Sunday Funnies

This comment from an anonymous poster in the Quintessential GWOP post was just too funny to be hiding in the Quintessential GWOP thread. I chuckled and I chuckled.

Reasons You MIGHT WANT TO Be a GWOPPER poster
(moderator induced guilt not included)

1. Your plasma has post-it notes after watching Jon & Kate plus 8
2. Your husband finds blogger notes hightlighted in yellow
3. You have CPS on speed dial
4. You were voted least likely to suceed at the PTA
5. The last time you read to your kids was the National Inquirer cover in the check out lane
6. Your kids know not to disturb mommy when she is sitting at the computer
7. You want to tell Kate to kiss your ass but the moderators won't post it
8. You have spent more on your cable bill than on your kids education
9. In tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Sharla do?”
10. Snarkin' on Kate is your primary occupation
11. Hating on hats, heels, and hair means you have nothing of importance to say
12. 'I read in a tabloid' means its worth repeating
13. Disappointed the show didn't have a narrative like little house on the praire
14. Kate's 'downfall' is not going as you planned
15. Jon is the sensitive one for having broke down to a selfish victim
16. Jon is just doing whatever it takes to derail the show and ruin Kate's life/save the children
17. Jon let you down, but it's time to let go. If Laura Linger can stop loving him you can to.
18. concerned about oversized families who make money in questionable ways, despite the Kennedys
19. sending "words of support and encouragement" to a P.O. Box in St. Louis
20. Kate can't be good because you don't like her, so that means Jon is still good no matter what he does
21. GWOP's resident therapist agrees that Kate dresses like a hooker
22. GWOPers always "put" so many "quotation marks" in all "the" wrong places?
23. I want to cradle the Gosselin kids in my arms like we did our puppy last night as the sun , but I can't.
24. I'm a fucking savior, ya'll. Please shower me with compliments about my tremendous self-sacrifice
25. You want to 1 up Kate skills of answering her own questions
26. MAGGIE said...I personally believe this is going to be the final season for the show.....our intelligence is being insulted
27. Aunt Bozo Hair and Uncle White Trash apparently paid off their mortgage recently
28. Dear God, If you can make a GWOP class action lawsuit against Kate/TLC happen, I promise to never ask you for anything ever again.
29. find a hate blog and announce your reasons and your turmoil

Quintessential GWOP

So of course I was eager to drop by GWOP to read what the nutcases had to say about Jon's crushing defeat in court today, but guess what? There's no mention of Jon's crushing defeat in court at GWOP. This topic must be too painful for Sharla. Perhaps it's too soon. The wound may be too raw. Sharla could very well be parked on her shrink's couch trying to work through all the anger and disappointment of today. It's just so unfair, isn't it Sharla? How much longer before one of your sockpuppets posts the Judge's e-mail address? Tick tock, babe.

Although disappointed (but not shocked) that there's no mention of this historic day in Jon Gosselin history at GWOP, I wasn't disappointed (or shocked) to stumble upon Sharla's post regarding School Bus Gate. In order to catch their school bus, apparently the kids must get up at some hour that is earlier than the rules of child advocacy allow. The post and its comments are quintessential GWOP.

I try to think of the right word for people like Sharla and her readers. "Creepy" seems to fit best. The level of scrutiny that she subjects other parents to is .... just plain creepy. Clearly something very, very bad must have happened in Sharla's own childhood and all other parents (with the possible exception of her own parents) will pay for it. Perhaps more likely, Sharla herself is a shitty parent and digging into other parents makes herself feel better. I've checked my Inbox, Sharla. Your application to gwopwop's Parenting Study still isn't in it. I don't understand the delay.

Y'all keep in mind that the show is off the air and has been for almost 3 weeks now. That's all the GWOPPERS ever wanted if we're to believe their "What We Want" statement (cough). Well, there's been no filming and no recent pictures. For all we know, the kids are now in high school and the boys are sporting full beards. So all that 'public servant' stuff that Sharla said about keeping the blog open as long as other people still wanted to talk about the Gosselins? Horse crap. What she meant was ... Sharla will keep the blog open as long as she wants to talk about the Gosselins and their so-called shitty parenting.

If concocted charges like School Bus Gate are any example, that blog ain't going anywhere anytime soon.

