Rules for Posting

Click here for iwhyawli's tongue-in-check version of GWOP's 954,012 posting rules. If you're wondering why GWOP has so many posting rules, you're not alone.

Free Tutorial

..

OBITUARY: ChurchMouse Offs Herself

I have long suspected that the GWOPPERS read too many romance novels and a recent post by some simp named "ChurchMouse" leads me to believe that I'm right (yet again). Not that there's anything wrong with romance novels, I guess, but for GWOPPERS, these books seem to serve as their life compass. If you're not a demure maiden who spends her days in the forest feeding berries to cute little cartoon animals whilst whistling a happy tune, Fabio isn't likely to look twice in your direction. And um, who wants that?

Lots of drama at GWOP today.

I am sorry to report a blog-i-cide.

A poster who calls herself "ChurchMouse" decided she is so pious and pure that she can no longer post at GWOP. All the negativity (including her own) that is directed at the Gosselins and people like Baby Mama creates far too much inner turmoil.

"I'm off to do more noble things in my life," she writes. "But, I authorize the rest of youse guys to carry on here. Not everyone can rise to higher ground like *I* can. I pinch my nose and hereby declare myself superior to you. From this day forth, I will now only rely on third-party dopes like fostersmom to post all my very poignant literary musings. So here you go, fellow maidens, stick this latest excerpt from Little Women in your pipe. But don't be expecting me to return here and read whatever kudos and complements I will inspire. Because yeah, I'm above all this. I ain't coming back here. No way. No how. No siree. Okay, alright, maybe I'll come back. But only if you beg."

And beg they did.

Kate? In case you don't read at GWOP, you should know that the dearly departed ChurchMouse prayeths that it isn't too late for you (there's no mention of Jon's responsibility in this matter) to raise your daughters properly. You see,

"to be loved and chosen by a good man is the best and sweetest thing which can happen to a woman."

--- Louisa May Alcott, Little Women


Welcome to 1910, y'all.

7 comments:

mdew said...

That Louisa May Alcott herself never married is perhaps the funniest thing about churchmouse's stupid post.

kimmie said...

i am totally amazed (tho i know i shouldn't be) at the hatred that is spewed over there...and yet they can be so sanctimonious at the same time. un.be.lievable!

they are tearing kate apart over the new do...so sad...i feel sorry for them.

Merry Merry said...

Dear Iwhyawli:

I'm sorry to inform you that I'm leaving and never coming back. It's ok. I don't need friends or blogs. I just need this...ashtray, and that's all I need, and this paddle ball...and this this remote control...

*blog-i-cide*

Allison

Callie said...

Farewell, Churchmouse. A new screen name awaits you...

Anonymous said...

There are really bizarre people in "BizarroLan" aren't there?

Anonymous said...

When you don't think GWoP can not get any crazier, they prove you wrong.

Church Cat said...

Is the churchmouse stuff for real? Gwop is a big joke, right? Maybe Kate and TLC created Gwop to attract all the fanatics who were a threat to Kate and her kids. It gives them a legal outlet for their pent-up frustrations. Gwop is like fly paper for the Kate-obsessed. Kate's behind the whole thing. This Louisa May Alcott thing is just too absurd to be anything but a set-up.