of course, she meant 'exploit' because when you continue to beat a dead horse it becomes its own form of exploitation. Yeah, if anyone exploited the Gosselin kids for their own enjoyment, it was Sharla, Julie and Jodi. But heck, when you're such a staunch child advocate as they are (cough), I suppose the boundaries of child exploitation get a little blurry. It's sorta like when the pro-lifers blow up the abortion clinics and kill everyone inside them.
I won't mention that the filming of new episodes actually stopped ages ago but then GWOP and Truth Breeds a Bunch of Jealous Little Brats in Maryland were never really about child advocacy in the first place.
As I suspected, our life happily continues here even though the show is now over. Unfortunately, Dancing with the Stars is now over too so it appears we're stuck with Monday Nite Football or whatever gory crime scene show is on the other channels. I'm even sick of "Designed to Sell." The fate of cable TV in this household is dire. Stacey, Clinton and Candace Olson are the only folks currently saving it. Okay, props to the Food Network too.
If Kate plus 8 comes back on the air, I'd like to see more "fun stuff to do at or near home with kids" episodes (like the backyard camping and Emeril cooking episode) and less luxury vacations. We don't have a dairy farm in our backyard but I did find one a few hours away that gives tours. The trip to the firestation was a good idea too. An embarassingly obvious one too.
Sorry Sharla. In preparation for 'Kate Plus 8, I've preemptively taken the blog name "Kate without Pity" out of circulation but I would be willing to sell it to you for $650,000. Cash only. I'm sure you understand my concerns about your credit.
Yep. They are. No surprises there.
Sharla even plans to keep GWOP open for as long as people still want to talk about the Gosselins. Never let it be said that Sharla's not a public servant. A true world humanitarian that one. By talk, of course, she meant 'exploit' because when you continue to beat a dead horse it becomes its own form of exploitation. Yeah, if anyone exploited the Gosselin kids for their own enjoyment, it was Sharla, Julie and Jodi. But heck, when you're such a staunch child advocate as they are (cough), I suppose the boundaries of child exploitation get a little blurry. It's sorta like when the pro-lifers blow up the abortion clinics and kill everyone inside them.
I won't mention that the filming of new episodes actually stopped ages ago but then GWOP and Truth Breeds a Bunch of Jealous Little Brats in Maryland were never really about child advocacy in the first place.
As I suspected, our life happily continues here even though the show is now over. Unfortunately, Dancing with the Stars is now over too so it appears we're stuck with Monday Nite Football or whatever gory crime scene show is on the other channels. I'm even sick of "Designed to Sell." The fate of cable TV in this household is dire. Stacey, Clinton and Candace Olson are the only folks currently saving it. Okay, props to the Food Network too.
If Kate plus 8 comes back on the air, I'd like to see more "fun stuff to do at or near home with kids" episodes (like the backyard camping and Emeril cooking episode) and less luxury vacations. We don't have a dairy farm in our backyard but I did find one a few hours away that gives tours. The trip to the firestation was a good idea too. An embarassingly obvious one too.
Sorry Sharla. In preparation for 'Kate Plus 8, I've preemptively taken the blog name "Kate without Pity" out of circulation but I would be willing to sell it to you for $650,000. Cash only. I'm sure you understand my concerns about your credit.
The Last Episode (for now)
Regarding the last episode of Jon & Kate plus 8, mkb77 conveys my thoughts so perfectly:
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Let's discuss the last episode, shall we?
Let's discuss how Jon says he never had a chance to be a 20 something without kids and a wife.
Or shall we discuss how he knows what he needs to do to be a father, and a friend to Kate AND (most importantly) how to help his relationship with Hailey.
Really, Jon? He is so self involved, so selfish and such an idiot moron that I was literally saying aloud, " You DICK."
And when he made the twins go into the house because they were spatting (and one had the audacity to say that she had more fun with mommy then daddy) I voted him as the worst dad of the year. Ugh.
------------------------
I could NOT agree more. I realize Jon was at the mercy of TLC's editing but um, it's not like TLC was clipping letters and words out of a magazine to form Jon's sentences. NO ONE EXCEPT A MORON (AND/OR ADDICT) BLAMES INNOCENT LITTLE KIDS FOR HIS ADULT ACTIONS.
It's now clear 100% clear to me that Jon was left hanging on the teet for way too long. He's void of all accountability. Surely the 'child advocates' are completely outraged at the complete and total guilt trip Jon just hung on 8 kids all under the age of 10, right? RIGHT????
Jon is a special brand of asshole the likes I've not seen since Robert Downey, Jr. RDJ also once blamed his behavior on the stresses of fatherhood and marital separation. If you recall, RDJ's "behavior" was drug addiction. Coincidence? Cough. Of course, there are big differences between RDJ and Jon. Some feel RDJ can act (eyeroll). And now that's he's sobered up, he can at least support his kid financially. Jon, on the other, has no marketable skills which is too horribly convenient since he deems himself "too famous" to work. He's not only screwed himself out of his TLC contract, he's made sure his kids won't be earning any money either.
How in the world does he plan to support those 8 kids? He doesn't (for now). He's far too buzy living out the remainder of his entitled 20's. (I had a job in my 20's, btw). Perhaps by the time Jon reaches 42 (if he lives that long), he''ll find a job that can carry him (and his kids) throughout the 30's that he missed while living out his 20's. I predict the show (sans Jon) will evenutally come back (with Jon's approval) because not having to support them himself is easier for Jon.
For now, the world will be a happier place if we can just get Jon out of the rebel t-shirts and dirty jeans. Maybe even into some pants that fit.
-------------------------------------
Let's discuss the last episode, shall we?
Let's discuss how Jon says he never had a chance to be a 20 something without kids and a wife.
Or shall we discuss how he knows what he needs to do to be a father, and a friend to Kate AND (most importantly) how to help his relationship with Hailey.
Really, Jon? He is so self involved, so selfish and such an idiot moron that I was literally saying aloud, " You DICK."
And when he made the twins go into the house because they were spatting (and one had the audacity to say that she had more fun with mommy then daddy) I voted him as the worst dad of the year. Ugh.
------------------------
I could NOT agree more. I realize Jon was at the mercy of TLC's editing but um, it's not like TLC was clipping letters and words out of a magazine to form Jon's sentences. NO ONE EXCEPT A MORON (AND/OR ADDICT) BLAMES INNOCENT LITTLE KIDS FOR HIS ADULT ACTIONS.
It's now clear 100% clear to me that Jon was left hanging on the teet for way too long. He's void of all accountability. Surely the 'child advocates' are completely outraged at the complete and total guilt trip Jon just hung on 8 kids all under the age of 10, right? RIGHT????
Jon is a special brand of asshole the likes I've not seen since Robert Downey, Jr. RDJ also once blamed his behavior on the stresses of fatherhood and marital separation. If you recall, RDJ's "behavior" was drug addiction. Coincidence? Cough. Of course, there are big differences between RDJ and Jon. Some feel RDJ can act (eyeroll). And now that's he's sobered up, he can at least support his kid financially. Jon, on the other, has no marketable skills which is too horribly convenient since he deems himself "too famous" to work. He's not only screwed himself out of his TLC contract, he's made sure his kids won't be earning any money either.
How in the world does he plan to support those 8 kids? He doesn't (for now). He's far too buzy living out the remainder of his entitled 20's. (I had a job in my 20's, btw). Perhaps by the time Jon reaches 42 (if he lives that long), he''ll find a job that can carry him (and his kids) throughout the 30's that he missed while living out his 20's. I predict the show (sans Jon) will evenutally come back (with Jon's approval) because not having to support them himself is easier for Jon.
For now, the world will be a happier place if we can just get Jon out of the rebel t-shirts and dirty jeans. Maybe even into some pants that fit.
Dana Hoffman and Unrequited Love
So I'm reading all this stuff that folks have been sending in about Dana Hoffman and then I also wandered back in time to re-read the article she wrote some Philadelphia magazine. You know the article -- it's the one which renewed Serena's will to live and woke her from the posting dead at GWOP.
It's just so very, very, very odd that some "journalist" (I'm using that word loosely, Dana, so don't get a big head) would get her panties in such a bunch about the Gosselins. I mean seriously. Who in their right mind gets all honked off about buying a 15-passenger van when you've only a 10-person family? Do they even make 10-passenger vans? Our mini-van seats 8 tops and not comfortably. If I have a 10-person family and a 10-person van, where do we put all our luggage when we drive to the Carolinas for our free beach holiday?
So strange this obsession about the 15-passenger van and Dana's long list of other Gosselin grievances, but then it occurred to me. A lightbulb went on.
Dana Hoffman is acting EXACTLY like all of Jon's other scorned lovers!
Hmmm.
Could it be that Dana Hoffman is the first in a long line of Jon Gosselin's rejects? Is Dana the reason why Jon said he was "nervous about dating a Jewish girl" ? Maybe Jon's not a bigot afterall and said that because he meant nervous about dating a Jewish girl *again*! Gasp!
There's only one thing worse than being the world's creepiest loser, and that's getting dumped by the world's creepiest loser. Oh, the bitter agony. I think I'm on to something here, y'all.
It's just so very, very, very odd that some "journalist" (I'm using that word loosely, Dana, so don't get a big head) would get her panties in such a bunch about the Gosselins. I mean seriously. Who in their right mind gets all honked off about buying a 15-passenger van when you've only a 10-person family? Do they even make 10-passenger vans? Our mini-van seats 8 tops and not comfortably. If I have a 10-person family and a 10-person van, where do we put all our luggage when we drive to the Carolinas for our free beach holiday?
So strange this obsession about the 15-passenger van and Dana's long list of other Gosselin grievances, but then it occurred to me. A lightbulb went on.
Dana Hoffman is acting EXACTLY like all of Jon's other scorned lovers!
Hmmm.
Could it be that Dana Hoffman is the first in a long line of Jon Gosselin's rejects? Is Dana the reason why Jon said he was "nervous about dating a Jewish girl" ? Maybe Jon's not a bigot afterall and said that because he meant nervous about dating a Jewish girl *again*! Gasp!
There's only one thing worse than being the world's creepiest loser, and that's getting dumped by the world's creepiest loser. Oh, the bitter agony. I think I'm on to something here, y'all.
Get Jon Gosselin STAT
As you can see by the illustration below, GWOP is in urgent need of Jon's IT Specialist skills. If I'm not mistaken, the "specialist" now stands for "web developer" (wink, wink).
Jon, I realize you're now too famous to work but after all these women have done for you and your family, surely can you help them out. For free, of course.
Jon, I realize you're now too famous to work but after all these women have done for you and your family, surely can you help them out. For free, of course.
Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Interview: Question #22
In Answer #22, we see Jon bash Kate followed by "I'm not bashing her." Oh my gawd, that's funny stuff folks. Was he drunk during this interview? I'm not going to even try to understand the stuff about Regis, the View and women's rights. Yeah, cause when I think of Regis Philbin or even Kelly Rippa, oddly enough women's rights or voting doesn't come to mind. Speaking of voting, Jon, I'd really sort of wish that you and Hailey wouldn't vote. The idea that either one of you is permitted to vote on anything other than pizza toppings is really quite disturbing. I dare say you might be the reason why this country is so messed up, Jon. Please stop voting.
-------------------------------------------------
PD: What do you mean?
JG: She goes on Regis and The View and has no idea of women's rights. She doesn't even vote, which is disgusting. How could she go on a talk show if she doesn't know what's going on in the world? She's fed lines from TLC. I'm not bashing her -- it's wake up and get on board, take this out of the court and let's settle it.
-------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------
PD: What do you mean?
JG: She goes on Regis and The View and has no idea of women's rights. She doesn't even vote, which is disgusting. How could she go on a talk show if she doesn't know what's going on in the world? She's fed lines from TLC. I'm not bashing her -- it's wake up and get on board, take this out of the court and let's settle it.
-------------------------------------------------
Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Interview: Question #21
Moving along in the ParentDish interview, Jon delivers his best impression of John "We're more Popular than God" Lennon. Hard to believe he's so horribly misreading his "popularity." One man's popularity is another man's freak show I guess. This lil' answer alone just seems to scream willful intent to breach the TLC contract but then I'm not on the jury (or am I?). I sure hope the folks at Williams & Connolly don't see this. I bet Kate is kissing herself that she didn't "wake up" otherwise she'd probably be getting sued too.
---------------------------------------
PD: Smart move.
JG: Every talk show wants us. I am the most photographed person the planet. Kate is the fifth most popular person in the world this year, and I'm the second most popular. Michael Jackson is the first. I'm like, 'Wake up, Kate.'
----------------------------------------
---------------------------------------
PD: Smart move.
JG: Every talk show wants us. I am the most photographed person the planet. Kate is the fifth most popular person in the world this year, and I'm the second most popular. Michael Jackson is the first. I'm like, 'Wake up, Kate.'
