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Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #1

As per usual, the readers of gwopwop have far better ideas than I.


Today marks the start of a new feature here where sort of like Oprah's Book Club, we begin the paragraph-by-paragraph analysis of Jon Gosslin's recent interview with the fine folks at

Jon's responses during this interview are so outrageous that I'm still not convinced this interview isn't a spoof. Let it never be said that iwhyawli doesn't always try to give Jon the benefit of the doubt. It's much easier for my own sanity to believe this interview is some sort of parody than comments any human other than Adolph Hitler actually made.

Here's Question #1 of the interview:

ParentDish: So, what's going on?

Jon Gosselin: I'm just trying to be as cordial as possible. I messed up at the beginning and now I want to be a nice guy, make better decisions and do the right thing.

Let's Discuss.


iwhyawli said...

Okay, I'll start.

The juicier stuff comes later in the interview but we probably should analyze in order.

I love the complete and total open-endedness of the first question. Jon could have have answered with almost anything and he immediately chooses to talk about himself. Nancy Grace hit the nail right on the head. It's all about him.

A less self-absorbed person might have said something like "oh gohs, parentdish, so much is going on. The twins are recently back at school. The sextuplets just started school. The twins have a birthday coming up. There's been lots of travel for both Kate and I. We're really trying best to keep things at home normal as possible for the kids."

But nope. He immediately gravitates to talking himself and his "mistakes" while conveniently leaving out all the completely shitty stuff he did SINCE his big "epiphany".

I'm not too sure when this interview was held, but we know (from the interview itself) it was AFTER he cleaned out the bank account. He's also claims to be talking from a Philadelphia restaurant and we know his recent travel: LA to NY to Phillie on the twins' actual birthday. So it's most likely the jackass actually said "I want to be a nice quy" within minutes/hours or day of reading (some of) Kate's email message aloud to the tabloids.

Yeah, Jon, "nice guys" do that all the time. eyeroll.

Anonymous said...

Sit back, relax and enjoy while I hack on moms who like to pass judgment on other moms and dads.

Albiet a rag on Jon

iwhyawli said...

Oh I get it. You must be one of those women who have no identity other than "mommy". That's why you can't tell the difference between ragging on Jon's parenting versus Jon's character.

mkb77 said...

He's trying to be cordial. To whom? Is it being cordial to go on television, claim to have tried to communicate with your soon to be ex wife and say you despise her? Is it cordial to hold up a bank transaction as "proof" that he didn't take out 230,000 (don't even get me started on that stupid proof he was waiving around).

He messed up in the beginning. Beginning of what? His marriage? His seperation? What?

Yup, Jon, it's all about you. Maybe that's why Kate had to lead you around by the freakin ring in your nose cause God know you wouldn't be able to figure anything out on your own.

As for anonymous 9:41, if you don't like us ragging on Jon then just crawl back under the rock from whence you came. Or go hang out with the Gwoptards over in the land of Gwoptardian.

Nesse said...

I am very excited for upcoming parts of the manifesto!

By saying that "now" he wants to be nice and do the right thing, he is admitting that he has not been nice and has been doing the wrong thing. One step forward. Too bad he didn't stop there.

Marissa said...

Anonymous said...
Sit back, relax and enjoy while I hack on moms who like to pass judgment on other moms and dads.

Albiet a rag on Jon

October 11, 2009 9:41 AM
Put down your Bon Bon and get up off that couch, fatass.

Anonymous said...

Do you think Jon Gosselin is getting a fair shake in the media?
Yes. Any problems he has he brought on himself. 66% 12,859
No. The media is not being fair to his side of the story. 21% 4,099
Not sure. Let's see what he does over time. 13% 2,562

Note on Poll Results
Total Votes: 19,520

Anonymous said...

Hailey is a very sweet person, the nasty Kate fans do not give her enough credit.

iwhyawli said...

Well I wouldn't say I'm a Kate fan, it's just that Kate hasn't done anything insanely stupid or outrageous lately.

What would Hayley get credit for exactly?

Anonymous said...

What are the nasty Kate fans supposed to give Hailey credit for? Being an unemployed 22-year old who is living in the $5K mo apartment of her 32 yr boyfriend who happens to still be Kate's husband? What kudos does Hailey earn from this? For this Hailey deserves credit?

