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Faking Christmas

How do kids do that exactly? Fake Christmas, I mean. Seriously, Kevin, you're pathetic. I don't even think Jewish kids could fake excitment over Christmas.

Assuming it actually happened, asking a bunch of excited little kids to jump and down and act all goofy on Christmas morning is what you consider 'psychologically harmful' ?

How about when you (cough) make them hide behind the couch with the lights out and shout "Surprise!" at their Mommy's birthday party? Is that okay?

How about when you (cough) park them in Time-Out and then make them say they're sorry when you know damn well they're not sorry for shit. Dat okay?


How about when you make them lie about their ages in order to get into Disney World for less (cough)? If stuff like that is pyschologically harmful, I know some kids in Columbia Maryland (cough) who probably need to be institutionalized.


I don't exactly know what the point of today's hearing was, Kev, but it's been a long time since a governmental event has needed to have a point. However, I did think that the floor length, banquet style table cloths were a nice touch. Hope that didn't cost too much extra. Most taxpayers are a little short on cash these days.


Myself, I thought the hearing meant to question the adequacy of Pennsylvania's child labor laws --- a worthwhile discussion any day. Unfortunately, it sounds like YOU thought the point of today's hearing was to charge Jon & Kate with child abuse.


Let me ask you something, you fucking idiot. Are Pennsylvania's child labor laws adequate? Or, um, don't we know because you and Old Glory Hole elected to sensationalize the event with a bunch of fake drama?


Once upon a time, you were the guy who changes the filter in my furnace twice a year. Now you're a child psychologist?


Don't make me watch the whole thing, Kev. Can my kid still have a paper route?


Do I need to fire my 8th grade baby-sitter?



Is the hearing over, Kevvy, or will be you be testifying (cough) again tomorrow? Make sure all the folks are aware of these little factoids:



1. Your wife gave gum to three years old. It's true, Kevin, don't deny it. We have it on film. Do you realize those kids could have choked on that gum? But I guess you can't be psychologically damaged when you've just choked to death, eh?



2. When Jon went to get his ill-fated hair plugs, your wife hauled her sick kids over to the Gosselins house in order to babysit. Here's a warning, toots. You purposefully expose my kids to illness and you'll never hear the end of it. Unless you want to know what psychological damage truly feels like, you'll keep your sick kids at home.


Now that I think of it, I don't believe I have received your application to GWOPWOP's Parenting Study yet. Chop chop, dude. I wouldn't want to miss the next congressional hearing.

64 comments:

Linda said...

HYPOCRITS . . . thy name is Kreider.

A pagan said...

Some insist that lying to your kids about Santa Claus is psychologically harmful. Do do we need a law against you, Kevin?

Anonymous said...

We should cancel Christmas.

Anonymous said...

And the whole potty training BS. I guess it was lost on Aunt RatsNest and Uncle Backstabber that it was filmed at their house and RatsNest narrated the show.

I'm surprised Kate is as sane as she is with all the dipshits in her life.

Run for the hills Kate!

Anonymous said...

I wonder if Jodi has been berating poor ol' Kev all day for not bashing the G's enough for her taste? As usual, she looked scary as hell today....

Sharpei said...

Oh, come on, we all know the Gosselin kids are all secretly Muslim anyway. Especially that shifty little Hannah.

Seriously, you are trying to tell me that MADY and CARA didn't know when Christmas was? What were they, six, seven? In school. Able to count days, one would think. Lord knows Kate had calendars because that's what she used to write all her uber-organized notes.

You don't think Mady and Cara were in on the Great Christmas Fakeout Conspiracy (oops, I guess I mean Konspiracy), do you? This thing is so much bigger than I imagined. The tentacles of the Evil Christmas Fakeout may have reached all the way to the North Pole! Maybe Evil Witch Kate manipulated time so that Christmas occurred twice! The possibilities are endless....

ZiggyFlo said...

If Kevin is any example of what Kate's family is like, crimmy, I don't blame her for distancing herself them them.
If that were my brother doing what Kevin is trying to do to his sister, my mom would've been all over him & his wife like fleas to a junk yard dog. Wouldn't matter how old we are.
You don't do this, especially, publicly to family unless you're sucm.

Anonymous said...

just read at RWA that IWHY is also JenD/Jupiter. Cause you have all been tricked just like they tricked the Gosselin kids and pretended it was Christmas.

Debbie and Tom Schmidt of Elizabethtown, PA said...