----------------------------------------
Attention: Jon and Hailey are on a break
In case you haven't heard Jon say this for the 3 trillionth time in the last week, he and Hailey are currently on a break.
A break from what is not exactly clear.
If they're not talking, tweeting or texting TO each other, they're parked in front of the papparazzi talking, tweeting and texting ABOUT each other. Neither has any apparent plans to "date" other people, get a job, tend to their families, enroll in school, get a hobby, quit smoking, or stop eating. Basically, it appears that they're taking a break from spending their time together doing absolutely nothing. They'll now continue to do absolutely nothing with their lives in separate states, unless of course Entertainment Tonite summons them to appear together on TV so that they can talk about their "break."
Jon says they're "taking some time to get their heads together." I don't mean to hurt their feelings or anything but that's not a break either. Something of that magnitude will take those two an eternity.
Later this month, of course, they'll take a break from their break by spending Thanksgiving together because during the break, Jon has no plans to make any new friends and\or spend Thanksgiving with his own Mom and siblings. As Hailey made perfectly clear, Jon is such a loser that his only Thanksgiving options are to end their break else sit alone in his Manhattan apartment doing nothing. Where's Mark Heller?
Do you suppose there's any chance that Jon and Hailey might give iwhyawli a break?
I don't think so. They don't know what a break is.
A break from what is not exactly clear.
If they're not talking, tweeting or texting TO each other, they're parked in front of the papparazzi talking, tweeting and texting ABOUT each other. Neither has any apparent plans to "date" other people, get a job, tend to their families, enroll in school, get a hobby, quit smoking, or stop eating. Basically, it appears that they're taking a break from spending their time together doing absolutely nothing. They'll now continue to do absolutely nothing with their lives in separate states, unless of course Entertainment Tonite summons them to appear together on TV so that they can talk about their "break."
Jon says they're "taking some time to get their heads together." I don't mean to hurt their feelings or anything but that's not a break either. Something of that magnitude will take those two an eternity.
Later this month, of course, they'll take a break from their break by spending Thanksgiving together because during the break, Jon has no plans to make any new friends and\or spend Thanksgiving with his own Mom and siblings. As Hailey made perfectly clear, Jon is such a loser that his only Thanksgiving options are to end their break else sit alone in his Manhattan apartment doing nothing. Where's Mark Heller?
Do you suppose there's any chance that Jon and Hailey might give iwhyawli a break?
I don't think so. They don't know what a break is.
Deep Analysis of Jon's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #20
Well friends, I wish I could say we're almost done with the analysis of Jon's interview at ParentDish, but well the guy just doesn't know when to shut up. I think there's at least 8 more questions to plow through. Ugh.
Question 20 begins a series of questions in which Jon rambles on about the papparazzi. And what a bunch of rambling it is! Rambling that's probably music to everyone's ears at Willams & Connolly, especially that stuff about "toast" and "making money for your family." This Thanksgiving I will be certain to include a shout-out for the papparazzi during grace. A world without tabloid magazines (which for Jon is the only kind of magazine there is apparently) would just be too hellish.
And I've said this before but it merits additional mention because I think the Glassman parents are getting off far too lightly: the whole thing about "Hailey and I just hung out in her parents' house for awhile" is beyond creepy to read coming from a 32-year-old male.
-------------------------------------------
PD: How are the paparazzi dealing with you these days?
JG: Hailey and I just hung out in her parents' house for awhile because of the paparazzi. But I know that if you didn't have paparazzi, there would be no magazines, no advertising, no marketing, no nothing.
If you run away from them, you're totally toast. So let them take your picture and that's it. After they get the picture then they go away. We're just like, who cares, do what you gotta do and make money for your family. I know a lot of them. I know where their parents live.
-------------------------------------------
Question 20 begins a series of questions in which Jon rambles on about the papparazzi. And what a bunch of rambling it is! Rambling that's probably music to everyone's ears at Willams & Connolly, especially that stuff about "toast" and "making money for your family." This Thanksgiving I will be certain to include a shout-out for the papparazzi during grace. A world without tabloid magazines (which for Jon is the only kind of magazine there is apparently) would just be too hellish.
And I've said this before but it merits additional mention because I think the Glassman parents are getting off far too lightly: the whole thing about "Hailey and I just hung out in her parents' house for awhile" is beyond creepy to read coming from a 32-year-old male.
-------------------------------------------
PD: How are the paparazzi dealing with you these days?
JG: Hailey and I just hung out in her parents' house for awhile because of the paparazzi. But I know that if you didn't have paparazzi, there would be no magazines, no advertising, no marketing, no nothing.
If you run away from them, you're totally toast. So let them take your picture and that's it. After they get the picture then they go away. We're just like, who cares, do what you gotta do and make money for your family. I know a lot of them. I know where their parents live.
-------------------------------------------
You Served Us Well, Miss October
It's time to say "farewell and don't let the door hit ya on the way out " to October's GWOPPER-of-the-Month. You and all your idiot friends who wrote to protest your nomination served this blog well. Why so sensy, gals? Yeesh. If you hated my pick for October's GOTM, you're *really* gonna hate November's. I'm almost askeered to post it. Mebbe y'all should wait until December before coming back to read here.
Buh-Bye
When she's not stalking
Kate Gosselin or Clay Aiken,
this GWOPPER elects to spend her retirement
on secret blogs and in GWOP chatrooms.
Scary, isn't it?
BFFs include Preesi and Sharla.
Buh-Bye
GWOPPER-of-the-Month
October 2009
---------------------------------------
October 2009
---------------------------------------
When she's not stalking
Kate Gosselin or Clay Aiken,
this GWOPPER elects to spend her retirement
on secret blogs and in GWOP chatrooms.
Scary, isn't it?
BFFs include Preesi and Sharla.
Open Discussion: 11-06 to tbd
Time for more open discussion! That's assuming you can stop laughing after you see this picture ...
source: www.usmagazine.com(also thanks to anon@11:31am)
Hailey Glassman Reveals Another Layer?
"... the gay version of Michael Lohan"
--- Hailey Glassman
Proving that one can stick her foot in her mouth even while tweeting, Hailey Glassman recently takes a painfully feeble swipe at Michael Lohan and Perez Hilton. Yes, I realize that Michael Lohan is a no-talent, media whore, but um, so is Hailey Glassman. So it's always pretty hilarious to see one no-talent, media whore (Hailey) take a dig at another no-talent, media whore (Lohan). The intended targets (Lohan and Perez) escape unscathed.
Surely by now there is some sort of Tweeting University in which no-talent, media whores can enroll (on-line, natch) in order to learn proper tweeting techniques. Hailey, get thee to tweeting school tout de tweet*.
I'm no rocket scientist but when trying to improve one's public image, it's generally not a swell idea to hurl public insults that also include references to race, creed, gender or sexual preference. Despite your ulitimate coolness, Hailey, it's just too darn easy to be mistaken for the mindless bigot that you are.
Perhaps you should re-think this idea for letting us get to know the "real" Hailey. You're uglier than I thought.
* Note to Gwoppers: This is a play on words. I could have written 'tout de suite' but it wouldn't have been nearly as funny. Plus, Hailey doesn't know French.
Kate's Story
OK, just watched Kate's Story and learned nothing too new that hadn't already been revealed or discussed. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Therein I believe we see the fundamental and important difference between "Kate's Story" and "Jon's Story" ---- consistency. You can hate Kate's hair all you want, you can dislike her parenting decisions, but you cannot deny that she's been telling a consistent story. If she's been well coached, good for her. I'm a coach (of sorts), and I know that you can not coach someone who doesn't have vision, goals or standards. Jon, on the other hand, well, yeah. Good luck with that, Shmuley. I'm sure you'll unravel all that is or isn't going on in Jon's head soon enough. But preferably by Christmas so that Hailey gets her Christmas stocking.
A long time ago, someone sent an anonymous comment here regarding the Jodi's "whisper" interview, telling me that Jon purposefully fed that lie to Jodi and Kevin out of spite, knowing full well they'd take it to the tabloids. If Blogger had a half-way decent comment feature, I'd try to go looking for that comment again to see if I posted it. For some reason, I think I chose not to post it because I thought the accusation was so outrageous. At that time in the blog's history, I was trying not to post anything unflattering about either parent unless I heard it from their very own mouths. Hearing Kate tonite identify the person (Jon) and the story that suited/ unleashed the paparazzi, I instantly recalled this comment. I now can't help but wonder if it was an accusation or another clue.
A long time ago, someone sent an anonymous comment here regarding the Jodi's "whisper" interview, telling me that Jon purposefully fed that lie to Jodi and Kevin out of spite, knowing full well they'd take it to the tabloids. If Blogger had a half-way decent comment feature, I'd try to go looking for that comment again to see if I posted it. For some reason, I think I chose not to post it because I thought the accusation was so outrageous. At that time in the blog's history, I was trying not to post anything unflattering about either parent unless I heard it from their very own mouths. Hearing Kate tonite identify the person (Jon) and the story that suited/ unleashed the paparazzi, I instantly recalled this comment. I now can't help but wonder if it was an accusation or another clue.
Kids and their Magical Powers
Well, readers, from the sounds of things, Rabbi Shmuley is making great progress with Jon*.
Let's see. Instead of showing up two hours late or not at all, Jon only kept people waiting for a half hour. Fortunately, most of them already stayed home since he allegedly said (in the 11th hour) that he wasn't going to show up and then he did. Not that I care what happens to people who pay $25 to see a guy humiliate himself but that's not the point. The point is: Jon was late. Again. Saying you'll show up at a designated time and then not showing up or showing up late is a textbook example of passive aggression. People are not habitually late by accident. They are habitually late because they are self-centered jackasses.
We also have another heartfelt* apology from Jon to Kate which this time includes his declaration of love and devotion to his mistress, Hailey Glassman, in the very same sentence. Jon is nothing if not an efficient wordsmith. And yet, neither one of them can understand why Hailey is perceived as a homewrecker. This intriques me and my only guess is that they are confusing the word "homewrecker" with "slut". If Hailey were just a slut and not a homewrecker, she'd limit her relationship with Jon to sexy time without all the Kate smacktalk that only serves to place the kids smackdab in the middle of the confusion, hard feelings and angst.
Let's assume, knock wood, Hailey and Jon do reconcile and marry after the divorce**. Even if Hailey is on the verge of discovering the cures for cancer and world hunger, she'll forever be perceived BY THE KIDS as the "step monster" who spoke smack about their mother during the unhappiest time of their lives. Every "family event" from here on out will most likely be awkward and contentious for all three adults and so the kids too. Folks, that's called "homewrecking". Contrary to The Insider's professional life coach, Star Jones, homewrecking has little to do with extramarital sex before a couple legally separates.
Finally, we have Jon taking Rabbi Shmuley's good advice to "stop dating because the kids are going through a tough time." Jon, of course, interprets this to mean that he can resume dating Hailey again in 30 days as soon as the divorce is final (and so she should just wait because 30 days isn't that long). Hailey, of course, doesn't dump Jon because its healthy for the kids: she claims to dump Jon because that's the healthy thing to do for herself. Two more selfless people the world has never known.
Thank goodness for kids and their magical powers. It's well known that they're born with immunity to most diseases and viruses but lesser known is their complete subservience to the legal calendar. On whatever date the divorce is final, the difficult time they're currently enduring will be magically over and Jon can get back to humping Hailey and rubbing Kate's face in it. The legally divorced date cannot come soon enough for Jonnie. Hailey may not have to forgo her first Christmas stocking after all and it'll be a a Merry, Merry Christmas for everyone!
Thanks Rabbi Shmuley! Good work*.
* Note to GWOPPERS: This is sarcasm.
** Iwhyawli supports this outcome since these two slobs shouldn't be permitted to screw up any more lives. And let's face, they deserve each other.
Let's see. Instead of showing up two hours late or not at all, Jon only kept people waiting for a half hour. Fortunately, most of them already stayed home since he allegedly said (in the 11th hour) that he wasn't going to show up and then he did. Not that I care what happens to people who pay $25 to see a guy humiliate himself but that's not the point. The point is: Jon was late. Again. Saying you'll show up at a designated time and then not showing up or showing up late is a textbook example of passive aggression. People are not habitually late by accident. They are habitually late because they are self-centered jackasses.
We also have another heartfelt* apology from Jon to Kate which this time includes his declaration of love and devotion to his mistress, Hailey Glassman, in the very same sentence. Jon is nothing if not an efficient wordsmith. And yet, neither one of them can understand why Hailey is perceived as a homewrecker. This intriques me and my only guess is that they are confusing the word "homewrecker" with "slut". If Hailey were just a slut and not a homewrecker, she'd limit her relationship with Jon to sexy time without all the Kate smacktalk that only serves to place the kids smackdab in the middle of the confusion, hard feelings and angst.