Roberta said...

Can we just skip to "I am not bashing her?" and then list all the ways he bashes her in that interview?

Haters can bite me said...

Anonymous said...
Sit back, relax and enjoy while I hack on moms who like to pass judgment on other moms and dads.

Albiet a rag on Jon

October 11, 2009 9:41 AM

Oooooo...ouch! I'm melting! I'm melting!

Do you feel better now hater? How long is it going to take you people to figure out that we don't give a shit about you?

Guess I'd better go lick my wounds and go to bed now. The haters have spoken afterall. (big eyeroll)

Don't hold the elevator said...

It is funny how Jon interprets a simple question like "What's going on?". Surely you all have met people like him before? I know I have. Well, only one thank God. People like this are so self absorbed with what is going on in their own head, that the question is lost on them. The person is so obsessed with saying out loud what is on THEIR mind that he/she probably didnt even hear the question. They just know it's their turn to spill every single minded thought that's ever ran through their heads. (And this is new for them too because normally they don't have to think all that much) But when they do, watch out, because they are going to tell you about it, even if you don't give a shit.

Kind of like the person youre stuck in the elevator with and make the mistake of saying "Good Morning" and they respond with 48 sentences of BS and follow you to your office so they can finish their woe is me story of why they pissed in their cheerios.

Yep, Jon is not the kind of person you ever say "Good Morning" to in the elevator.

WWHD vs WWJD said...

Jon Gosselin will be starting a line of jewlery with WWHD (what would Hailey do) ..instead of WWJD (what would Jesus do) beings he worships her to tell him right and wrong and has her handle all of his scheduling etc. Maybe Hailey is why penalty, Jonathan, and Mady were all spelled wrong if she is manning the phone contacts.

WWHD...she would smoke her troubles away with the money Jon took from Kate.

WWHD...she would have Jon wear Douchewear so she can gloat and have Jon brag about her self proclaimed fashion sense.

WWHD...she would crawl under the covers with a guy whose divorce is not even final and spank his lard ass while Jon screams WHOSE YOUR DADDY!

WWHD...she would twitter about Helen Keller and call Kate, Khatezilla and be one of the GWOPpers.

WWHD...she would teach Jon that the only thing to love about her Jewish heritage is the bread and food they both crave after smoking joints before attending their classes.

WWHD...she could teach Jon how to go head first into a potted tree in a hallway while humping it at the same time in a drugged stupor.

WWHD....she would line up rag mags and the most gossipy, un-credible media outlet sources for EXCLUSIVE interviews for Jon to make appearances on, all in one weeks time, while in LA and then from the bar to two online sources and make her master look even more masterly delusional and a man of no integrity. Why? Because that is the man she is so in love with! (wait until she wakes up from her weed induced fog)

WWHD...she'd say eff it and go get a boob job!

WWHD....she would encourage Jon to retain the most scam-artist like lawyer for the Gosselin divorce in order to get her thrills, like a mad cow gwopper, to encourage a game of major dirty play. All the while never being a mature responsible adult concerned how her boyfriends bad behavior and choices under her influence of right and wrong, could hurt her boyfriends 8 precious darlings.

and the list of WWHD continues.

Gloriana said...

I'd give Hailey credit for: sharing her drugs, being open to new experiences, whether they be with animal, vegetable or mineral (and posting the resulting pics online), and putting up with Jon Gosselin. I'm sure it's not easy - a famewhore's work is never done.

The real ladeedah! said...

Is anyone completely sure Jon can read? I mean, he keeps throwing the word cordial around but I doubt he is able to read the definition well enough to realize his behavior is the exact opposite.

Oh yes, Nancy Grace for that interview with Jon you completely rock!

Kate throws him under the bus? Well, Jon, to be fair you did lay down in the middle of the road and not only told the bus to hit you but directed them on how best to do it. Kate has pretty much left you alone. That may make her somewhat culpable as idiots need 24 hour monitoring but hey jackass that isn't her job anymore!!! Looks like the tipsy-todler your banging has her work cut out for her!!

Heather said...

I agree. I am waiting for it to come out this is a joke. It has to be, right??? What a dumbass.