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Announcing Jon's Celebrity Scum Pool

So today. I'm over there reading what the princesses have to say about stuff and I learn that Jon Gosselin and Michael Lohan are now new BFFs.

Good grief. First Hailey-the-Skank, then the Star Reporter and now this.

It's as if Jon is deliberately choosing to hang out with the scummiest people on the face of the planet. An interesting custody strategy.

Anyhoo, a fun little idea came to mind.

Do you know that game called "Celebrity Death Pool"? It's a contest where family, friends, workmates or in this case perfect strangers earn points by predicting which celebrities will die within the year. The untimely deaths of younger celebrities earn more points than say, Phylis Diller.

Hey, I don't invent these games. I just play them, and perhaps we could do a similar something here.

Post your list of 5 celebrity sleazeballs who you feel are certain to be photographed with Jon in the coming days, weeks and months. You'll earn points for each correctly guessed slimebucket. You must post a link to a photo that features Jon and said "celebrity" in order to claim your points. If any given celebrity appears on multiple lists, it's the first person who posts the picture link that wins the points.

Scummier, no-talent, has-been "celebrities" will earn more points than say, Walter Cronkite. Let's consider the rules and point scale to be a work-in-progress but it should look something like this:

  1. ?? pts: Ex Convicts, Felons, Drug Addicts, General Scofflaw
  2. ?? pts: Playboy Bunnies, Bimbos, Porn Stars, Perverts, Creepy old\young Men
    No-Talent Offspring of More Famous Parents
  3. ?? pts: Politicians, Family Members of Politicians, Political Pundits, Journalists, Terrorists, Evil Dictators
  4. ?? pts: Scary-looking Musicians
  5. ?? pts: Sports players who date\impregnate anyone in Category #2, #3 or #4
  6. ?? pts: Lawyers who embarrass the profession (e.g., Gloria Allred, Nancy Grace)
  7. ?? pts: General Media Whores (e.g., Serena, Julie, Aunt Jodi, Perez Hilton)
  8. ?? pts: People from France

I'll post my Celebrity Scum list shortly. All bloggers from all blogs are very welcome to play. Will it be Jon who unites us, restoring peace and harmony to the world?

33 comments:

It Will Happen said...

Heidi Fleiss

Mickey Rourke - he ends up beating the shit out of Jon when Jon tries to talk bikes.

Joe Francis – producer of Girls Gone Wild

Jason Mesnick - The Bachelor

Bruce Jenner

Anonymous said...

Bros Before Hos
The Jon Gosselin Healing from PTSD Tour
Sponsored by GWoP

-Nick Hogan
-Nas (they can compare parenting or not)
-Dennis Rodham
-Some wrestler dude everyone thought died, but didn’t
-Any Baldwin brother (not including Alec)

iwhyawli said...

"It Will Happen's" list will be tough to beat but here's iwhyawli's list.

1. Danny Bonaduce
2. That creepy papparazi guy with the soul patch who used to bag Britany before the conservatorship. Can't remember his name but it sounds like the name of that prisoner camp for Al Queda and Taliban soldiers (Abu Ghraib?).
3. Billie Baldwin
4. Drew Peterson
5. Joey Buttafucco

I had a tough time picking from what's turning out to be an extensive list of scumbags, and I don't even have an issue of People handy.

iwhyawli said...

LOL! Okay, that's just freaky! I also wrote "any Baldwin brother" but I didn't want Laura Linger to yell at me for cheating so I changed it to Billie! HA HA HA

Anonymous said...

Ok I never agree with you all,but Fleiss,Francis & Buttafucco are right on! More scum in them,then celebrity.

Bohemian Psychic said...

Paris Hilton. I predict a ring will be involved. Extra points because Paris is in France.

Anonymous said...

Tabloid reporter quits due to date with Jon
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2009/07/breaking-news-tabloid-reporter-kate-major-resigns-amid-jon-gosslein-scandal

iwhyawli said...

Extra Points? For sure! And gazillion-duple points if the picture is of Jon and Paris wearing Ed Hardy crap in front of the Eiffel Tower.

Anonymous said...

HELP MEND JON'S BROKEN HEART TOUR
Sponsored by GWoP

-Sienna Miller (married man with multiple children = no problem!!!)
-Amy Winehouse (an obvious choice)
-Any Contestant on “Rock of Love” (take your rules and shove them Laura Linger)
-Brooke Hogan (you know it’s gonna happen)
-Kelis (she’s looking for another deadbeat dad, I believe)

BohemianFart said...

Any parent of:
a Lohan
a Kardashian
a Hilton

Any Hogan

Denise Richards
RayJay
New York

Any Housewife...