Let's assume, knock wood, Hailey and Jon do reconcile and marry after the divorce**. Even if Hailey is on the verge of discovering the cures for cancer and world hunger, she'll forever be perceived BY THE KIDS as the "step monster" who spoke smack about their mother during the unhappiest time of their lives. Every "family event" from here on out will most likely be awkward and contentious for all three adults and so the kids too. Folks, that's called "homewrecking". Contrary to The Insider's professional life coach, Star Jones, homewrecking has little to do with extramarital sex before a couple legally separates.
Finally, we have Jon taking Rabbi Shmuley's good advice to "stop dating because the kids are going through a tough time." Jon, of course, interprets this to mean that he can resume dating Hailey again in 30 days as soon as the divorce is final (and so she should just wait because 30 days isn't that long). Hailey, of course, doesn't dump Jon because its healthy for the kids: she claims to dump Jon because that's the healthy thing to do for herself. Two more selfless people the world has never known.
Thank goodness for kids and their magical powers. It's well known that they're born with immunity to most diseases and viruses but lesser known is their complete subservience to the legal calendar. On whatever date the divorce is final, the difficult time they're currently enduring will be magically over and Jon can get back to humping Hailey and rubbing Kate's face in it. The legally divorced date cannot come soon enough for Jonnie. Hailey may not have to forgo her first Christmas stocking after all and it'll be a a Merry, Merry Christmas for everyone!
Thanks Rabbi Shmuley! Good work*.
* Note to GWOPPERS: This is sarcasm.
** Iwhyawli supports this outcome since these two slobs shouldn't be permitted to screw up any more lives. And let's face, they deserve each other.
Oh that wikipedia makes me chuckle
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gloria_Allred
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EARLY LIFE
Allred was born in Philadelphia, on July 3, 1941 with cloven hooves and horns on her head, as well as the markings of "666" on the crown of her skull. After high school, she attended the University of Pennsylvania. There she met her first husband and married. The couple had their first child, Lisa, in 1961. Shortly afterwards, Allred and her husband divorced.
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--------------------------------------
EARLY LIFE
Allred was born in Philadelphia, on July 3, 1941 with cloven hooves and horns on her head, as well as the markings of "666" on the crown of her skull. After high school, she attended the University of Pennsylvania. There she met her first husband and married. The couple had their first child, Lisa, in 1961. Shortly afterwards, Allred and her husband divorced.
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Open Discussion: 10/31 to tbd
Good Morning and Happy Halloween. Time to start another Open Discussion thread.
Sigh, I couldn't help but wonder what costumes the Gosselin kids will wear for trick-or-treating this year.
And what scary, new thing will Jon do today?
I hear that Sharla plans to dress up as a giant 7' tall female lumberjack wearing a flannel shirt. painter's pants and carpenter boots. To keep people from asking "how come you're not wearing a costume?", she plans to shave her beard.
Sigh, I couldn't help but wonder what costumes the Gosselin kids will wear for trick-or-treating this year.
And what scary, new thing will Jon do today?
I hear that Sharla plans to dress up as a giant 7' tall female lumberjack wearing a flannel shirt. painter's pants and carpenter boots. To keep people from asking "how come you're not wearing a costume?", she plans to shave her beard.
Deep Analysis of Jon's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #19
It's Jon's word against Kate's as to whether the kids still want to film. It'll be easy enough for the custody Judge to determine which parent is putting false words in their children's mouths. Tsk. Tsk.
The thing I enjoyed most about this answer is Jon's slam against his own homeland, which apparently is a completely backwards, third-world nation run only by four-cylinder buses. Blech, guess I'll cross that country off my travel list.
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PD: How do the kids feel about it?
JG: The kids are unanimous. They don't want to film. We filmed 152 episodes. What more can you possibly still film? You want us to go to the moon? You want us to take the kids and go to Korea? Are you crazy? They don't want to be on a four-cylinder bus in Korea. They want to be home in the pool. [Editor's note: TLC says they taped a total of 112 episodes.]
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The thing I enjoyed most about this answer is Jon's slam against his own homeland, which apparently is a completely backwards, third-world nation run only by four-cylinder buses. Blech, guess I'll cross that country off my travel list.
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PD: How do the kids feel about it?
JG: The kids are unanimous. They don't want to film. We filmed 152 episodes. What more can you possibly still film? You want us to go to the moon? You want us to take the kids and go to Korea? Are you crazy? They don't want to be on a four-cylinder bus in Korea. They want to be home in the pool. [Editor's note: TLC says they taped a total of 112 episodes.]
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Hailey Glassman Interview
Several folks have asked for a thread dedicated to Hailey's upcoming 'tell-all' interview on The Insider.
Okay.
Best I can tell from the previews, Hailey is auditioning for some sort of role on a daytime TV soap opera. Her eye make-up looks just like Laura Spencer's make-up when she worked at the disco with Luke. It's also the special kind of make-up that doesn't run all over your face when you turn on the waterworks. What a coincidence!
If I have any advice for Hailey's acting coach, it would be to teach Hailey how to enunciate more clearly while fake crying and to completely lose the New Yawka axecent.
Love means never having to say you're sorry, Hailey.
Doncha know that ?
What time does this thing come on? Do I have time to run out for some tissues?
Okay.
Best I can tell from the previews, Hailey is auditioning for some sort of role on a daytime TV soap opera. Her eye make-up looks just like Laura Spencer's make-up when she worked at the disco with Luke. It's also the special kind of make-up that doesn't run all over your face when you turn on the waterworks. What a coincidence!
If I have any advice for Hailey's acting coach, it would be to teach Hailey how to enunciate more clearly while fake crying and to completely lose the New Yawka axecent.
Love means never having to say you're sorry, Hailey.
Doncha know that ?
What time does this thing come on? Do I have time to run out for some tissues?
Deep Analysis of Jon's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #18
Hopefully by now, someone with some basic legal expertise has explained to Jon that he's not being sued for talking his kids off the air. He is being sued for willfully breaching the terms of his TLC contract, which he everso wisely seems to admit in his answer to Question #18.
I also didn't think Jon used enough cliches in this answer. "Stepping up to the plate" and "God is on my side" is always good but there's nothing like "taking one for the Gipper", "come hell or high water", "Tomorrow is another day", or "Attica! Attica! Attica!" to really hammer home the point (or lack thereof).
And lemme just tell ya: when you're up against Williams & Connelly, you'll need God on your side. I've long wondered whether God has a special soft spot for pot-smoking, married daddies with multiple girlfriends (plural). Twill be a fun trial. I'm gonna pray it's televised.
Question #18:
------------------------------------
PD: Some people would say you should've thought of that a long time ago.
JG: I always wanted to take the kids off the air but we would've been breaching the contract. I couldn't say that on the air because we would've been sued. They tried to fire me before I fired them. I'm stepping up to the plate. Whatever they want to do to me. Sue me. Send me to jail. I'm taking my kids off the air. What judge will say, 'Okay, your kids must be on film'? I know how it works. I'm not afraid of TLC now. God is on my side. TLC would say, 'You can't say this,' and now I'm just unleashing it.
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I also didn't think Jon used enough cliches in this answer. "Stepping up to the plate" and "God is on my side" is always good but there's nothing like "taking one for the Gipper", "come hell or high water", "Tomorrow is another day", or "Attica! Attica! Attica!" to really hammer home the point (or lack thereof).
And lemme just tell ya: when you're up against Williams & Connelly, you'll need God on your side. I've long wondered whether God has a special soft spot for pot-smoking, married daddies with multiple girlfriends (plural). Twill be a fun trial. I'm gonna pray it's televised.
Question #18:
------------------------------------
PD: Some people would say you should've thought of that a long time ago.
JG: I always wanted to take the kids off the air but we would've been breaching the contract. I couldn't say that on the air because we would've been sued. They tried to fire me before I fired them. I'm stepping up to the plate. Whatever they want to do to me. Sue me. Send me to jail. I'm taking my kids off the air. What judge will say, 'Okay, your kids must be on film'? I know how it works. I'm not afraid of TLC now. God is on my side. TLC would say, 'You can't say this,' and now I'm just unleashing it.
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GWOP Theatre: ACT IV
"Jesse Jackson Couldn't Make It"
by iwhyawli
by iwhyawli
For crap's sake, Jodi.
Isn't the damn show over?
We are now thankfulfor the Balloon Boy family.
[giggle]
Hi !
Are the Gosselin kids damaged?
Don't answer that!
The kids didn't skip a beat.
So the show wasn't harmful?
Don't answer that one either!
Is Kate a[whisper]cheater[whisper]?
Stop that.Ain't this is a Hoot?
So I'm watching the blithering Kreiders on Early Show today. Who would have thunk it? They're the only two folks left who continue to "exploit" the Gosselins kids! Ka-ching! Ka-ching!
I'm all for Jodi and Kevin and their on-going interviews. Sooner or later, one of these bonehead "journalists" will have the cojones to ask Jodi exactly how she squares giving that radaronline interview in which she publicly "whispers" that Kate is an adulteress. Maybe Gloria Alred can answer that question on Jodi's behalf. I hear she's lovely to work with. Maybe ol' Glor can also explain how the Kreider's giant lump-sum mortgage payment immediately following those radaronline interviews isn't "child exploitation" but everything everybody else does is.
I roll my eyes at Jodi and Kevin's attempt to tie everything to the Balloon Boy saga. It's a good thing Mr. Balloon Boy wasn't just trying to sell his Balloon invention or call attention to global warming. Good thing he didn't do what he did because he's just plain nuts. Cause something like that would really throw a kink in Jodi's master plan to plant her mug on every TV show she can. As we all know, parents only "exploit" their kids when they're trying to get on a Reality TV show. (eyeroll).
Yes, Reality TV is the root of all evil. If Reality TV didn't exist, we would never see parents exploit their kids. We would have no child prostitution. The sweat shops in Thailand? They'd be closed. Welfare parents wouldn't spend their checks on cigarettes, booze, drugs and lottery tickets. No parent (especially not saints like the Kreiders) would ever tell their kids age to lie about their ages for cheaper fares at Disney World. We'd never see parents exploiting their parenthood to weasel out of overtime or working weekends. And when mom's and dad's cancel out of going over to Auntie Julie's house for pumpkin carving, it'll only be because their kids really truly are sick (cough, cough).
I shouldn't say this out loud because I do know Jodi reads here, but I sure hope none of those Gosselin kids want to become an Olympian. All those little Michael Phelps' and Tonya Hardings of tomorrow aren't even paid for practicing everyday, all day since age 3. Talk about a stolen childhood! If Jodi gets wind of that Olympics con, there will be complete hell to pay. It could mean the end of the Olympics as we know it.
But maybe as long as the Kreider kids don't show any interest in the Olympics or get themselves booted off an Olympic team, we're safe. Fortunately, they don't seem very athletic. Or all that healthy.
It must be all the gum.
I'm all for Jodi and Kevin and their on-going interviews. Sooner or later, one of these bonehead "journalists" will have the cojones to ask Jodi exactly how she squares giving that radaronline interview in which she publicly "whispers" that Kate is an adulteress. Maybe Gloria Alred can answer that question on Jodi's behalf. I hear she's lovely to work with. Maybe ol' Glor can also explain how the Kreider's giant lump-sum mortgage payment immediately following those radaronline interviews isn't "child exploitation" but everything everybody else does is.
I roll my eyes at Jodi and Kevin's attempt to tie everything to the Balloon Boy saga. It's a good thing Mr. Balloon Boy wasn't just trying to sell his Balloon invention or call attention to global warming. Good thing he didn't do what he did because he's just plain nuts. Cause something like that would really throw a kink in Jodi's master plan to plant her mug on every TV show she can. As we all know, parents only "exploit" their kids when they're trying to get on a Reality TV show. (eyeroll).
Yes, Reality TV is the root of all evil. If Reality TV didn't exist, we would never see parents exploit their kids. We would have no child prostitution. The sweat shops in Thailand? They'd be closed. Welfare parents wouldn't spend their checks on cigarettes, booze, drugs and lottery tickets. No parent (especially not saints like the Kreiders) would ever tell their kids age to lie about their ages for cheaper fares at Disney World. We'd never see parents exploiting their parenthood to weasel out of overtime or working weekends. And when mom's and dad's cancel out of going over to Auntie Julie's house for pumpkin carving, it'll only be because their kids really truly are sick (cough, cough).
I shouldn't say this out loud because I do know Jodi reads here, but I sure hope none of those Gosselin kids want to become an Olympian. All those little Michael Phelps' and Tonya Hardings of tomorrow aren't even paid for practicing everyday, all day since age 3. Talk about a stolen childhood! If Jodi gets wind of that Olympics con, there will be complete hell to pay. It could mean the end of the Olympics as we know it.
