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Click here for iwhyawli's tongue-in-check version of GWOP's 954,012 posting rules. If you're wondering why GWOP has so many posting rules, you're not alone.

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Oh, this is a perfectly lovely sentiment

What in the heck is taking so long to crown Hailey Glassman as America's next Jackie- O? Could Hailey be any more lovely ? More polished? I think not.

"When the truth finally comes out, the public owes Jon and I a HUGE apology, until then keep hating n being blinded, Bunch of Helen Keller's."

It goes without saying, but perhaps someone will kindly point Hailey in the direction of a history book.

Don't bet your job ... oh wait... I mean don't lose any sleep waiting for that apology, darlin'

Who is he talking about?

According to, Jon's new lawyer had this to say earlier this week regarding the most recent ridiculous fest that is 'babysittergate'

"The content of the story is shocking ... The tabloids don't need a stimulus package from President Obama," Jon Gosselin's new lawyer, Mark Jay Heller, said Wednesday. "They simply need to find a storyteller each week who is out of work and can greatly benefit by being the recipient of $100,000-plus for a hot story concerning Jon Gosselin, which, for the most part, is sensational regardless of whether or not it is verifiable or true."

He's presumably talking about this Stephanie woman's mother, but um, the same can be said for Hailey Glassman. She's a storyteller. She's out of Work. She 'greatly benefits by being the recipient of $100,000-plus for a hot story'.

Is that any way to talk about your client's soulmate, Mark Jay?

I'm not sure how much longer I can stand to give Jon advice that he ignores, but if your brand new lawer is quoted saying "regardless of whether or not" or "benefits by being", get another new lawyer.


If it's true that the German Shepards must go back to the breeder, the iwhyawli household will be more than happy to adopt them.

We love doggies, especially shepards. Especially gorgeous shepards. Especially gorgeous brother and sister shepards who are sweet and used to being around kids. As long as they will not (or will learn not to) eat our kitty cat, our loving home awaits.

Contact Our people will call your people.

Viewed the View

Okay, thanks to Mrs. Know-it-All, I can now say that I've viewed The View episodes with Kate Gosselin. Both of them. Just Now. On the Internet.

In bullet points:
  • What the hell is up with Whoopi Goldberg outfits? Seriously. Monday's get-up had to be a TV costume handmedown from Judge Judy that had also spent the last six months covering someone's outdoor patio furniture.
  • Joy Behar did not annoy me as much as I thought she would, suprisingly. I actually laughed at the "who's that woman with the haystack on her face" comment. That said, I still think of Joy Behar as the quintessential GWOPPER (ie., scowly, always bitching about something, her way or no way, bitter). Unfortunately, it will most likely be another 5 years before I watch this show again and I'll never really know if my first impressions of Joy Behar were wrong.
  • When you watch the show on the Internet, why would anyone click Replay to re-watch the Bank of America commercials?
  • Taylor Swift, her dress and her shoes: absolutely gorgeous. Her singing: flat. Kayne West: complete jackass. Beyonce: may need to start watching the twinkie intake.
  • Kate did very very okay I thought. She's a guest host and so I think she's supposed to talk about herself a bit, especially since they asked her direct questions. I don't think she turned conversations to herself anymore than anyone else did. I heard that Sherry person comment about her 1 kid, lack of errogeneous zones, etc. etc. as many times as I heard Kate comment about herself. I could see Kate doing the show long-term and adding value even after Elizabeth from Survivor returns.
  • I happened to watch Tuesday's episode first and couldn't help but feel like no one on the show knew what they were doing, including Barbara. They were all fumbling around, glued to their blue index cards as if they got stuck in the printer and were only handed to them just as they were walking out on stage.
  • Next to Taylor Swift and Victoria Beckham, they all looked like complete cows.
  • Barbara Walters can't admit herself into a nursing home soon enough. And Oprah will hopefully choke on ham sandwich. Their interest, need, desire (whatever it is) to interview Jaycee Drugard is beyond bizarre and repulsive to me.
  • I heard nothing on these two shows that I hadn't already read on and\or didn't already know. Except for Whoopi Goldberg's comments on the hermaphodite, I also don't believe I heard too many viewpoints. It was two hours of promoting other shows or new products.

The Making Memory Competition

Kate: 1
Jon: 0

Ha Ha Ha.

That fishing trip (both of them if you ask me) was a miserable hell. Mud, flies, cow poop, swamp, humidity, stench. The only thing missing was a dead body. Jeez Jon, use your head.

In any case, I'm not sure this whole making memory competition is a good idea. Everybody chill.

Is Today the Big Day?

If I remember correctly, Kate will be co-hosting The View sometime this week, possibly today and tomorrow. I'd ask what network and what time but I can't watch. Gotta work so that I can pay for the GWOPPERS' healthcare. Perhaps there will be a re-broadcast somewhere.

Fair is fair. If Jon is co-hosting a major, award-winning daytime TV show any time soon (even one as insipid as The View), let me know and I'll be glad to announce that too.

Jon? You gonna be on anything soon ? COPS? Policewoman of Broward County? Cheaters?
Mudwrestling with Tanya Harding?

Good luck today, Kate Irene.