We once took our kids to a Saint Patrick's Day parade and it wasn't held on Saint Patrick's Day. We're also not Irish. Don't tell Kevin and Jodi and please don't post this.

She's Simple said...

I love how Jodi has to read along and turn the pages at the same time Kevin reads along and turns the pages. Ha ha ha. Did she not read the thing beforehand ? Maybe it's because she has trouble looking people in the eye when they're spewing this stuff.

iwhyawli said...

If I'm also JenD, gee, which persona is not the real persona? Because the followers of the fake persona would be the people who were "tricked", right?

I guess we'll worry about whatever "tricked" means later.

iwhyawli said...

Oh I see now. Kevin's all mad because Jon & Kate allegedly told the kids to act like it was Christmas morning or something like that when it wasn't actually Christmas Day just to get a shot for the TV cameras. I thought they allegedly made the kids re-film their excitement on Christmas Day.

Wow. I bet Jon and Kate could have avoided this hearing altogether if only the TV cameras had been in the house filming the kids' actual excitement (or lack thereof) on the actual Christmas Morning in question.

Ghost of Thomas Jefferson said...

We need to amend the Constitution and ban the phrase "Christmas in July."

Heidi and Geunther Fritzhousen of Elizabethtown Pa said...

Now I know who complained because we left our Christmas lights up until April. Please don't post this.

Mothers Against Fake Holiday Celebrations said...

Wait til Kev finds out Kate had the Easter Egg hunt on Holy Saturday because she had to fly out to LA for DWTS. He's gonna blow!

A Pagan said...

How damaged is Little Benny going to be when he finds out his parents made him to sit in church every Sunday to worship a God that doesn't exist? Talk about confused.

iwhyawli said...

Okay, ya'll. You're points that the tables are as easily turned on Uncle Kevin and Aunt Jodie definitely aren't lost on me.

Unfortuanately, they will be lost on Uncle Kevin and Aunt Jodi because a) they are stupid, b) they don't really believe what they're saying and c) they only care about the money.

Anonymous said...

I think it's interesting that the comment counts at GWOP are as follows:

Child Labor Law Hearing-77

Kate's DWTS-123

Kate's Book-178

That right there says exactly how much these people really care about child advocacy!!

judgejudith said...

Pretend Christmas on the wrong day just to get camera footage.

Loving (pretend Aunt) who goes on TV and says the kids are damaged and spews trash about their mother.

WHICH IS WORSE?

Boy am I glad I don't have a brother who loves me like Kevin loves Kate!

grumpy said...

Get your facts straight. Kate is the one who took her sick 8 to Aunt Jodies for her to babysit while Jon went for the hair transplants. (Seems to me it was not essential that Kate accompany him). Look it up on youtube.

mkb77 said...

Kate was too nice on Joy Behar's show last night. She referenced her brother and simply stated something to the effect that they must have run out of money and needed more..so they came up with some new materials.

Kevin and Jodi are fakes. I always thought she was so stinkin' spacey in those early episodes, but I also thought she was loving and kind. I thought the same of Kevin, nice brother, helping out with those kids.

Yeah..well..they are not nice nor are they kind. They are snakes waiting for their next move.

Ugh.

Kate did herself a favor when she distanced herself from her "family."

iwhyawli said...

grumpy, don't you be telling me to get my facts straight when YOU can't even spell your beloved czarina's name correctly. It's J-O-D-I, you nit wit, with a little heart drawn over the "i".

You look it up on youtube yourself, you fat ox. It matters not to me whether it was Kate's kids or Jodi's kids who were sick or who took who to whose house. The point being -- someone's kids were sick and Jodi COULD have said 'no, I'm not going to babysit" but she didn't.

Gum-loving Jodi ain't no mother of the year herself, and it's high time someone like me moves into action take her kids away too. And then i'll work on ways to take your kids away. Right after I get sharla's kids taken away. Oh wait, Sharla is a bearded eunic and she has no kids. Never mind.

Look yonder, grumpy. That's what we intellects call a forest. You are looking at the trees.

iwhyawli said...

anon at 6:47am, I read with amusement those similar stats on the Princess Board where I derive most of my blogging inspiration. The poster there also commented "Well done, GWOP. Well done" and I chortled out loud.

Thanks for posting them here too. I also noticed that HionDegrassi (spelling) stumbled across a GWOP thread that sheds incriminating light on Jodi and Julie's motives. Miraculously, the thread hasn't been deleted yet. I'm sure it will be soon. Hi Sharla!


Yes, those were very telling numbers.