But maybe as long as the Kreider kids don't show any interest in the Olympics or get themselves booted off an Olympic team, we're safe. Fortunately, they don't seem very athletic. Or all that healthy.
It must be all the gum.
Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #17
Jon's answer to question #17 earned a real-deal chortle when I read "they locked in a contract" as if Jon wasn't present in the room when he signed it. Sure, I realize he may have been higher than a kite at the time but can he really blame anyone else?
If we trust Jon's figures (which I don't), $1250 x 112 = $140,000 per year. For a 6-year-old, that ain't bad coin. For a 32 year-old man, that's not bad coin either and most likely far more than he was making previously. If it weren't, why he would quit his "real" job (except that Jon's mortally stupid.)
Why am I not surprised that Jon's expertise isn't math or tax law?
As to sacrificing privacy, I'm not sure what privacy the kids sacrificed. But when "privacy" otherwise means unfettered opportunities to boink the babysitter, smoke pot and not do jack-squat around the house, yeah, $ 1,250 per episode is probably not enough.
Question 17:
------------------------------------------------------
PD: How much of that do you see?
JG: $25,000 per episode. It's awfully low. They locked in a contract and we're in the 50 percent tax bracket, so it's $12,500, so each of us gets $1,250 per episode. People think I make $75,000, $100,000 per episode. My kids sacrifice their privacy for this?
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If we trust Jon's figures (which I don't), $1250 x 112 = $140,000 per year. For a 6-year-old, that ain't bad coin. For a 32 year-old man, that's not bad coin either and most likely far more than he was making previously. If it weren't, why he would quit his "real" job (except that Jon's mortally stupid.)
Why am I not surprised that Jon's expertise isn't math or tax law?
As to sacrificing privacy, I'm not sure what privacy the kids sacrificed. But when "privacy" otherwise means unfettered opportunities to boink the babysitter, smoke pot and not do jack-squat around the house, yeah, $ 1,250 per episode is probably not enough.
Question 17:
------------------------------------------------------
PD: How much of that do you see?
JG: $25,000 per episode. It's awfully low. They locked in a contract and we're in the 50 percent tax bracket, so it's $12,500, so each of us gets $1,250 per episode. People think I make $75,000, $100,000 per episode. My kids sacrifice their privacy for this?
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Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #14, #15 & #16
I'd like to say we're almost near the end of the Parentdish interview but seriously, the thing never ends.
Peppered throughout his responses to questions 14 through 16, we see several more examples of Jon taking "the high road", which I'm now convinced he defines to mean "taking the road while high." Does Jon also now regret his answer regarding the missing $230K? Yeah, of course, he does.
I haven't read yet where that money has been returned. The deadline is tomorrow, right? I'm guessing he won't do it thereby forcing Kate to decide whether the father of her children goes jail. If it were me, he'd be going to jail.
Questions 14 - 16:
--------------------------------
PD: That's so sweet.
JG: Yeah, I'm not used to that. It's totally different than it was with Kate.
PD: What do you mean?
JG: I look at Kate and say, 'What are you doing? Why are you airing our dirty laundry?
PD: Why do you think she's talking publicly?
JG: She hired an attorney that says I stole $230,000 and it's so not true and I can prove it. Who is she proving this to? No one cares. You look like the biggest ass somehow. She's throwing me under the bus. Her and TLC. They don't like me because I want to pull my kids off TV. They made $186 million last quarter, $143 million of that from Jon & Kate Plus 8. [Editor's note: A TLC spokesperson declined to verify the numbers to ParentDish.]
--------------------------------
Peppered throughout his responses to questions 14 through 16, we see several more examples of Jon taking "the high road", which I'm now convinced he defines to mean "taking the road while high." Does Jon also now regret his answer regarding the missing $230K? Yeah, of course, he does.
I haven't read yet where that money has been returned. The deadline is tomorrow, right? I'm guessing he won't do it thereby forcing Kate to decide whether the father of her children goes jail. If it were me, he'd be going to jail.
Questions 14 - 16:
--------------------------------
PD: That's so sweet.
JG: Yeah, I'm not used to that. It's totally different than it was with Kate.
PD: What do you mean?
JG: I look at Kate and say, 'What are you doing? Why are you airing our dirty laundry?
PD: Why do you think she's talking publicly?
JG: She hired an attorney that says I stole $230,000 and it's so not true and I can prove it. Who is she proving this to? No one cares. You look like the biggest ass somehow. She's throwing me under the bus. Her and TLC. They don't like me because I want to pull my kids off TV. They made $186 million last quarter, $143 million of that from Jon & Kate Plus 8. [Editor's note: A TLC spokesperson declined to verify the numbers to ParentDish.]
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The lastest Poll Results are In
What did Hailey Glassman get the twins for their birthday?
Judging by our scientific polling here at gwopwop, it looks like a gwhopping 53% of the everyone in the world believes Hailey Glassman would have been most likely to purchase a matching set of Hello Kitty bongs for the twins as their birthday gift.
Now that is an impressive assessment of a someone's character if I ever saw one. When the world is forced to think of Hailey, they think of a woman who would give drug paraphernalia to children as a birthday gift. That's so cute! Congratulations, Hailey. Clearly your work as a contributing member of society is already done.
15% believe she'd deliver the kids' bunny rabbit in a pot of boiling water. Maybe that'll be next year's gift when Jon converts to whatever religion his next girlfriend is.
14% were certain Hailey would give the girls her used underwear.
10% guessed Hailey would dig deep into the piggy bank and give them free Ed Hardy crap.
Just 5% said Hailey is the type of person who would sink to defacing pictures of Kate.
Judging by our scientific polling here at gwopwop, it looks like a gwhopping 53% of the everyone in the world believes Hailey Glassman would have been most likely to purchase a matching set of Hello Kitty bongs for the twins as their birthday gift.
Now that is an impressive assessment of a someone's character if I ever saw one. When the world is forced to think of Hailey, they think of a woman who would give drug paraphernalia to children as a birthday gift. That's so cute! Congratulations, Hailey. Clearly your work as a contributing member of society is already done.
15% believe she'd deliver the kids' bunny rabbit in a pot of boiling water. Maybe that'll be next year's gift when Jon converts to whatever religion his next girlfriend is.
14% were certain Hailey would give the girls her used underwear.
10% guessed Hailey would dig deep into the piggy bank and give them free Ed Hardy crap.
Just 5% said Hailey is the type of person who would sink to defacing pictures of Kate.
Open Discussion: 10/22 to until the front page fills up :)
Time for another open discussion thread! The last one already fell to page two because I have been feeling talkative.
Hope you are well.
Hope you are well.
Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #12 & #13
Oy vey! All these tangents about meddling and witchhunts and I've nearly forgotten about Jon's imminent conversion to Judaism. Switching over for challah bread is probably as good a reason as any other, what the heck. Wait till he tries a corned beef sandwhich or pickled herring. Yum!
I am not even going to try and understand why Jon would be nervous about dating a Jewish girl. Clearly Jon is guided by a giant set of stereotypes.
The rambling on and on about light traffic on Yom Kippur was far too humourous. Poor Jon just doesn't know when to shut up, does he? Invite Mom back for Christmas too, Jon. They'll all be in Miami.
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PD: That sounds fun. Tell me more about your interest in Judaism.
JG: I just went through Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur and learned about the new year and every Friday is the Shabbat dinner. I love challah bread. I'm learning about Jewish food, going to Zabar's. I love that place. I'm learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg and cheese and make an ass of myself. Hailey makes fun of me. My mom came to the city on Yom Kippur and asked where all the traffic was. I got from the West Side to Midtown in five minutes. She wants to come to the city every year on Yom Kippur.
PD: Are we going to see you converting to Judaism?
JG: I talked to Rabbi Shmuley a couple of times. He has nine kids. I was really nervous dating a Jewish girl. She's like the best girl ever. All my friends are like 'I'm so jealous' and I'm like, 'Stay away, she's mine.' She's the rock of my life. She's been through hell in the tabloids. They made up lies that she's a lesbian and she's doing drugs. We've both been through all this turmoil. And we just keep on loving each other.
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I am not even going to try and understand why Jon would be nervous about dating a Jewish girl. Clearly Jon is guided by a giant set of stereotypes.
The rambling on and on about light traffic on Yom Kippur was far too humourous. Poor Jon just doesn't know when to shut up, does he? Invite Mom back for Christmas too, Jon. They'll all be in Miami.
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PD: That sounds fun. Tell me more about your interest in Judaism.
JG: I just went through Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur and learned about the new year and every Friday is the Shabbat dinner. I love challah bread. I'm learning about Jewish food, going to Zabar's. I love that place. I'm learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg and cheese and make an ass of myself. Hailey makes fun of me. My mom came to the city on Yom Kippur and asked where all the traffic was. I got from the West Side to Midtown in five minutes. She wants to come to the city every year on Yom Kippur.
PD: Are we going to see you converting to Judaism?
JG: I talked to Rabbi Shmuley a couple of times. He has nine kids. I was really nervous dating a Jewish girl. She's like the best girl ever. All my friends are like 'I'm so jealous' and I'm like, 'Stay away, she's mine.' She's the rock of my life. She's been through hell in the tabloids. They made up lies that she's a lesbian and she's doing drugs. We've both been through all this turmoil. And we just keep on loving each other.
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The Meddling Epidemic
What is going on here? We have officially entered a new age of American witchhunts. It's downright distressing.
Yesterday at cnn.com, we have Star Jones weighing (pardon the pun) in on Gosselin matters. Today at radaronline, we have a video interview by some "client" of Mrs Balloon Boy who felt it necessary to get herself all gussied up and let the world know that the Balloon Boy family is /was homeless and living in squalor.
Star Jones? You have got to be kidding me. That woman was never relevant and correct me if I'm wrong but isn't she now selling carpet cleaner on QVC? She's her own laughingstock and yet she has the unmitigated balls to render a really ugly opinion about someone else on topics she knows zero about. Who exactly does she think is listening to her?
The client of Mrs Balloon Boy is even funnier. She's talks to us so very serious like as if she's being nterviewed by 60 minutes on grave national security matters. You.cannot.help.but.feel.that.every.word.she.is.speaking.must.be.so.very.important. If she had only practiced a few more times, I would probably not have been able to detect her total glee in getting paid to blab about a family's most private vulnerabilities. Wow, what a rush that must be ! To be the first person to completely screw a struggling family over!
How do we stop this?
Yesterday at cnn.com, we have Star Jones weighing (pardon the pun) in on Gosselin matters. Today at radaronline, we have a video interview by some "client" of Mrs Balloon Boy who felt it necessary to get herself all gussied up and let the world know that the Balloon Boy family is /was homeless and living in squalor.
Star Jones? You have got to be kidding me. That woman was never relevant and correct me if I'm wrong but isn't she now selling carpet cleaner on QVC? She's her own laughingstock and yet she has the unmitigated balls to render a really ugly opinion about someone else on topics she knows zero about. Who exactly does she think is listening to her?
The client of Mrs Balloon Boy is even funnier. She's talks to us so very serious like as if she's being nterviewed by 60 minutes on grave national security matters. You.cannot.help.but.feel.that.every.word.she.is.speaking.must.be.so.very.important. If she had only practiced a few more times, I would probably not have been able to detect her total glee in getting paid to blab about a family's most private vulnerabilities. Wow, what a rush that must be ! To be the first person to completely screw a struggling family over!
How do we stop this?
Sharla and Julie's Agony
Poor Sharla. She just can't decide whether she's "snark" or "child advocate".
Today at GWOP, we have a new post titled "New Post by Julie." Now the original post was titled "New post by Aunt Julie" but then someone (probably a gwoppwopper) pointed out that not even Jodi is a blood relative which makes Julie nothing more than some raving luney-tune in Columbia, Maryland who has no inside information whatsoever. The post title has since been corrected and the comments correcting Sharla have never been posted, of course. But Google Reader tells all.
I'm not sure I can bear to read "Aunt Julie's" new post. I'll bet my lunch money that she makes some sort of reference to the whacky Balloon Boy family. Reality TV is to blame. She now plans to crucify anyone for even *wanting* to put their kids on a Reality TV show. If Julie has her way, it won't be long before Julie is deciding who gets to have any children at all.
I'm officially renaming Julie "Herr Aunt Julie".
Has it been a year since Herr Aunt Julie deleted all her original blog posts? You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones which reveal the real reasons for her crusade to destroy Jon & Kate Gosselin. It's all because lil' baby sis Jodi (aka., Saint Aunt Jodi) done got herself booted off the show for wanting more money. Actually, Herr Aunt Julie's hatred for Kate dates all the way back to well before the twins. If we are to believe the folks who fill my email inbox, Herr Aunt Julie and Saint Aunt Jodi have been stewing in a pot of contempt for Jon & Kate since the absolute very beginning.
