Rules for Posting

Click here for iwhyawli's tongue-in-check version of GWOP's 954,012 posting rules. If you're wondering why GWOP has so many posting rules, you're not alone.

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Faking Christmas

How do kids do that exactly? Fake Christmas, I mean. Seriously, Kevin, you're pathetic. I don't even think Jewish kids could fake excitment over Christmas.

Assuming it actually happened, asking a bunch of excited little kids to jump and down and act all goofy on Christmas morning is what you consider 'psychologically harmful' ?

How about when you (cough) make them hide behind the couch with the lights out and shout "Surprise!" at their Mommy's birthday party? Is that okay?

How about when you (cough) park them in Time-Out and then make them say they're sorry when you know damn well they're not sorry for shit. Dat okay?

How about when you make them lie about their ages in order to get into Disney World for less (cough)? If stuff like that is pyschologically harmful, I know some kids in Columbia Maryland (cough) who probably need to be institutionalized.

I don't exactly know what the point of today's hearing was, Kev, but it's been a long time since a governmental event has needed to have a point. However, I did think that the floor length, banquet style table cloths were a nice touch. Hope that didn't cost too much extra. Most taxpayers are a little short on cash these days.

Myself, I thought the hearing meant to question the adequacy of Pennsylvania's child labor laws --- a worthwhile discussion any day. Unfortunately, it sounds like YOU thought the point of today's hearing was to charge Jon & Kate with child abuse.

Let me ask you something, you fucking idiot. Are Pennsylvania's child labor laws adequate? Or, um, don't we know because you and Old Glory Hole elected to sensationalize the event with a bunch of fake drama?

Once upon a time, you were the guy who changes the filter in my furnace twice a year. Now you're a child psychologist?

Don't make me watch the whole thing, Kev. Can my kid still have a paper route?

Do I need to fire my 8th grade baby-sitter?

Is the hearing over, Kevvy, or will be you be testifying (cough) again tomorrow? Make sure all the folks are aware of these little factoids:

1. Your wife gave gum to three years old. It's true, Kevin, don't deny it. We have it on film. Do you realize those kids could have choked on that gum? But I guess you can't be psychologically damaged when you've just choked to death, eh?

2. When Jon went to get his ill-fated hair plugs, your wife hauled her sick kids over to the Gosselins house in order to babysit. Here's a warning, toots. You purposefully expose my kids to illness and you'll never hear the end of it. Unless you want to know what psychological damage truly feels like, you'll keep your sick kids at home.

Now that I think of it, I don't believe I have received your application to GWOPWOP's Parenting Study yet. Chop chop, dude. I wouldn't want to miss the next congressional hearing.

Hello to Week 5

Ladies and gentlemen, I do believe this great country of ours just told GWOP (and Bruno) to kiss it.

Congratulations to Kate on your promotion to Week 5. Ca-ching!

I'm no James Carville, but it might behoove this latest hearing-holding Congressman (whoever he or she is) to watch this show. He would see that for every GWOP voter there appear to be 20 GWOPWOPPERS.

Baby Steps

Well you may think this post's title is directed to Kate and has something to do with her really great improvement tonite on DWTS Episode #4, but you'd be wrong. No, I direct these gentle words of encouragement to the lamebrain judges on this dumb ass show.

Great job, judges, you stupid jackasses. You let up on Kate like I hoped you would but opted instead to lay into everyone else. You've taken baby steps in the right direction, I guess, but what is it with you morons? Your comments about Niecey Nash's dance were so especially infuriating that you forced me to say a bad word in front of my kids.

Here's a couple clues, you unfeeling pinheads.

1. When someone's dance is dedicated to their deceased brother, you don't find fault with it. I don't care if she tripped and knocked out her two front teeth during that dance, you don't find fault with it. Honestly. You have to learn something like this on the Internet? From me? Good grief. Is decency and tact something only Americans have?

2. I know you judges would like us to think you don't miss a step during any of these dances. Incredibly, you somehow missed that Niecey Nash is an overweight, black comedienne and her dance partner is a 30 pound, small-boned gay man. AND .... THEY WERE DANCING A RUMBA! For Len, of course, the dance was a [british whine]bit boring[british whine]. Len, you're an idiot. Those two couldn't be more opposite yet they managed to make me and the rest of the universe completely forget all that whilst watching their dance. Their dance was lovely.

I may now understand why my goofy husband watches sports with the sound off.

DWTS Week 4 Prediction

Here's my official prediction for tonite's Week 4 Episode of Dancing with Stars. SPOILER ALERT! Don't read any further if you don't want know what's going to happen.


Kate will dance with Tony. Yes, folks, I'm that good at this.

My psychic powers also tell me they'll dance a tango. Just a feeling I've got.

She'll dance it poorly, just like any other 35-year-old single mom from rural Pennsylvania with 8 little kids, a deadbeat ex-husband and zero dance experience on live television would dance it.

Tom Bergeron and Brooke Adams will act like human beings should act when anyone dares to do something they've never done before.

Meanwhile Carrie Ann Innaba, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli will act .... just ... completely ... disgusted .... on the mistaken belief anyone really cares what those three think, especially since we've all now watched the farce called DANCE WARS. Bruno may faint he's so disgusted.

The GWOPPERS will be overjoyed. Sharla will feverishly try to photshop another interpretation of Bruno's poignant commentary (assuming she can understand him). The GWOPPERS will then hoot, holler and applaud Sharla as if she's Lucille Ball herself. I'll have to post another thread to ask someone to explain it to me.

Iwhyawli will be overjoyed at another opportunity watch the GWOPPERS mock someone
who is doing poorly.

Kate, TLC and ABC (or whatever network DWTS is on) will laugh all the way to the bank.

As it should be.