And now, I'm off to dig up all of Julie's deleted blog posts and make them more prominently on the main page. I want to put them right next to picutres of Jodi's large lump sum mortgage payments. You know, just in case there's any lingering doubt about any of this.

Anonymous said...

http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/04/exclusive-jon-gosselin-finds-new-place-live

GWOP insider said...

Question:


Would it be wrong to create a blog to talk shit about Sharla Smith's mommy or any other member of her family?

I wonder how she would like it!

to be continued...

Anonymous said...

I think grumpy is Sharla

judgejudith said...

You go girl!

Need any help?

Do I hear heads imploding?

You'd better do better Kevin said...

So this has been going on for two years and all they can come up with is potty training(for the bigillionth time) and faking Christmas? Surely if the kids are "damaged"(per uncle asshole, douche) there must be more, right? Faking Christmas is pretty shitty, but gawd drama queen, can't you do any better than that? Surely Kate locked at least one of them in a closet for a few days or made them sleep on the porch as punishment for farting in the house or....I dunno...something. Right?

Deborah said...

Nothing would pleasure me more than the Julie/Jodi klan brought up and exposed again.
There are so many like me that missed it the first time.

momsby said...

I can't tell you how refreshing it is to hear that I'm not the only mom with Kate like quirks! I've been afraid to leave my home for fear of being lynched by some hater alpha mom.;) My 3yo just asked if eating carrots will turn her red hair...I said I think it might if you eat alot.

momsby said...

I just had a flashback..my mom said Santa came once for AprilFools! YIPEE, Finally I found something to rag on my mom about to a therapist.

gwopmole said...

I think we should start a fund to hire a private investigator to uncover the true identity of Sharla Smith. Paypal anyone?

Anonymous said...

Well I do know old Jen D and snrkie. Made a post about Sages blog the other night. And Jen D said people from Sages blog hated her. The post was gone after a while wonder why?

momsby said...

FYI, iwhyawli...
Just wanted to let you know that there is a creepy troll Just Wondering who is tormenting a woman over on BM's site. She found out her personal info from an Amazon review and posted it. The poor woman is really shaken up. I just thought I should get the word out to all of our allies in the "Sheeple" movement. Remember your privacy settings kids, a haters gone ape-shit.

Anonymous said...

RE Just Wondering

“Just wondering” is a true turd in the gosselin blog toilet. She is about as insane as they come. The funny part is that Sharla must agree with “just wondering's” point of view because she allows that crazy bitch to post all over gwop. I wouldn’t be surprised if “just wondering” was yet another one of Sharla’s sockpuppets. Do a search for “just wondering” on gwop, gwopwop and the princess chantal blogs to see what sort of nutjob “just wondering” really is.

RE Sage’s blog…

I have been reading Sage’s blog from the beginning and I'm so sick of seeing Jen D and Snark's sockpuppets stinking up the blog. It seems that every other comment has something to do with them. I am really hoping Deborah and Shawn are successful in kicking those dummies to the curb or maybe everyone should just ignore what they say and not respond to them. Don't feed the trolls.

Sage, Jen D and Snark are trying to ruin your blog. It's time to take out the trash.

judgejudith said...

To poster Linda, here's another good one I saw on a different site

Sucubus....thy name is Kreider.

Can't wait for your satirical remarks about "toastergate", IWHY.

JustCrushed said...

you mean like when TV or Christmas specials are shot in California in the summer and everyone is wearing heavy coats to pretend it is winter and they have fake snow and they all sit around singing Christmas Carols drinking hot drinks and we watch it in December and think they are just now filming it?

You mean like when the 6 kids from the Brady Bunch and their two parents actually faked being really a family? They weren't?

You mean all that is not real?

I am crushed.

Anonymous said...

I actually kinda like it when the haters drop in at Sage's blog. For those of us who refuse to read the hate blogs it serves as a reminder of how insane they can be AND it makes us all the more determined to stick together and rally against the hate. Bring it on, lol!

momsby said...

I hear TLC is hiring people to go on sites to promote Kate again. Anybody know how I can apply? I work for cheap & have flexible hours. I'm saving for a kitchen reno, and saying nice things on the internet sounds like a sweet gig to me. The best part would be I could work from home, so no risk of being called an absentee mom. I'm sure there would be huge potential for advancement in a companey that rules North America. I know a job at TLC didn't work out for Kevin and Jodi but I'm not a hypocrit and I'm nice:)

gwop spy said...

Sometimes I too get sick of jend and tvskank... err snark. Then I remember how they continually get schooled by the likes of just about everyone. They have gotten kicked off almost every blog. For them being able to post on sage's must be the highlight of their pathetic day.