Today at GWOP, we have a new post titled "New Post by Julie." Now the original post was titled "New post by Aunt Julie" but then someone (probably a gwoppwopper) pointed out that not even Jodi is a blood relative which makes Julie nothing more than some raving luney-tune in Columbia, Maryland who has no inside information whatsoever. The post title has since been corrected and the comments correcting Sharla have never been posted, of course. But Google Reader tells all.
I'm not sure I can bear to read "Aunt Julie's" new post. I'll bet my lunch money that she makes some sort of reference to the whacky Balloon Boy family. Reality TV is to blame. She now plans to crucify anyone for even *wanting* to put their kids on a Reality TV show. If Julie has her way, it won't be long before Julie is deciding who gets to have any children at all.
I'm officially renaming Julie "Herr Aunt Julie".
Has it been a year since Herr Aunt Julie deleted all her original blog posts? You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones which reveal the real reasons for her crusade to destroy Jon & Kate Gosselin. It's all because lil' baby sis Jodi (aka., Saint Aunt Jodi) done got herself booted off the show for wanting more money. Actually, Herr Aunt Julie's hatred for Kate dates all the way back to well before the twins. If we are to believe the folks who fill my email inbox, Herr Aunt Julie and Saint Aunt Jodi have been stewing in a pot of contempt for Jon & Kate since the absolute very beginning.
A little weird.
To put this all in perspective. Let's say my name is Kate and that I have a brother named Kevin , who is married to someone named Jodi . We all live in the same neighborhood.
Given this hypothetical, how often do you suppose that I see Kevin and/or Jodi?
Major holidays for sure , but let's say it's at least once a week. Okay, let's say even three times a week. Everyday would be more than a little weird to me personally but whatever, let's say I am "lucky" enough to see Jodi every day of the week.
Adding to the hypothetical. Let's say my brother's wife has siblings. Let's say one of my brother's wife's siblings is named Julie. Julie lives 200 miles away.
Sure , I've probably met all of brother's wife's siblings at least once. Maybe I see some of my brother's wife's siblings when it's my brother and his wife 's turn to host a major holiday like Christmas. But sometimes, my brother's wife's siblings have to spend holidays with their own in-laws and\or I have to spend Christmas with my husband's family. As we all know, once you or siblings start getting married, holidays like Christmas are never quite the same. Some one is always missing at the table.
I probably know the first names of my brother's wife's siblings. I probably do NOT know stuff like their birthdays, decorating tastes, favorite foods, what car they drive, what they do for a living, etc., etc. In some cases, I might not even know the surnames of my brother's wife's sisters who are married. Any conversations I've ever with my brother's wife's siblings most likely amount to nothing more than the exchange of small pleasantries (aka., chit chat) regarding recently seen movies, football or major new events.
So, how often do you I suppose that I see my brother's wife's siblings? Especially the ones who have their own families and are living over 200 miles away? It can't be that often. In my real world, it's once every other year, if that.
So my point is. How does Herr Aunt Julie living over 200 miles away come to have all this deep-seated hatred and jealousy for Jon & Kate? Who is feeding Julie all these awful truths that breed such hatred. Oh sure, part of the problem is Herr Aunt Julie's own insecurities, but *WHO* is pouring gas on the fire?
I'll give your three guesses and it rhymes with Paint Lodi.
Destroying the Gosselin family has proven to be a lucrative exercise for Paint Lodi and Luncle Bevin. We have evidence of giant lump-sum mortgage payments to prove it. For Julie, however, not so much and so the meddling continues.
Will someone please pay Julie for an interview so we can all move on with our lives?
Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #9, 10 & 11
Hope you won't mind if I consolidate all the hard-hitting questions regarding Jon's holiday plans, or pathetic lack thereof. I was anxious to get to Jon's thoughtful revelations regarding Jewish people, which of course is the best part of this whole interview fiasco.
Question 9, 10 and 11 delivers the news that a) Kate's lawyers have pretty much screwed Jon out of all major holidays, b) Jon's is as lazy as he ever was and well on his way to now leaving everything for Hailey to do, and c) Jon will require some serious trial prep since he simply is incapable of limiting his answer to the question asked.
Whoops! How could I forget. Jon is now half Jewish and half Korean. Yuk, yuk, yuk.
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PD: Let's try a happy topic. What are your plans for Halloween and Thanksgiving with the kids?
JG: Thanksgiving is tough. Kate has custody on Thanksgiving, but I will stop by to see my kids.
halloween I don't have custody. Hailey handles my schedule. It's kinda weird, but I can confide in her. She's my best friend. I lost a lot of friends; people burned me left and right.
PD: And Christmas?
JG: Christmas, yeah. This is the first year I will celebrate Chanukah. Hailey is Jewish. Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I'm now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great. On Christmas, I'll see my kids during the day for a couple of hours.
PD: Then what?
JG: Hailey is so excited because we're going to go ornament shopping and I'll buy her a stocking. News Year's Eve I'll be in Vegas hosting Las Vegas Live with Eva Longoria.
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Oh man, I feel like I have mountains to say on this one. Damn my job!
Question 9, 10 and 11 delivers the news that a) Kate's lawyers have pretty much screwed Jon out of all major holidays, b) Jon's is as lazy as he ever was and well on his way to now leaving everything for Hailey to do, and c) Jon will require some serious trial prep since he simply is incapable of limiting his answer to the question asked.
Whoops! How could I forget. Jon is now half Jewish and half Korean. Yuk, yuk, yuk.
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PD: Let's try a happy topic. What are your plans for Halloween and Thanksgiving with the kids?
JG: Thanksgiving is tough. Kate has custody on Thanksgiving, but I will stop by to see my kids.
halloween I don't have custody. Hailey handles my schedule. It's kinda weird, but I can confide in her. She's my best friend. I lost a lot of friends; people burned me left and right.
PD: And Christmas?
JG: Christmas, yeah. This is the first year I will celebrate Chanukah. Hailey is Jewish. Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I'm now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great. On Christmas, I'll see my kids during the day for a couple of hours.
PD: Then what?
JG: Hailey is so excited because we're going to go ornament shopping and I'll buy her a stocking. News Year's Eve I'll be in Vegas hosting Las Vegas Live with Eva Longoria.
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Oh man, I feel like I have mountains to say on this one. Damn my job!
Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #8
Question 8 fundamentally reveals the reason why I think Jon should be shot and it has nothing to do with his other well-known douche-baggery: talking on a cell phone in a restaurant.
- Rude to other restaurant patrons.
- Rude to the person you're talking to.
- Just plain unnecessary.
If the One Bullet Theory is ever put into play, I'm pretty certain I will immediately use my bullet on someone who is yapping into their cell phone (in a restaurant, on the train\plane, while driving, while crossing the street, in the cashier line at the grocery store, etc.)
People: The use of cells phones in public areas is meant for emergencies only. If I'm not hearing words like "cardiac arrest" during your conversation, I don't need to (or want to) hear your f-ng telephone conversation.
GWOPWOP PROCLAMATION #2: ONLY TRAILER TRASH YAPS ON THEIR CELL PHONE WHILE IN PUBLIC PLACES!
But I digress. Here's Jon's bizarro answer to Question #8, proving that he can turn any question into a discussion of his greatness. BTW, the population of Pennsylvania is 12.48 million as of the last census.
Question 8:
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PD: Where are you right now? I hear loud music in the background.
JG: In Philadelphia in a restaurant. There are 65 paparazzi following me in Reading so I don't stay there. Our Nielsons [ratings] are 11 million. That's like the population of Pennsylvania.
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Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #7
Question #7 reveals Jon's deep delusional psychosis. The guy is cuckoo.
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PD: That must be difficult after all the negative attention coming your way.
JG: I never said anything demeaning about Kate, just that once on Good Morning America about a month ago or so, I lose track of time. I said I despised her; maybe I despised the things she does. That was the first interview in 4 ½ years by myself.
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PD: That must be difficult after all the negative attention coming your way.
JG: I never said anything demeaning about Kate, just that once on Good Morning America about a month ago or so, I lose track of time. I said I despised her; maybe I despised the things she does. That was the first interview in 4 ½ years by myself.
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Open Discussion: 10/16 to tbd
Ruh-roh! Among the many things to discuss in our new Open Discussion thread is Jon's latest legal troubles. Mark Heller against the litigators at Williams & Connolly will be tres humorous. Oh to be in the courtroom.
My advice to Jon: surrender.
My advice to Jon: surrender.
Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #6
John's response to Question #6 evoked an audible laugh out loud from iwhyawli. I've been waiting a long 6 days to comment on this one.
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PD: Where are you living these days?
JG: I feel like I'm nomadic. I'm in New York, Reading [Pennsylvania], L.A. I have an apartment in New York, on the West Side, that Hailey stays in. I could sleep in my apartment on my 8,000-square-foot property, but that would make Kate uncomfortable. I take the high road.
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PD: Where are you living these days?
JG: I feel like I'm nomadic. I'm in New York, Reading [Pennsylvania], L.A. I have an apartment in New York, on the West Side, that Hailey stays in. I could sleep in my apartment on my 8,000-square-foot property, but that would make Kate uncomfortable. I take the high road.
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Missing
I can't find a single main pain post at GWOP regarding Jon stealing the $180,000 money or having been ordered to return it.
Is Blogger having problems?
Is Blogger having problems?
Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #5
Here's Question #5. It's another one of those that causes me to wonder if a website called 'parentdish' is legitimate. Why is she/he even asking this question? Why would anyone leave alone other parents care how well (or poorly) the mistress is adjusting? Silly me. I just sort of imagined that being the mistress to a father of 8 could be a tad stressful. Poor thing.
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PD: How is Hailey adjusting?
JG: I apologized to Hailey that I shouldn't have been hanging out with anyone else. I love her to death and she could've walked away.
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PD: How is Hailey adjusting?
JG: I apologized to Hailey that I shouldn't have been hanging out with anyone else. I love her to death and she could've walked away.
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Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #4
Here's Question #4 and Jon's response. We are reminded that the Glassmans are so nice. Good to know Hailey thinks the divorce is funny. I mean, hello? It's funny, y'all.
__________________________
PD: Are you two going to get married?
JG: We don't talk about getting married. She's seen how messy my divorce has been and she says it makes her not want to get married. She laughs about it. It's so different than it was with Kate. It's so comfortable with Hailey and her family. They are so nice. They gave Kate a free tummy tuck, worth $20 grand. I mean, hello? It's free surgery.
_________________________
__________________________
PD: Are you two going to get married?
JG: We don't talk about getting married. She's seen how messy my divorce has been and she says it makes her not want to get married. She laughs about it. It's so different than it was with Kate. It's so comfortable with Hailey and her family. They are so nice. They gave Kate a free tummy tuck, worth $20 grand. I mean, hello? It's free surgery.
_________________________
Jon needs a GWOP PO Box STAT
Fork it over, Jon! $180,000 by Oct 26th! Please don't mistake my tone or excessive use of exclamation marks for glee. I am positively bereft to hear today's arbitration order and I pray you're not too "embarassed" or anything. (eyeroll)
I'm not sure how tough it might be for the world's second most popular guy after Michael Jackson to scrape 180K together in a two week period, but I've heard a rumour that the Gwoppers are opening up another PO Box for you. Between what they collect and the sale of the Jon and Hailey sex tape, you may only need $179,983 more. You can always return Mady's laptop and cancel Cara's ATV. Ebay is another great way to generate some quick cash. Last but not least, I'm sure Papa Glassman can refer you to a good banker.
I'm not sure how tough it might be for the world's second most popular guy after Michael Jackson to scrape 180K together in a two week period, but I've heard a rumour that the Gwoppers are opening up another PO Box for you. Between what they collect and the sale of the Jon and Hailey sex tape, you may only need $179,983 more. You can always return Mady's laptop and cancel Cara's ATV. Ebay is another great way to generate some quick cash. Last but not least, I'm sure Papa Glassman can refer you to a good banker.
Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #3
Time for Question #3, which is one of my favorite answers. I didn't think it would be possible to say so much about oneself in just 39 words. First of all, I see now why Jon has such a hard time keeping it in his pants.
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PD: What's with you and family friend Hailey Glassman?
JG: Me and Hailey are still together. It was hard for her in the beginning. We are going to stay together. She talks to people. She's so friendly. She just goes up to people and says, 'I love your shoes.'
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PD: What's with you and family friend Hailey Glassman?
JG: Me and Hailey are still together. It was hard for her in the beginning. We are going to stay together. She talks to people. She's so friendly. She just goes up to people and says, 'I love your shoes.'