Oh joy.

TLC 1 Jon 0

Gee, I wonder what does Jon has to say about the Judge's ruling today. Oh wait.... He can't say anything about it. He lost. HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

Jon's Big Day in Court

Don't know about y'all but I cannot WAIT to hear today's courtroom events.
Should be humorous in a painfully pathetic sort of way. Oh how I wish this trial was taped/filmed. :: cries:: Doesn't it seem like we are WAY overdue for the very obvious next generation Reality TV Show --- ie., show depicting the various courtroom antics of all these Reality TV "stars". That's some Reality TV, I'd like to see.

Pray Tell

What in heck is Hailey wearing on her head? To me it looks like that bag of stuff I had to pull out of the turkey's ass on Thanksgiving morning. Now I know what it's used for.

Reason #104,331 Why I Suspect that I'm Not from the Planet

Hello! The last of iwhyawli's Thanksgiving house guests are now returning to their own homes and iwhyawli can FINALLY come out of hiding. I made certain to clear our computer's browser history and cookie cache and am pleased to report that my secret identity remains secret (I think). I hope you all enjoyed a fantastic holiday.

So, I'm reading where Jon elected to go snowboarding whilst claiming he'd spend the day with grandma. Was there any reason he couldn't just respond "I'm going snowboarding with friends" when asked to tell his holiday plans? Or, how about "none of your business"? Why drag grandma into anything? Truth be told, unless it's a story reporting how Jon choked on a turkey bone, I don't really care what he did for Thanksgiving. I also don't care why Tiger Woods drove his car into a fire hydrant/tree. Some news-reporting woman on CNN yesterday stated that "we are entitled to an explanation." Oddly, I don't feel entitled to an explanation. In fact, I hope Tiger Woods never offers anyone an explanation. It's no one's business, but I'm glad to see Gloria Allred's on the scene to defend yet another undeserving damsel in distress.

Poor Jodi and Kevin just can't catch a break, can they? Gloria has just dumped them for a bigger fish. It must be somewhat hard to get anyone to take your child advocate initiative thing seriously when your lawyer is chasing after every gold-digging homewrecker in the continental USA. How in the world did Deanna-the-teacher, Katie v 2.0 , Stephanie Snuffalupagus and Hailey Glassman all manage to slip through Gloria's net?

Roll Call

Let's see ... it's been a full two days since the last episode so I took a quick check to see if GWOP and Truth Breeds Complete and Total Transparency are still open for business.

Yep. They are. No surprises there.

Sharla even plans to keep GWOP open for as long as people still want to talk about the Gosselins. Never let it be said that Sharla's not a public servant. A true world humanitarian that one. By talk, of course, she meant 'exploit' because when you continue to beat a dead horse it becomes its own form of exploitation. Yeah, if anyone exploited the Gosselin kids for their own enjoyment, it was Sharla, Julie and Jodi. But heck, when you're such a staunch child advocate as they are (cough), I suppose the boundaries of child exploitation get a little blurry. It's sorta like when the pro-lifers blow up the abortion clinics and kill everyone inside them.

I won't mention that the filming of new episodes actually stopped ages ago but then GWOP and Truth Breeds a Bunch of Jealous Little Brats in Maryland were never really about child advocacy in the first place.

As I suspected, our life happily continues here even though the show is now over. Unfortunately, Dancing with the Stars is now over too so it appears we're stuck with Monday Nite Football or whatever gory crime scene show is on the other channels. I'm even sick of "Designed to Sell." The fate of cable TV in this household is dire. Stacey, Clinton and Candace Olson are the only folks currently saving it. Okay, props to the Food Network too.

If Kate plus 8 comes back on the air, I'd like to see more "fun stuff to do at or near home with kids" episodes (like the backyard camping and Emeril cooking episode) and less luxury vacations. We don't have a dairy farm in our backyard but I did find one a few hours away that gives tours. The trip to the firestation was a good idea too. An embarassingly obvious one too.

Sorry Sharla. In preparation for 'Kate Plus 8, I've preemptively taken the blog name "Kate without Pity" out of circulation but I would be willing to sell it to you for $650,000. Cash only. I'm sure you understand my concerns about your credit.