Any Toddler in a Tiara

iwhyawli said...

Attention! Attention! I think someone may be claiming "Barbara Waters" but he/she posted it in the wrong thread. You may not want to put Barbara Walters on your scum-bag lists until we resolve this open question. Matt Lauer, however, is still available.

Anonymous said...

Aunt Jodi


...the blog world would explode

iwhyawli said...

LMAO @

"Any toddler in a tiara"


Well played. Ha Ha ha ...

Anonymous said...

These folks may not be the scummiest of the scummy (well, Julie is), but they have served Jon well in keeping a continuous media spotlight on him. Thanks, Child Advocates!!!

-Jane Valez-Mitchell
-Dr. Laura
-Julie Kamauf Brown Doherty
-Paul Peterson
-The next cute blonde that works for a tabloid

Kathy G- said...

Iwhyawli beat me to the Danny Bonaduce list as he was my first choice...LOL, but here goes.

1. Danny Bonaduce

2. Janice Dickenson

3. Rosie O'Donnell

4. Hugh Hefner

5. Dr. Drew Pinsky

Kathy G said...

Ok, I'm going to change my list since I have one of the same ones that Iwhy has and I'm going to change it to Nancy Pelosi...LOL. That woman is like the plague.

1. Nancy Pelosi

2. Janice Dickenson

3. Rosie O'Donnell

4. Hugh Hefner

5. Dr. Drew Pinsky

Anonymous said...

Angelina Jolie owns this topic.

momo said...

uh oh-- someone is on DirtyDisher's shit list!! lol

Possibilities Pt1 said...

He'll hang out with Rowdy Roddy Piper and both get DUI's and Jon will experience his first arrest photo shoot. His second with Andy Dick. His 3rd in a horrible car accident scene with Gary Busey.


He'll next be dating coked out Amy Winehouse and on the side doing a little Mischa Barton and top off the cherry on the sundae with a roll with strung out Courtney Love.

He'll go on the Rock of Love tour bus this season and help Bret decide who the skankiest woman is to date, beings he has the talent to "pick them", with the worst boob jobs, eyebrow and hygiene. But she'll be able to snort a line so lady like, Jon will help her walk in her stilletos and pick up what leftovers Brett tosses out!

He'll go on Celebrity Apprentice and totally embarrass his family more then he already has, and will suck the minute he has to speak and be voted out on week one, the Donald will say Jon Gosselin, you suck as a dad, you suck in any career, you suck at sucking, so, YOU'RE FIRED! He'll be voted out before Mickey Rourke. He'll go sulk with Dennis Rodman and talk about how to hide the blood shot eyes and stoned facial expressions when near the camera. They'll then go hit the town together Rodman style, wrack up 50 g's in booze tabs trolling drag queens and worn out women.

Possibilties Pt2 said...

He'll twitter Stevie-O and try out for a stunt act on Jack-Ass after they inhale some nitrous together.

He'll fail at Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab and be kicked out for trying to boink all the coke whores and breaking the step program, but hook up with Heidi Fleiss, to learn the contacts of how he could start up his Pimp career in stealth mode, a list of the worst of the worst lays int he world.

His ADD will kick in, and he'll get bored, then he'll take Denise Richardson's reality TV spot...after she ditches him,

and....


He'll get in contact with Ryan Seacrest and be offered an E! reality show on Jon Gosselin, Who's Next dating reality show.

He'll join the likes of George Michael and Iggy Pop and Willie Nelson and exchange twitter messages of, "I feel your pain bro".

He'll go party at the Playboy Mansion at the Boobies and Butt Annual Convention, be seen in a photo shoot with Hef and be secretly hooked up with Holly Madison, while decked out in a horrid Hawaian speedo. Hef will give him a weekend stay free at his Playboy Suite in Vegas after being photog'd at THE PALM with all the young crowd that he can so hang with, where again another photo shoot will occur.

He'll go "ride" with Dean from Tori and Dean and start calling his chicks, "Mama"

He'll be caught at Hell's Kitchen hanging with Gordon Ramsey.

Oh he has sooooooooooo many possibilities, his messed up career could go in so many directions.

Hopefully though, after Jon's above Playboy Jon Phase, for his children's sake, he'll wake up and be a Dad to his kids and stop the insanity before they are all grown up and hate him and estrange themselves from him and his disgusting dates.

The adult kids will contact A&E and try one last time for a TV show on INTERVENTION to get their dad the help he needs.

Oh and also I think Stacy and Clinton from What Not To Wear will try to get them on their celebrity portion of their show some time soon. I just feel that will be by next year.

(You can contact Moon for a psychic reading, she may be able to verify that!)