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Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #2
It's Question #2 that somewhat raises iwhyawli's bs-attenna. I dunno, the question seems a tad too innocent/staged, as in "Bad Moves, Jon? Whatever could you be talking about? "
:: whistling innocently ::
Question 2:
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PD: Why? What did you do that you consider bad moves.
JG: Meeting Kate Major [former reporter for Star magazine] and Stephanie [Santoro], the nanny. Those were two things.
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:: whistling innocently ::
Question 2:
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PD: Why? What did you do that you consider bad moves.
JG: Meeting Kate Major [former reporter for Star magazine] and Stephanie [Santoro], the nanny. Those were two things.
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Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #1
As per usual, the readers of gwopwop have far better ideas than I.
Welcome.
Today marks the start of a new feature here where sort of like Oprah's Book Club, we begin the paragraph-by-paragraph analysis of Jon Gosslin's recent interview with the fine folks at parentdish.com.
Jon's responses during this interview are so outrageous that I'm still not convinced this interview isn't a spoof. Let it never be said that iwhyawli doesn't always try to give Jon the benefit of the doubt. It's much easier for my own sanity to believe this interview is some sort of parody than comments any human other than Adolph Hitler actually made.
Here's Question #1 of the interview:
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ParentDish: So, what's going on?
Jon Gosselin: I'm just trying to be as cordial as possible. I messed up at the beginning and now I want to be a nice guy, make better decisions and do the right thing.
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Let's Discuss.
Welcome.
Today marks the start of a new feature here where sort of like Oprah's Book Club, we begin the paragraph-by-paragraph analysis of Jon Gosslin's recent interview with the fine folks at parentdish.com.
Jon's responses during this interview are so outrageous that I'm still not convinced this interview isn't a spoof. Let it never be said that iwhyawli doesn't always try to give Jon the benefit of the doubt. It's much easier for my own sanity to believe this interview is some sort of parody than comments any human other than Adolph Hitler actually made.
Here's Question #1 of the interview:
-------
ParentDish: So, what's going on?
Jon Gosselin: I'm just trying to be as cordial as possible. I messed up at the beginning and now I want to be a nice guy, make better decisions and do the right thing.
-------
Let's Discuss.
Jon at Parentdish
This interview with Jon Gosselin at parentdish.com is so stunning in its ....... [fill in word ].... that I had to re-post it on the main page. The right words escape me.... heck, there may not be any single wordto accurately describes all that's going on in this chat. Kate may have married a real-deal moron. Previously, I was willing to give Jon the benefit of the doubt that he was just greedy, had a drug problem or something..... but now I suspect he truly is slow (low IQ ).
Anyhoo, I feel like I'll be able to comment on this interview for ages, which I will, natch. If only blogger had a line numbering feature like you see in legal documents. Being able to refer to line numbers sure should would make it easier for me to pick this pyschodribble apart.
Here's the interview:
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Jon Gosselin has a lot to say. After ten years of marriage and five seasons laying his family's life out for public view on TLC's Jon & Kate Plus 8, he's feeling, and acting, like man who's suddenly gotten a get-out-of-jail card. Problem is, it's costing him. His legal battle with his ex seems to grow exponentially every day, which, of course, sends the media frenzy on Jon-dom into the stratosphere. We called Jon for a quick chat to catch up on how this is impacting his parenting and ended up talking about everything else.
ParentDish: So, what's going on?
Jon Gosselin: I'm just trying to be as cordial as possible. I messed up at the beginning and now I want to be a nice guy, make better decisions and do the right thing.
PD: Why? What did you do that you consider bad moves.
JG: Meeting Kate Major [former reporter for Star magazine] and Stephanie [Santoro], the nanny. Those were two things.
PD: What's with you and family friend Hailey Glassman?
JG: Me and Hailey are still together. It was hard for her in the beginning. We are going to stay together. She talks to people. She's so friendly. She just goes up to people and says, 'I love your shoes.'
PD: Are you two going to get married?
JG: We don't talk about getting married. She's seen how messy my divorce has been and she says it makes her not want to get married. She laughs about it. It's so different than it was with Kate. It's so comfortable with Hailey and her family. They are so nice. They gave Kate a free tummy tuck, worth $20 grand. I mean, hello? It's free surgery.
PD: How is Hailey adjusting?
JG: I apologized to Hailey that I shouldn't have been hanging out with anyone else. I love her to death and she could've walked away.
PD: Where are you living these days?
JG: I feel like I'm nomadic. I'm in New York, Reading [Pennsylvania], L.A. I have an apartment in New York, on the West Side, that Hailey stays in. I could sleep in my apartment on my 8,000-square-foot property, but that would make Kate uncomfortable. I take the high road.
PD: That must be difficult after all the negative attention coming your way.
JG: I never said anything demeaning about Kate, just that once on Good Morning America about a month ago or so, I lose track of time. I said I despised her; maybe I despised the things she does. That was the first interview in 4 ½ years by myself.
PD: Where are you right now? I hear loud music in the background.
JG: In Philadelphia in a restaurant. There are 65 paparazzi following me in Reading so I don't stay there. Our Nielsons [ratings] are 11 million. That's like the population of Pennsylvania.
PD: Let's try a happy topic. What are your plans for Halloween and Thanksgiving with the kids?
JG: Thanksgiving is tough. Kate has custody on Thanksgiving, but I will stop by to see my kids. Halloween I don't have custody. Hailey handles my schedule. It's kinda weird, but I can confide in her. She's my best friend. I lost a lot of friends; people burned me left and right.
PD: And Christmas?
JG: Christmas, yeah. This is the first year I will celebrate Chanukah. Hailey is Jewish. Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I'm now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great. On Christmas, I'll see my kids during the day for a couple of hours.
PD: Then what?
JG: Hailey is so excited because we're going to go ornament shopping and I'll buy her a stocking. News Year's Eve I'll be in Vegas hosting Las Vegas Live with Eva Longoria.
PD: That sounds fun. Tell me more about your interest in Judaism.
JG: I just went through Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur and learned about the new year and every Friday is the Shabbat dinner. I love challah bread. I'm learning about Jewish food, going to Zabar's. I love that place. I'm learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg and cheese and make an ass of myself. Hailey makes fun of me. My mom came to the city on Yom Kippur and asked where all the traffic was. I got from the West Side to Midtown in five minutes. She wants to come to the city every year on Yom Kippur.
PD: Are we going to see you converting to Judaism?
JG: I talked to Rabbi Shmuley a couple of times. He has nine kids. I was really nervous dating a Jewish girl. She's like the best girl ever. All my friends are like 'I'm so jealous' and I'm like, 'Stay away, she's mine.' She's the rock of my life. She's been through hell in the tabloids. They made up lies that she's a lesbian and she's doing drugs. We've both been through all this turmoil. And we just keep on loving each other.
PD: That's so sweet.
JG: Yeah, I'm not used to that. It's totally different than it was with Kate.
PD: What do you mean?
JG: I look at Kate and say, 'What are you doing? Why are you airing our dirty laundry?
'PD: Why do you think she's talking publicly?
JG: She hired an attorney that says I stole $230,000 and it's so not true and I can prove it. Who is she proving this to? No one cares. You look like the biggest ass somehow. She's throwing me under the bus. Her and TLC. They don't like me because I want to pull my kids off TV. They made $186 million last quarter, $143 million of that from Jon & Kate Plus 8. [Editor's note: A TLC spokesperson declined to verify the numbers to ParentDish.]
PD: How much of that do you see?
JG: $25,000 per episode. It's awfully low. They locked in a contract and we're in the 50 percent tax bracket, so it's $12,500, so each of us gets $1,250 per episode. People think I make $75,000, $100,000 per episode. My kids sacrifice their privacy for this?
PD: Some people would say you should've thought of that a long time ago.
JG: I always wanted to take the kids off the air but we would've been breaching the contract. I couldn't say that on the air because we would've been sued. They tried to fire me before I fired them. I'm stepping up to the plate. Whatever they want to do to me. Sue me. Send me to jail. I'm taking my kids off the air. What judge will say, 'Okay, your kids must be on film'? I know how it works. I'm not afraid of TLC now. God is on my side. TLC would say, 'You can't say this,' and now I'm just unleashing it.
PD: How do the kids feel about it?
JG: The kids are unanimous. They don't want to film. We filmed 152 episodes. What more can you possibly still film? You want us to go to the moon? You want us to take the kids and go to Korea? Are you crazy? They don't want to be on a four-cylinder bus in Korea. They want to be home in the pool. [Editor's note: TLC says they taped a total of 112 episodes.]
PD: How are the paparazzi dealing with you these days?
JG: Hailey and I just hung out in her parents' house for awhile because of the paparazzi. But I know that if you didn't have paparazzi, there would be no magazines, no advertising, no marketing, no nothing. If you run away from them, you're totally toast. So let them take your picture and that's it. After they get the picture then they go away. We're just like, who cares, do what you gotta do and make money for your family. I know a lot of them. I know where their parents live.
PD: Smart move.
JG: Every talk show wants us. I am the most photographed person the planet. Kate is the fifth most popular person in the world this year, and I'm the second most popular. Michael Jackson is the first. I'm like, 'Wake up, Kate.'
PD: What do you mean?
JG: She goes on Regis and The View and has no idea of women's rights. She doesn't even vote, which is disgusting. How could she go on a talk show if she doesn't know what's going on in the world? She's fed lines from TLC. I'm not bashing her -- it's wake up and get on board, take this out of the court and let's settle it.
PD: What does she need to get on board with?
JG: She needs to get on board with her own life and get away from TLC and get out of Kate Gosselin world. She doesn't want to hear it because she's so brainwashed from TLC. She should be an independent contractor and instead she says, 'Yes, I'll listen to you.' For me, you cannot take away my freedom of speech.
PD: What are you doing with yourself these days for work?
JG: I'm still building websites. Hailey wants to start a clothing line.
PD: What happened with the Ed Hardy deal? Weren't you going to do a kids' clothing line?
JG: Ed Hardy totally used us. He got a million in ad sales. He says he never sent a proposal and that's not true. I have it. [Editor's note: The Ed Hardy company was contacted for verification, but did not respond by presstime.]
PD: That's icky. What else is going on?
JG: I started the Jon Gosselin Children's Foundation to help people pay for bills for sick kids. My dad would operate on handicapped children for free and my brother and I want to continue my father's legacy and my kids will see this. We're not taking a penny from it. PD: I heard that you may do another reality show, Divorced Dads Club with Michael Lohan, Lindsay's dad?
JG: Absolutely never. I will never do a reality show again. If I do, it's a documentary on reality TV. I thought DDC was a good idea, but then I feel I have better things to do with my time than to do another show. DDC would take time from my kids.
PD: And speaking of time with your kids, what happened at the twins' birthday party yesterday?
JG: It was the first time I saw Kate in four weeks. It was super uncomfortable because she stayed. There was that elephant in the room, you know. I was really cool. I went to a hotel last night because I know she didn't want me there. Here was a woman I was married to for 10 years and I can't be in the same room with her.
PD: That's so sad that it had to come to this.
JG: Why would she bash me? She's always quick to blame and never takes any blame. She has a media mogul behind her, TLC, a law team. I'm like, I'm gonna do what's right, whether or not it costs me my career.
PD: With all this turmoil, where do you turn for parenting advice?
JG: I have a therapist. But hanging around Jewish people you don't need to talk to anyone else. My parents and grandparents are divorced and I want to break the pattern. I have Hailey and Mark Heller, my attorney, my therapist. They're all Jewish. I watch them and I confide in them, especially Hailey. She is my best friend. She'll tell me if I do something wrong. God has put these people in my life for a reason. My inner circle is Jewish. I only care what they think. I never talked about anything until therapy. Kate never wanted to go to marriage counseling. The thing in therapy is about teaching me how to talk to my kids.
PD: So you're getting everything out in the open now.
JG: I started writing a book. My book says it all. It will teach fathers a lesson.
PD: What do you hope for the future?
JG: Kate and I were a great mom and dad. We were called America's best family. We can still be that and do the best we can as parents. There are tons of divorced people going through this.
PD: How do you handle all the nasty comments about you?
JG: Like the Italians say, 'Keep your head up and nothing will hurt you.' People who write things on blogs are just couch potatoes who have nothing else to do. They put people down because of their psychosis. I told Mady and Cara that the things in the magazines are not true. You want the truth you ask Mommy and Daddy.
PD: Would you have more children?
JG: No. But if Hailey and I got married and she wanted to, then obviously I would. But let me get through this first.
Anyhoo, I feel like I'll be able to comment on this interview for ages, which I will, natch. If only blogger had a line numbering feature like you see in legal documents. Being able to refer to line numbers sure should would make it easier for me to pick this pyschodribble apart.
