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Who the Heck is Eric Roberts?

Never heard of him.

Be right back. I'm going to google him.

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Oh. I get it. He is a former soap opera star/drug addict/wife abuser. And one of those Celebrity (cough) Rehab substance abuse opportunists to boot. So yeah, I totally understand why I'd be 100% interested in everything he has to say, including the judgments he passes on others who he perceives to be less perfect than him. Teach me, Eric. Teach me. After the tragic passing of Brittany Murphy's husband, Simon whatshisname, I've been lost at sea.

So yeah, Eric Roberts is officially my new mentor, and I am nothing if not a good student. I bet it wouldn't bother Eric in the least if I were to volunteer on these here internets that his sister, Julia, is a complete dimwit -- [cough]Lyle Lovett fiasco [cough] --- and worse, a hack actress as recently re-confirmed in the yawnfest titled "Eat, Pray, Love." For a long while there, I stopped going to movies because I simply could NOT understand why, in a country of 6+ gazillion women, all the leading lady roles were being given to Julia Roberts.

Nothing personal, Julia, but you can't act. You look, you talk, you laugh, you mope, you walk, you weep, you smile EXACTLY THE SAME WAY IN EVERY MOVIE THAT YOU'VE EVER BEEN IN. So please, go find Dustin Hoffman, Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, Meryl Streep, Helen Mirren, Amy Adams or even Cher for crapsake, introduce yourself and beg for an acting lesson.

It's probably not fair to crap all over Julia Roberts like this. I'd really rather crap all over Eric Roberts but other than drug addict/domestic violence kudos, there's not much there to comment on.

My feelings for Eric Roberts are perhaps best expressed in song.


"Dancing through Life"
Wicked

[taps mike ]

Mi-mi-mi.
Testing. 1-2. Testing.

[spritzes throat]

Dancing through life
Skimming the surface
Gliding where turf is smooth
Life's more painless
For the brainless
Why think too hard?
When it's so soothing

Dancing through life
No need to tough it
When you can sluff it off as I do
Nothing matters
But knowing nothing matters
It's just life
So keep dancing through


Dancing through life
Swaying and sweeping
And always keeping cool
Life is fraught-less
When you're thoughtless
Those who don't try
Never look foolish
Dancing through life
Mindless and careless
Make sure you're where less
Trouble is rife
Woes are fleeting
Blows are glancing
When you're dancing
Through life

7 comments:

ZiggyFlo said...

LOL, the song said it all.

Anonymous said...

Julia and Emma are stunned that Eric would say such things as he is a wek parent himself.
http://www.myfoxchicago.com/dpp/good_day/demi-lovato-eric-roberts-kate-gosselin-morning-glory-harrison-ford-zwecker-20101110

Get a job Jon said...

Julia Roberts thinks her brother is insane.

She is a bad actress.

Wicked was great, wasn't it? Now they can act!

Lexxi said...

It's not really fair to blame Julia for what her brother did. Don't forget she didn't talk to him for years. I thought Julia did a superb job in Erin Brockovich. Anyway Eric was apparently contacted by one of the haters and since very soon Eric will be appearing on the show Celebrity Rehab so what better way for this loser Eric to get his name in the media than to use Kate Gosselin and allow a hater to do that. They both gained. Less than a week later that stupid nonsense article came out with Eric Roberts opinion and he starts tweeting like mad about his upcoming appearance on Celebrity Rehab. The number of people following this douchebag went up dramatically after he smacked Kate Gosselin so Eric got what he wanted press and followers for his new show and the hater got hits for her site. It's all so disgusting.

No Worry, Beef Curry said...

Good thing you decided to post on this thread (owner)... As it is a major snooze-fest.

Talk about Bristol- YES... So much more time relevant

iwhyawli said...

Um, what?

You sneaking into the licquor cabinent again, beefy?

Anonymous said...

I case you didn't know. Eric Roberts in now on Celebrity rehab on VH1. He says its only for pot. But he does admit to using cocaine and other big drugs in the past. His sister sided with his ex wife in his child custody case. Hes a druggie.