The end!

Oh almost forgot, they'll try to get him on next year's I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here and he will learn the ropes from Janice Dickinson.

He may even make it on Dr. 90210 yet, for some facial touch ups, a "moob" transplant enhancement, the 6 pack tummy package and some 12 inch enlargement to his Vienna sausage "down there." (For Porn Filming options). He'll come out looking like an Asian cross of George Hamilton and Kenny Rogers and Carrot Top!!

I also sense some photos with Mary Kate Olson (think she turns him down though) and Whitney Houston does give him a chance, if I am channeling this correctly. Robert Downy Jr. is showing up in my prediction as well.

He may date Lindsey Lohan behind Samantha Ronson's back, but only once, then Samantha puts the smackdown on Jon and a Domestic is called in at the Ronson Mansion.

Just a couple more options, in case he runs out. You're welcome Jon!

Phew-Out!

Anonymous said...

Mel Gibson
Bobby Brown
Vince Vaugh
Garth Brooks
P diddy/puff daddy..whatever his name is really..sean p. combs

Peri is a stupid pig said...

1) Speidi Pratt*
2) Dr. Phil
3) That girl who pooped on the stairs that one season of Flavor of Love
4) Tila Tequila
5) Andy Dick

* I know technically two people, but come on, they are joined at the hip.

wondering said...

1. Flava Flav

2. Tia Tequilla

3. Joey Buttafuco

4. Christopher Knight

5. Kathy Griffin

Anonymous said...

Bill Clinton

William Hung

Anna Nicole Smith's Ex Howard

Zsa Zsa Gabor's prince of a hubby

Larry Fortensky

Anonymous said...

Crazy Moon! Seeing as if she posted today that she is basically not going to be around anymore...I think she is next in the Jon Line!!

BB Fan said...

Evel Dick
Chicken George
Dr. Will
Boogie
Ronnie Talbot (hope he is voted off soon, L.O.S.E.R)


(Big Brother past and present houseguests.)

456 la dem duh said...

Jodi in her original man form
Kevin's manhood
Kevin's mistress'
Julie's pimps'
Bonus points if Jon finds to key's in to gwop's lesbian harem forum.

Why? Because they all poop in their unawares and it stinks.

ladeedah said...

anon 12:18

I don't see that happening. Jon would have to get hundreds of shots to go near "BM-Moon's nono place."

No I'm afraid Jon would never run the risk of having his "little Jon" fall off or worse. No matter how much of a public service that would be.

Anonymous said...

OMG LMAO!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

ladeedah said:

anon 12:18

I don't see that happening. Jon would have to get hundreds of shots to go near "BM-Moon's nono place."

No I'm afraid Jon would never run the risk of having his "little Jon" fall off or worse. No matter how much of a public service that would be.

YOU GOT ME!!! LMAO!!! Didn't think about that...But hey she is "leaving" her blog you never know...OK I am going to vomit now!!

Megan said...

OMG!!! IWHYAWLI!!! Moon is on your Ass!!! She has a big "ole" post about you...

http://www.musingsfromthemoon.com/2009/07/25/iwhyawli/

I am finally not going behind Anonymous
anymore....I was on the "moon" site until I voiced a republican view..Hope I don't get kicked off here for that. I feel if you work hard and can play hard good for you. When I see these fools on GWOP saying the economy is bad how can you throw it everyone's face. blah, blah, blah, blah.......Yes, do I feel bad for the kids sure , not a NORMAL LIFE BUT what celebrity kid has that????

baby momma, the other BM made the celebrities!!! Funny they don't bitch about Suri Cruise covering her face and crying but oh no if it's the Gosselin kids ....Better watch out!!

Anonymous said...

iwhyawli- Well I gotta hand it to you,if you were wanting everyone to know who iwhyawli is & the name of your site,than you have succeeded in doing so.

Anonymous said...

Donald Trump - Jon on next "Celebrity" Apprentice, perhaps?

Hulk Hogan - a camrade for Jon in how to survive a messy (and expensive) divorce; also loves Ed Hardy douchewear

Bret Michaels - another fan of Ed Hardy douchewear, motorcycles, double earrings, skanks; balding, trying to relive his youth, too

The "Growing Up Gotti" brothers -there are no words...

Aubry from "Rock Of Love" - seriously, she's the new shop manager on "LA Ink" -WTF???

Holly Madison - sorry, but it had to be said (ex of Criss Angel - need I say more?)

Carlos Diaz - claims to be "Team Kate", but would probably flip on a dime for the exposure and publicity (DOUCHE)

The entire cast of "Jackass"

The entire contestant pool from "Rock of Love" - all 3 seasons