Here's the interview:
------------------------------------------------------
Jon Gosselin has a lot to say. After ten years of marriage and five seasons laying his family's life out for public view on TLC's Jon & Kate Plus 8, he's feeling, and acting, like man who's suddenly gotten a get-out-of-jail card. Problem is, it's costing him. His legal battle with his ex seems to grow exponentially every day, which, of course, sends the media frenzy on Jon-dom into the stratosphere. We called Jon for a quick chat to catch up on how this is impacting his parenting and ended up talking about everything else.
ParentDish: So, what's going on?
Jon Gosselin: I'm just trying to be as cordial as possible. I messed up at the beginning and now I want to be a nice guy, make better decisions and do the right thing.
PD: Why? What did you do that you consider bad moves.
JG: Meeting Kate Major [former reporter for Star magazine] and Stephanie [Santoro], the nanny. Those were two things.
PD: What's with you and family friend Hailey Glassman?
JG: Me and Hailey are still together. It was hard for her in the beginning. We are going to stay together. She talks to people. She's so friendly. She just goes up to people and says, 'I love your shoes.'
PD: Are you two going to get married?
JG: We don't talk about getting married. She's seen how messy my divorce has been and she says it makes her not want to get married. She laughs about it. It's so different than it was with Kate. It's so comfortable with Hailey and her family. They are so nice. They gave Kate a free tummy tuck, worth $20 grand. I mean, hello? It's free surgery.
PD: How is Hailey adjusting?
JG: I apologized to Hailey that I shouldn't have been hanging out with anyone else. I love her to death and she could've walked away.
PD: Where are you living these days?
JG: I feel like I'm nomadic. I'm in New York, Reading [Pennsylvania], L.A. I have an apartment in New York, on the West Side, that Hailey stays in. I could sleep in my apartment on my 8,000-square-foot property, but that would make Kate uncomfortable. I take the high road.
PD: That must be difficult after all the negative attention coming your way.
JG: I never said anything demeaning about Kate, just that once on Good Morning America about a month ago or so, I lose track of time. I said I despised her; maybe I despised the things she does. That was the first interview in 4 ½ years by myself.
PD: Where are you right now? I hear loud music in the background.
JG: In Philadelphia in a restaurant. There are 65 paparazzi following me in Reading so I don't stay there. Our Nielsons [ratings] are 11 million. That's like the population of Pennsylvania.
PD: Let's try a happy topic. What are your plans for Halloween and Thanksgiving with the kids?
JG: Thanksgiving is tough. Kate has custody on Thanksgiving, but I will stop by to see my kids. Halloween I don't have custody. Hailey handles my schedule. It's kinda weird, but I can confide in her. She's my best friend. I lost a lot of friends; people burned me left and right.
PD: And Christmas?
JG: Christmas, yeah. This is the first year I will celebrate Chanukah. Hailey is Jewish. Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I'm now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great. On Christmas, I'll see my kids during the day for a couple of hours.
PD: Then what?
JG: Hailey is so excited because we're going to go ornament shopping and I'll buy her a stocking. News Year's Eve I'll be in Vegas hosting Las Vegas Live with Eva Longoria.
PD: That sounds fun. Tell me more about your interest in Judaism.
JG: I just went through Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur and learned about the new year and every Friday is the Shabbat dinner. I love challah bread. I'm learning about Jewish food, going to Zabar's. I love that place. I'm learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg and cheese and make an ass of myself. Hailey makes fun of me. My mom came to the city on Yom Kippur and asked where all the traffic was. I got from the West Side to Midtown in five minutes. She wants to come to the city every year on Yom Kippur.
PD: Are we going to see you converting to Judaism?
JG: I talked to Rabbi Shmuley a couple of times. He has nine kids. I was really nervous dating a Jewish girl. She's like the best girl ever. All my friends are like 'I'm so jealous' and I'm like, 'Stay away, she's mine.' She's the rock of my life. She's been through hell in the tabloids. They made up lies that she's a lesbian and she's doing drugs. We've both been through all this turmoil. And we just keep on loving each other.
PD: That's so sweet.
JG: Yeah, I'm not used to that. It's totally different than it was with Kate.
PD: What do you mean?
JG: I look at Kate and say, 'What are you doing? Why are you airing our dirty laundry?
'PD: Why do you think she's talking publicly?
JG: She hired an attorney that says I stole $230,000 and it's so not true and I can prove it. Who is she proving this to? No one cares. You look like the biggest ass somehow. She's throwing me under the bus. Her and TLC. They don't like me because I want to pull my kids off TV. They made $186 million last quarter, $143 million of that from Jon & Kate Plus 8. [Editor's note: A TLC spokesperson declined to verify the numbers to ParentDish.]
PD: How much of that do you see?
JG: $25,000 per episode. It's awfully low. They locked in a contract and we're in the 50 percent tax bracket, so it's $12,500, so each of us gets $1,250 per episode. People think I make $75,000, $100,000 per episode. My kids sacrifice their privacy for this?
PD: Some people would say you should've thought of that a long time ago.
JG: I always wanted to take the kids off the air but we would've been breaching the contract. I couldn't say that on the air because we would've been sued. They tried to fire me before I fired them. I'm stepping up to the plate. Whatever they want to do to me. Sue me. Send me to jail. I'm taking my kids off the air. What judge will say, 'Okay, your kids must be on film'? I know how it works. I'm not afraid of TLC now. God is on my side. TLC would say, 'You can't say this,' and now I'm just unleashing it.
PD: How do the kids feel about it?
JG: The kids are unanimous. They don't want to film. We filmed 152 episodes. What more can you possibly still film? You want us to go to the moon? You want us to take the kids and go to Korea? Are you crazy? They don't want to be on a four-cylinder bus in Korea. They want to be home in the pool. [Editor's note: TLC says they taped a total of 112 episodes.]
PD: How are the paparazzi dealing with you these days?
JG: Hailey and I just hung out in her parents' house for awhile because of the paparazzi. But I know that if you didn't have paparazzi, there would be no magazines, no advertising, no marketing, no nothing. If you run away from them, you're totally toast. So let them take your picture and that's it. After they get the picture then they go away. We're just like, who cares, do what you gotta do and make money for your family. I know a lot of them. I know where their parents live.
PD: Smart move.
JG: Every talk show wants us. I am the most photographed person the planet. Kate is the fifth most popular person in the world this year, and I'm the second most popular. Michael Jackson is the first. I'm like, 'Wake up, Kate.'
PD: What do you mean?
JG: She goes on Regis and The View and has no idea of women's rights. She doesn't even vote, which is disgusting. How could she go on a talk show if she doesn't know what's going on in the world? She's fed lines from TLC. I'm not bashing her -- it's wake up and get on board, take this out of the court and let's settle it.
PD: What does she need to get on board with?
JG: She needs to get on board with her own life and get away from TLC and get out of Kate Gosselin world. She doesn't want to hear it because she's so brainwashed from TLC. She should be an independent contractor and instead she says, 'Yes, I'll listen to you.' For me, you cannot take away my freedom of speech.
PD: What are you doing with yourself these days for work?
JG: I'm still building websites. Hailey wants to start a clothing line.
PD: What happened with the Ed Hardy deal? Weren't you going to do a kids' clothing line?
JG: Ed Hardy totally used us. He got a million in ad sales. He says he never sent a proposal and that's not true. I have it. [Editor's note: The Ed Hardy company was contacted for verification, but did not respond by presstime.]
PD: That's icky. What else is going on?
JG: I started the Jon Gosselin Children's Foundation to help people pay for bills for sick kids. My dad would operate on handicapped children for free and my brother and I want to continue my father's legacy and my kids will see this. We're not taking a penny from it. PD: I heard that you may do another reality show, Divorced Dads Club with Michael Lohan, Lindsay's dad?
JG: Absolutely never. I will never do a reality show again. If I do, it's a documentary on reality TV. I thought DDC was a good idea, but then I feel I have better things to do with my time than to do another show. DDC would take time from my kids.
PD: And speaking of time with your kids, what happened at the twins' birthday party yesterday?
JG: It was the first time I saw Kate in four weeks. It was super uncomfortable because she stayed. There was that elephant in the room, you know. I was really cool. I went to a hotel last night because I know she didn't want me there. Here was a woman I was married to for 10 years and I can't be in the same room with her.
PD: That's so sad that it had to come to this.
JG: Why would she bash me? She's always quick to blame and never takes any blame. She has a media mogul behind her, TLC, a law team. I'm like, I'm gonna do what's right, whether or not it costs me my career.
PD: With all this turmoil, where do you turn for parenting advice?
JG: I have a therapist. But hanging around Jewish people you don't need to talk to anyone else. My parents and grandparents are divorced and I want to break the pattern. I have Hailey and Mark Heller, my attorney, my therapist. They're all Jewish. I watch them and I confide in them, especially Hailey. She is my best friend. She'll tell me if I do something wrong. God has put these people in my life for a reason. My inner circle is Jewish. I only care what they think. I never talked about anything until therapy. Kate never wanted to go to marriage counseling. The thing in therapy is about teaching me how to talk to my kids.
PD: So you're getting everything out in the open now.
JG: I started writing a book. My book says it all. It will teach fathers a lesson.
PD: What do you hope for the future?
JG: Kate and I were a great mom and dad. We were called America's best family. We can still be that and do the best we can as parents. There are tons of divorced people going through this.
PD: How do you handle all the nasty comments about you?
JG: Like the Italians say, 'Keep your head up and nothing will hurt you.' People who write things on blogs are just couch potatoes who have nothing else to do. They put people down because of their psychosis. I told Mady and Cara that the things in the magazines are not true. You want the truth you ask Mommy and Daddy.
PD: Would you have more children?
JG: No. But if Hailey and I got married and she wanted to, then obviously I would. But let me get through this first.
Paparazzi Pigs
So I'm re-watching this video where Kate is taking the twins to the school bus on their birthday (there's a similar video with Jon picking up the twins from the school bus later that afternoon) and I just get madder, madder and madder all over again. I get mad at the paparazzi but mostly at Julie and Jodi for igniting this whole circus.
I get that adults are fair game (actually I don't agree with that but at least they're adults), but it is too much to ask that these paparazzi creeps not do their paparazzi crapola in front of the children? Running after them and chasing them down with 50 pound cameras? In darkness? Asking questions about the divorce within ear shot ? WTF.
Seems to me NOT doing this sort of stuff in front of kids would be common sense. A matter of human decency. But I suppose I must now badger my congressman for legislation to have this type of crap taken care of . Surely the child advocates at GWOP are on the case too, right? I gotta tell ya -- if the paparazzi were parked my front of my house 24x7 or chasing me around in my car or found anywhere within 200 yards of my kids, they'd be worrying about taking two things: my photograph and a stray bullet.
I also noticed that at least two of p-people didn't have American accents. THAT'S ALLOWED ??? We award work visas in this country so that foreigners can come over here and badger our children for fun and profit? Nice. I can't stand that Americans are exercising their "Freedom of Speech" in such a foul matter but we must also tolerate this crap from non-citizens? Bullshit.
I *might* wonder how p-people would like it if I constantly showed up with a pack of people to chase their kids around and terrify them. Emphasis on the word "might" because I'm relatively certain these cretins wouldn't have kids. The only person willing to sleep with them is Britney Spears and , let's face it, that's punishment enough for any man.
P-people are pigs and so is Jon for encouraging them. Knock it off.
I get that adults are fair game (actually I don't agree with that but at least they're adults), but it is too much to ask that these paparazzi creeps not do their paparazzi crapola in front of the children? Running after them and chasing them down with 50 pound cameras? In darkness? Asking questions about the divorce within ear shot ? WTF.
Seems to me NOT doing this sort of stuff in front of kids would be common sense. A matter of human decency. But I suppose I must now badger my congressman for legislation to have this type of crap taken care of . Surely the child advocates at GWOP are on the case too, right? I gotta tell ya -- if the paparazzi were parked my front of my house 24x7 or chasing me around in my car or found anywhere within 200 yards of my kids, they'd be worrying about taking two things: my photograph and a stray bullet.
I also noticed that at least two of p-people didn't have American accents. THAT'S ALLOWED ??? We award work visas in this country so that foreigners can come over here and badger our children for fun and profit? Nice. I can't stand that Americans are exercising their "Freedom of Speech" in such a foul matter but we must also tolerate this crap from non-citizens? Bullshit.
I *might* wonder how p-people would like it if I constantly showed up with a pack of people to chase their kids around and terrify them. Emphasis on the word "might" because I'm relatively certain these cretins wouldn't have kids. The only person willing to sleep with them is Britney Spears and , let's face it, that's punishment enough for any man.
P-people are pigs and so is Jon for encouraging them. Knock it off.
BREAKING NEWS! Jon Gosselin is Writing a Book
According to iwhyawli's confidential sources, Jon is writing a tell-all book and it will be called "How to Completely Ruin your Kids' Birthday".
