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GWoP Bitchfest in Review for week ending 06/12/09

Here's a summary of this week's GWoP bitchfest.

Sorry in advance -- this f-ing list is longer than the Laura Linger Manifesto. I'm also certain that I've overlooked something. Help iwhyawli out?

At GWoP, endless harping is an art form.

Prepare to commence eye-rolling.

In no particular order:

  1. Water-gate
  2. Excessive-and-unnecessary-display-of-iPhones-gate
  3. Age-Inappropriate-Bib-gate
  4. Who-takes-kids-clothing-to-a-Dry-cleaner-gate
  5. Kate-just-went-to-the-god-damn-spa-in-San-Diego-and-now-she's-going-again!-gate
  6. Loud-and-Excessive-cackling-gate
  7. Extravagant-$125,0000-motorcycle-gate
  8. Front-Buckingham-Fountain-Gate-gate
  9. Kate's-Filthy-Feet-on-Picnic-Blanket-gate
  10. Excessive-Wearing-of-Denim-Skirt-gate
  11. Open-toed-shoes-on-scooter-gate
  12. No-Helmet-Wearing-gate
  13. Excessive-Use-of-Paper-Plates-gate
  14. Excessive-Cracking-of-Gum-gate
  15. Inhumane-Crating-of-Dogs-crate
  16. Suspiciously-deferred-kindergarten-gate
  17. Selfish-Request-for-Crunchy-Onions-Without-Asking-Others-gate
  18. Inappropriate-Use-of-Spoon-as-Sex-Toy-gate
  19. Spatula-as-Weapon-gate
  20. Garish-Choice-of-Nail-Polish-Color-at-Unnecessary-Spa-Visit-gate
  21. Failure-to-address-Emeril-as-Chef Emeril-gate
  22. Failure-to-eat-Dinner-with-Emeril-in-Dining-Room-gate
  23. Quit-Honking-the-Scooter-Horn-else-Naptime-gate
  24. There's-No-H-in-Jon-on-Scooter-gate
  25. Excessive-Starbuck-Cup-Sightings-on-Kitchen-Counter-gate
  26. OCC-guys-not-allowed-in-McMansion-gate
  27. Always-Blurred-Out-Not-A-Nanny-gate
  28. Mady's-Choice-of-Stuffed-Turtle-for-Cara-as-Most-Useless-Gift-gate
  29. Jon-will-no-doubt-kill-himself-in-tragic-motorcycle-accident-and-then-what-gate
  30. Garlic-Peeling-Marathon-gate
  31. Only-One-Smelly-Strawberry-Per-Child-gate
  32. Why-Do-We-Never-See-the-Kids-Drink-Milk-gate
  33. Hidden-Toy-in-Joels-Coat-Pocket-gate
  34. Proper-Pronuniciation-of-Our-versus-Are-gate
  35. Missing-Pool-Fence-gate
  36. Failure-to-recognize-white-stuff-as-macaroni-gate
  37. 100th-Show-was-Really-96th-Show-gate
  38. Kate's-Inappropriate-Sniffing-of-that-one-Hairy-Guy's-Hair-gate
  39. Why-the-Fuck-Is-Joel-Riding-A-Bike-with-Training-Wheels-Again-gate
  40. Emeril-Flirt-Fest-using-Wonky-Eye-gate
  41. Real-or-Fake-Boobs-gate


They're Creepy said...

Not sure if it was this week or last, but how about
*pumping-gas-in-heels gate
*she-said-she-never-pumps-her-own-gas gate
*How-dare-she-wear-a-hat gate

iwhyawli said...

geez, how could I forget all the pumping-gas-gates!

Me = idiot.

Thank you.

oh brother said...

Don't forget "Referee-Gate" which for normal people was a reference to J&K having enough kids to coach a soccer team.

Of course, wouldn't you know that Cupcake Gina saw it differently.

cupcake gina said...
I think there was a serious fight between J & K that was editted out.

Did anyone notice? When the OCC guys first showed up there was some mashed up editting Junior was standing out front in between John and Kate.It cuts to junior mid sentence saying he feels he should be wearing verticle black and white stripes. Obviously stating he felt like a referee after some sort of fighting between J & K that was editted out.
6/12/2009 9:09 AM

Troll Hunter said...