Kudos to sage for allowing total bottom dwellers like jend and snark to post on her blog. That’s an act of mercy if I ever did see one.

I recently read that jen/jupiter/stupiter swore she would stop posting on sage’s. Well she was back about 10 minutes later.

I do get offended by the way when I read comments saying that Iwhyawli is jend. That’s just wrong. Iwhyawli is like Einstein (brilliant) and jend is like Jon Gosselin(dumb). Enough said.

Iwhyawli you still rock!

Pwn JoKe said...

You are on fire, Iwhy. I'm looking forward to all the incriminating evidence against the Kreiders being front and center.
Are the mortgage papers the "personal family secrets" Kevin didn't want exposed?

Anonymous said...

We celebrated Christmas early so that we could include my nephew who was leaving for Iraq. Then we had regular Christmas on Christmas Day again. Is his 4 year old brother supposed to psychologically damaged? From having TWO CHRISTMASES?

kimmie said...

where do you all find these blogs to read? i read at princess but can't register...it won't take my email. and i read and post at iw. but i've never heard of sage, jend, snarkie...where can i find these blogs?

Anonymous said...

http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/zontv/2010/04/kate_gosselin_pennsylvania_chi.html#comments

momsby said...

Hey kimmie,
I noticed your question but I'm new so I don't want to look like a keener! I can be your gosselin blog tour guide if you'd like.. You know the princess, iwhyawli,& the gals at IW. The Gosselin Family Fan Site-run by the fabulous Baby Mama who is an enthusiastic, sassy & very informed UBER fan. Her site I believe was first & is great for up todate G news and her posters like positive & quality Gosselin discussion & debate. I highly recommend it. Radar Online seems to have developed a big following on all the G articles. They have Sheeples & Creeples hashing it out every day and night. I read sometimes but it's pretty fast paced for a newbie. I'll include the nosy neighbour just to be fair..& because you asked about snark and she posts there. It's called Small Town Gosselin, run by a local "therapist" who claims to be just a gossip..but links to hate sites. Our last stop Sage Way Express, if your looking for witty, intellegent debate with a bit of spice the Sagettes are your girls! It's open to all views but for some reason creeples don't stick around long. I think because the posters have lost patience with irrational hate. These are all my hot spots, could be more. I try not to do the dark-side, hypocrites & nasties piss me off. They're not hard to find..just follow your nose. Happy Blogging :)

Anonymous said...

http://tinyurl.com/y552tnu

Kelly said...

http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/04/photos-behind-scenes-diva-kate-gosselins-la-book-signing

JenniferDeww said...

Do you think RadarOnLine has a shot of the Blogging Lawyer? Look here

http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/04/photos-behind-scenes-diva-kate-gosselins-la-book-signing

Pause at 42 seconds in. There is a woman holding a cell phone taking a picture that lines up with the one the blogging *cough...cough* lawyer posted.

Anonymous said...

sage
http://thesagewayexpress.blogspot.com/


gosselindivorce
http://gosselindivorce.blogspot.com/

princes
http://princessmc.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=Books&action=display&thread=2935&page=187

momsby said...

JD...
That's exactly how I pictured the blogging*cough, cough* lawyer to look.:) I'm thinking all those Gurlz could by family.

Anonymous said...

kimmie, if you want to go back to the beginning I suggest reading the archives here:

http://gosselinsdonotneedourpity.blogspot.com/2008_07_01_archive.html

They have other discussions at that blog but it's mostly about the Gosselins. They are the ones who took down pennmommy. All that drama starts in september 2008. It's a fun read!

Brenna said...

Jennifer and Momsby: I just saw the radar video. Is she the strange looking he/she in the white shirt holding a phone taking a picture? that is too funny. I told my husband that person looks a little strange like a deranged clingy fan type trying to get close to Kate. I guess I was right!!! And THAT is the lawyer. don't think so. I guess they will believe anything.

Anon P said...

Has anyone seen this blog? http://zontvisnuts.blogspot.com/

It is pretty on target for exposing David Zurawick and his lack of journalistic integrity. He started blogging about Kate Gosselin months ago and saw his traffic increase 10 fold and so he jumped on the Kate Hate Wagon.

He now has a hate Facebook Fan Page and it has been taken over by a woman who has some type of psychological disorder.

judgejudith said...

After re-reading "Faking Christmas" and all the comments I now realize why I am so screwed up.

We celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve! Christmas Day is the family day to celebrate the births of my sister and I.