Especially good work today, Jon. Gotta give you props. You couldn't be making a bigger mess of things if you tried.
And if the Divorced Dad's Club thing doesn't work out, perhaps you could buy yourself a clown suit (or just wear that Ed Hardy crap) and rent yourself out for birthday parties all across America. The GWOPPERS will hire ya. They'll even let you boink 'em while the kiddies eat their ice cream.
Especially good work today, Jon. Gotta give you props. You couldn't be making a bigger mess of things if you tried.
And if the Divorced Dad's Club thing doesn't work out, perhaps you could buy yourself a clown suit (or just wear that Ed Hardy crap) and rent yourself out for birthday parties all across America. The GWOPPERS will hire ya. They'll even let you boink 'em while the kiddies eat their ice cream.
Open Letter to Kate Gosselin
Dear Kate:
It's come to iwhyawli's attention that you "get to spend" some time tomorrow in Jon's presence as the family celebrates the twins' birthday. First of all, Happy Birthday to the twins! They're more gorgeous every day in every way. I'm sure you cannot be more proud.
Secondly, by "get to spend" I mean "must endure". This is why I write to you today. Not only can I get you through tomorrow, you'll wish everyday was like tomorrow. How's that for a fresh perspective!
You see, it's a little known fact, but I am expert in psychological warfare. My expertise is a little known fact because you simply can't *be* an expert in psychological warfare if everyone knows you're an expert in psychological warfare. Get my drift? If you have any lingering questions regarding my expertise in psychological warfare, I offer you the impact of this gwopwop blog on the GWOPPERS as Exhibit A and in support thereof. I drive them all nuts. They hate me more than they hate you. They can't get enough of me. If you could only see my comments queue. Oh, how I press their buttons! I really enjoy that.
This will sound crazy, but some of my so-called best friends have no idea that I positively cannot stand them. They make my skin crawl and yet they are blissfully unaware that I see straight through their every b-s motive. You know that saying "keep your friends close, and your enemies closer?" Rookie talk.
Don't get me wrong. I'm no phony. I'm not deceiving anyone into thinking they're my bestest pals. I'm just a nice person. I don't treat these assclowns in my life any more or less cordially than I treat any perfect stranger. They think they're my bestest friends because they never see me interact with my real bestest friends and family. They have no basis for comparison and so they mistake my everyday normal civility, as friendship. Fools. Given the opportunity to knock a few degrees off their assholiness, they have no idea I'm behind it and neither does anyone else. Rule #1 of psychological warfare: always strike from higher ground. Rule #2: strike to win.
Since you'll no doubt have trouble pretending like Jon is any old schmoe you encounter on a day-to-day basis. Allow me to share some of the easier, more entry-level rules of engagement involving someone who makes your skin scrawl. If you can count to three. You can do this.
It's come to iwhyawli's attention that you "get to spend" some time tomorrow in Jon's presence as the family celebrates the twins' birthday. First of all, Happy Birthday to the twins! They're more gorgeous every day in every way. I'm sure you cannot be more proud.
Secondly, by "get to spend" I mean "must endure". This is why I write to you today. Not only can I get you through tomorrow, you'll wish everyday was like tomorrow. How's that for a fresh perspective!
You see, it's a little known fact, but I am expert in psychological warfare. My expertise is a little known fact because you simply can't *be* an expert in psychological warfare if everyone knows you're an expert in psychological warfare. Get my drift? If you have any lingering questions regarding my expertise in psychological warfare, I offer you the impact of this gwopwop blog on the GWOPPERS as Exhibit A and in support thereof. I drive them all nuts. They hate me more than they hate you. They can't get enough of me. If you could only see my comments queue. Oh, how I press their buttons! I really enjoy that.
This will sound crazy, but some of my so-called best friends have no idea that I positively cannot stand them. They make my skin crawl and yet they are blissfully unaware that I see straight through their every b-s motive. You know that saying "keep your friends close, and your enemies closer?" Rookie talk.
Don't get me wrong. I'm no phony. I'm not deceiving anyone into thinking they're my bestest pals. I'm just a nice person. I don't treat these assclowns in my life any more or less cordially than I treat any perfect stranger. They think they're my bestest friends because they never see me interact with my real bestest friends and family. They have no basis for comparison and so they mistake my everyday normal civility, as friendship. Fools. Given the opportunity to knock a few degrees off their assholiness, they have no idea I'm behind it and neither does anyone else. Rule #1 of psychological warfare: always strike from higher ground. Rule #2: strike to win.
Since you'll no doubt have trouble pretending like Jon is any old schmoe you encounter on a day-to-day basis. Allow me to share some of the easier, more entry-level rules of engagement involving someone who makes your skin scrawl. If you can count to three. You can do this.
- "Interesting"
Jon says anything (at all) to you tomorrow? In person? Via email? This is what you do. You pause. You tilt your head just so like you're contemplating the words, sorta like you actually did hear what he said. Then you count to three (silently). Maybe slowly tilt your head the other way for a second. Maybe a slight smile. Then you only say one word: "Interesting." And then you count to three again. On the third count, just carry on doing something else (ie., wiping off the counter, picking up dirty clothes, pouring yourself a cup of coffee, switch channels on the TV, excuse yourself to the bathroom, you can do anything really. Anything except continue the conversation. He's likely to try again (because remember, he's a dumbass). You always respond the same way: "1-2-3 Interesting 1-2-3." No tone. No confrontation. Experts can do this with a happy lilt that's actually believable. It's the silent treatment without having to be silent. The key is to go about your business unpreturbed. You've ice in your veins. Your mindset is: if you dropped dead of a heartattack right now, darling, I'd simply step over you.
If you must, you can also substitute other non-committal words like "hmmm", "gosh", "wow", "neat", "I should take some time and google that", "that's a really unique perspective" - "That Reminds Me" followed by a complete non-sequitur
When Jon says anything (at all) to your tomorrow? This is what you do. You pause. You tilt your head just so like you're contemplating the words, sorta like you actually did hear what he said. Then you count to three (silently). Maybe slowly tilt your head the other way for a second. Then you say "That reminds me" and follow it with something completely off topic like "Kelly so-and-so had the cutest dress on this morning. I'm going to ask the girls if they'd like to learn how to sew. I'd like to learn how to sew too". Count to three again. On the third count, just carry on doing something else (ie., whistle a happy tune, wipe off the counter, picking up dirty clothes, pouring yourself a cup of coffee, switch channels on the TV, excuse yourself to the bathroom, you can do anything really. Anything except continue his conversation. He's likely to try again (because remember, he's a dumbass). You respond with something relating to the off-topic (i.,e Jane makes all her own clothes).
An hour or two of this and he'll be stumped. Mind game!
As simple as these two entry-level techniques are, Kate, no doubt you'll still have to dig deep and find the ice-water in your veins. Do not let Jon provoke you. We already know that's his intent. Do not lose confidence. You're in the driver's seat. Don't wrestle with pigs cause you just get dirty. Good luck.
If anyone would like to role play with me via blog comments so that Kate can see how this is done, let me know. Chat might be a better way to demonstrate the techniques.... is the unofficial gwop room open?
:)
Today in Court
According to the montcopa.org link that folks have posted in comments here, it looks like Kate's emergency motion to get the money back will be heard today, October 7th.
:: bites nails ::
Please oh please, Judge Tilson, let me able to start a thread titled "Suggestions for Jon's Prison Bitch Name." I need some happiness in my life!
In case you're wondering, I fully support a trip to jail for contempt of court.
:: bites nails ::
Please oh please, Judge Tilson, let me able to start a thread titled "Suggestions for Jon's Prison Bitch Name." I need some happiness in my life!
In case you're wondering, I fully support a trip to jail for contempt of court.
Blogger Errors
Sorry to report this ...
Blogger being the crappiest web application known to man is currently throwing all sorts of errors whenever I attempt to moderate comments. Other blogs that aren't even half as wonderful as this one are also suffering the problem. Sure, I've reported the problem but I also feel like I could have created my own blogging software in the amount of time it took me to figure out how to report a Blogger problem. I say that without knowing jack-squat about web applications, or technology in general. That's not a compliment, you google dweebs.
I've now 45 some comments in the queue but I'm afraid to touch them. When I do, it's unclear whether I'll receive this goofy "bX-lhziiw" error. And when I do receive the error, it's not clear whether the comment is actually published. As we all know, I have enough trouble getting the stuff published without blogger contributing to the confusion. I hope this means Serena (NHRN) will lose her job at google.
Yeah, I realize this stuff is "free" but our (wasted) time certainly is not free. So f-you, blogger. F-you, serena. Get this fixed. PRONTO!
I have spoken.
Blogger being the crappiest web application known to man is currently throwing all sorts of errors whenever I attempt to moderate comments. Other blogs that aren't even half as wonderful as this one are also suffering the problem. Sure, I've reported the problem but I also feel like I could have created my own blogging software in the amount of time it took me to figure out how to report a Blogger problem. I say that without knowing jack-squat about web applications, or technology in general. That's not a compliment, you google dweebs.
I've now 45 some comments in the queue but I'm afraid to touch them. When I do, it's unclear whether I'll receive this goofy "bX-lhziiw" error. And when I do receive the error, it's not clear whether the comment is actually published. As we all know, I have enough trouble getting the stuff published without blogger contributing to the confusion. I hope this means Serena (NHRN) will lose her job at google.
Yeah, I realize this stuff is "free" but our (wasted) time certainly is not free. So f-you, blogger. F-you, serena. Get this fixed. PRONTO!
I have spoken.
Open Discussion: 10/04 to ???
Here's another Open Discussion thread. To help get things started, we have a new report in the "Jon's Fired" thread that Jon's cleaned out the checking account. Interesting but can I believe it? Surely no one is that stupid. If true, Jon will be in very deep caca. Deeper caca than he's already in, but perhaps desperate times call for desperate measures. I suppose a plus to dating a married man in the midst of a public divorce is that rare but very healthy look at your boyfriend's character. Oh wait. His girlfriend is Hailey Glassman, daughter of Plastic-Surgeons-R-Us. Nevermind. When you're that stupid, there are no pluses to dating a married man in the midst of a public divorce.
"I have a very strong faith"
"I have a very strong faith, and I truly believe that God's timing is perfect."
-- Julie Kamauf Brown Daugherty
These are words written by Julie in her October 3rd blog post. She's elaborating on a cryptic, one-line post made earlier in the week : "Timing is everything!" In a nutshell, Julie's rejoicing that things continue to go from bad to worse in the Gosselin family. Which reminds me, will someone go fetch those two posts for me before she deletes them?
Julie may have a very strong faith, but in who or what exactly I'm not sure. The God I hear everyone talk about not only doesn't delight in the destruction of a family, he doesn't plot with blogs and tabloid media to cause it.
Julie may have a very strong faith, and God's timing may be perfect and all that, but apparently her faith isn't strong enough nor God's timing fast enough to keep her from meddling. I'm embarassed that I don't know this, but exactly which section of the Bible tells us to make an internet video and whisper "cheater" in reference to a child's mother? That must be in Doo-Doo-ronomy -- a section which didn't make it into the King James version.
"I’m not going to question the timing of Jon’s decision or even his motives", she writes. She really means "I'm conveniently not going to question the timing of Jon's decision or even his motives FOR NOW because it currently appears that revenge is finally mine. I will, however, continue to question the motives and timing of Kate's decisions. And if Jon should have another epiphany that proves contrary to what I think should be happening in their family, he'll be right back on the shit list too."
In case you're uncertain whether Julie just likes to hear herself write, take a moment to read through this next piece of meaningless dogshit. Warning: it's so bad you may have to use your lips and follow up with a bong hit in order to understand it.
---------------------------------
"It's easier to see things from a different perspective looking from the outside in. Sometimes it takes getting away from the situation to realize how bad things really have become. Please remember that Jon and Kate are just ordinary people with no experience in the entertainment industry. I firmly believe that TLC took advantage of that innocence, and although it's easy to say what should have been done, when and how, sometimes things aren’t as simple as they may appear. On the other hand, something that may seem to be so complicated and hopeless may actually be very simple after all."
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Getting away from the situation? Har! I'm here to tell you that our beloved truth-seeker has been following every last second of this mess. That last line easily refers to Julie's own transparency in this matter. Refer to her deleted blog posts for additional information. They're floating around here somewhere. Also be certain to take a look at Jodi and Kevin's recent lump-sum mortgage payments followin g their radaronline interviews. That's posted here too.
If I had three wishes, one might definitely be to have all the people who meddled in Julie's divorce step forward and send me the links to their truth-seeker blogs? What's that, you say? What do you mean no one created a blog in search of the truth about Julie's family and failed marriage? How come? Don't give me that "golden rule" crap. That 'golden rule' crap is for people of strong faith.
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