I'm not sure if this is "gate" worthy, but today, June 12, 2009, was Jon and Kate's ten year anniversary. Why do I know this? GWOP!

Jordyn said...

How these idiots draw conclusions is amazing. You know what I saw when watching American Choppers show with J&K? I saw a family that is healing, a husband and wife who both acknowledge the
"rumors" with humor and laughed at them (could things have been really blown out of proportion?), and of course 6 little kids who were laughing and having fun.

As for all the Kate haters, I think you are mighty jealous that she has it so together.

shana1 said...


Gates said...

But GWOP does it to protect the children!!!

Christine said...

Cant leave out Kate is a slut who wears pink underwear gate!

I can just imagine the amount of magnifying of those pics that went on yesterday in the GWOP households. Those fat hags are so jealous of Kate that they even sent on pics of Kate squatting down in her own yard to the 700 club. Apparently part of "protecting the children"(except for Hannah of course)is monitoring underwear. Everyone know REAL mothers wear grandma panties.

K8 Looks Gr8 said...

They are in love with Kate. They are thrilled to talk about her underwear and magnify it and talk about it some more.

I wonder if Preesi wants her underwear pics examined?

Christine said...

I think anyone examining Pressi's underwear needs to wear a hazmat suit. That one is nasty mcnasty!

IShatziedMyself said...

I'm not sure where to put this. Is it possible to have an open comment section?

ManicNarcissism said...
Here is what I have for dates:

5/12 - Baltimore Airport in transit to Detroit with Steve Neild
5/11 - LA Times says TLC retooling show and scrambling for 5/25 season premiere.
5/11 - Kinko's and bank - Reading, PA
5/11 - Target - Reading, PA
5/10 - Tanning Salon - Reading, PA
5/10 - Picked up take-out
5/10 - Mother's Day/Tup's Birthday
5/10 - People Magazine interview - New York City, NY (people claim's she is doing interview on Mother's Day Weekend but the pics on 5/8, we know she was in AR on 5/9?)
5/9 - Walmart - Bentonville, AR
5/8 - Took pictures for people magazine

My point was... why would you say upcoming since the days after that in Michigan ended her tour. I just have a feeling it wasn't mothers day. I think it will be earlier but they might even say it is "since mother's day fell on the tup's birthday this year."

6/14/2009 4:34 PM


IShatziedMyself said...

Kate is a dirty ho and her backyard is some central PA Red Light District:
Draw Some Parallels said...
kaitlinsnana said...
...and if you don't want pictures of your ying-yang on the internet, use your back yard. The black dress in Pet Smart is just too revealing. Why not avoid anything that will cause your children pain in the future.
It seems like every (daily) photo we see of her now reveals a dress or top that is VERY revealing. She is flaunting. She is posing. She is putting herself on display. She's advertising herself. I went to Amsterdam once because I was in Holland where my grandfather was born. Some of my friends went to the Red Light district which, back then, had scantily-clad women advertising themselves in brothel windows right on the street. It almost makes you wonder what's the diff. I wouldn't be so harsh, but those crotch shots were just inexcusable.

6/14/2009 5:08 PM

In the photos, we see Kate talking to the cops, but those nuts ignore that. They don't seem to understand that Kate did not invite them onto her property.
Kate doesn't need to sell her ass. Despite whatever opinions I may have of her, she does work.

quack_is_whack said...

I may have over looked it but was:
Kate-cleaned-that-fridge-way-TOO-long-and-then-had-the-audacity-to-buy-a-NEW-one-Gate mentioned? That gate was my fvaorite.

Quiltart said...

How about "Kate's Weight Gate"...
For a while, they complained that her butt was too big. When she started working out and losing weight, they said she was to engrossed in her appearance. If she was a fat slob with greasy hair dressed in tight jeans or sweat, they would love her! Skinny, she's a threat! Real moms don't care how they look in the jealous land of GWOP!

Anonymous said...

I think my favorites are how they dissect each move of both Jon and Kate and then assign a whole bunch of scenarios they know are REAL.


Anonymous said...

Really those people are crazy and need a life! Why would you watch a show and critique EVERY SINGLE THING if you really had a life? What losers.