Do you think we should stop enjoying life and start to hate on our parents for not selectively reducing one of us and because we fake Christmas every year?

Anonymous said...

Wow, I just wasted an hour and a half on this single post. I guess you can call me a newbie, I've only been emerged in this Gosselin world for about a year now. There are some serious crazy's out there who really hate Kate. I'm not sure I've even hit the tip of the iceberg yet. Someone should summarize all of the crazy stories, who is who, and all the websites, and send it to 20/20. You know the Gwopper's heads would fall off, if a 20/20 expose was done on them and not the horrors of Kate!!

Anonymous said...

judgejudith said...
After re-reading "Faking Christmas" and all the comments I now realize why I am so screwed up.

We celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve! Christmas Day is the family day to celebrate the births of my sister and I.

Do you think we should stop enjoying life and start to hate on our parents for not selectively reducing one of us and because we fake Christmas every year?

April 19, 2010 5:54 AM
-----------------------------------

Well hell no you don't go hate on your parents...You hate on Kate Gosselin, cause it's her damn fault. If it weren't for her, you would have never known how damaged you really are so put the blame where the blame belongs girl!

Anonymous said...

Anon P said...
Has anyone seen this blog? http://zontvisnuts.blogspot.com/
//////////////////////////////
Very funny stuff. I love a good mocking. I stopped reading that crybaby when he wouldn't post my comments. Idiot. I am so glad someone has taken him on.

mkb77 said...

This has nothing to do with faking Christmas, but I didn't know where else to post it.

I watched Tori and Dean last night. I know, I know..pitifrigginful, what can I say? I watched it. Mind candy, that's all it is. That and self made drama.

Having said that, I would like to point out the following in hopes that the Gwopatards that lurk here, will see these particular points:

A. Tori and Dean are making money off of their kids.

B. Their baby daughter Stella was filmed pooping in her potty last night.

C. Liam had a major diva issue with himself in this particular episode.

D. Tori and Dean have a lot to deal with in their relationship and seem to fight more this season.

Having said all of that, I myself could give a rat's behind if: they make money by having their life filmed for a reality show, their kids are shown on a potty chair, their kids have a meltdown, or their marriage is under duress. I watch the show cause it is there to watch.

Gwoptards, march forward and carry the torch for the McDermott/Spelling kids. They need you.

LMAO.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

Anon P said...
Has anyone seen this blog? http://zontvisnuts.blogspot.com/
//////////////////////////////
Very funny stuff. I love a good mocking. I stopped reading that crybaby when he wouldn't post my comments. Idiot. I am so glad someone has taken him on.

April 19, 2010 7:20 PM

Someone needs to expose Z's alter ego, Zirene. He has turned his blog over to her and she is not only out of her mind, but dangerous.

iwhyawli said...

[horshack]ooo ooo ooo[horshack]! Do you want to create the ToriandDeanWithoutPity blog, or should I? Hurry!

Ha! I didn't even know Tori and Dean had a show. I was like aren't they a little old for babies but then I realized you were talking about Tori Spelling, beloved daughter of Aaron Spelling (RIP) as opposed to the pairs skaters.

I'm gonna move your post to the main page, mkb77. You should probably be an admin, too. You contribute far better stuff than I do. It's a little embarassing frankly. :)

Anonymous said...

http://insidetv.aol.com/2010/04/20/whoopi-goldberg-calls-kate-gosselin-an-angry-bitch-video/

iwhyawli said...

Oh that wacky Whoopie! Sure is upset, isn't she? She maybe needs to reflect back on some of those powerful love-making sessions with Ted Danson and calm herself the fuck down.

I don't suppose it's a coincidence that Whoopie just might be the only person in the universe who would dance worse than Kate ?

Anonymous said...

iwhyawli said...
Oh that wacky Whoopie! Sure is upset, isn't she? She maybe needs to reflect back on some of those powerful love-making sessions with Ted Danson and calm herself the fuck down.

I don't suppose it's a coincidence that Whoopie just might be the only person in the universe who would dance worse than Kate ?

April 20, 2010 6:36 PM

I think old Whoopie pie is the bitch. Really what kind of name is Whoopie any ways?

mkb77 said...

I'm gonna move your post to the main page, mkb77. You should probably be an admin, too. You contribute far better stuff than I do. It's a little embarassing frankly. :)

________

Hey, thanks! But don't sell yourself short..the stuff you post on this site has me rolling. ROLLING. You are hysterical! Keep it up!!!;)