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Click here for iwhyawli's tongue-in-check version of GWOP's 954,012 posting rules. If you're wondering why GWOP has so many posting rules, you're not alone.

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Proper Divorcing

The GWOPPERS were so delighted to hear the big divorce news and now they're bitching up a storm that Jon & Kate aren't divorcing properly. The nerve.

How dare Jon & Kate botch the divorce that the GWOPPERS and Julie so painstakingly crafted. Jon's certainly doing his part to add to the ridiculous-ness. Jon's no-class, know-nothing, skanky slam piece certainly feels entitled to talk smack. But things aren't nearly bitter enough on Kate's side, are they? Kate has been altogether silent on the whole matter. Why so classy, Kate? Why the heck aren't you imploding? C'mon! Set Jon's clothes on fire. Toss a glass of merlot in someone's face! Back the car over him! The GWOPPERS need you to get the mud-slinging going. The hiatus is almost over!

You wouldn't think that all those perfect GWOP parents with their perfect GWOP marriages would know so much about proper divorcing, but apparently there is nothing that this group doesn't know. There is even a resident expert on driving phobias amongst their ranks.

According to some clown from the Chicago Sun Times, an unnamed "insider" reported that the twins now receive counseling to help them understand that the divorce isn't their fault.

Girls, let iwhyawli help you too. You can trust iwhyawli. Your parents are divorcing because Serena (nhrn), Julie and Aunt Jodi took it upon themselves to unleash a tide of papparazi and a swarm of miserable, jealous haus frau on your family soley because your ex-Aunt Jodi has the self-confidence of a miniature gnat. No marriage can withstand that level of third-party pressure and interference. Trust is a very fragile thing, girls, and a marriage is nothing without trust. You just can't have third-parties constantly casting seeds of doubt upon your marriage. It will collapse. So blame Julie, girls, and not yourselves.

Jon & Kate can't even get their kids help without interference from the GWOPPERS. A "child advocate" with the highly-serious name of 'TV Snark' weighs in with this:

TVsnark said...
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with the girls getting therapy. I think it's wonderful and wish they had been getting help since the show began. However, it is none of my business. It is none of your business. It is absolutely nobody's business that 9 year old girls are getting therapy. We are adults but how about when they go to school this fall? Kids are cruel and these girls already have many strikes against them. Their classmates do not need to know that they are in therapy. They do now. HIPPA laws don't count when it's commodities we're talking about.

First of all, roseanna anna danna, it's ... HIPAA.

Second, what a complete relief it must be to Jon & Kate to have your stamp of approval. But why the shock over reading it in a newspaper? Journalists, especially tabloid journalists, never conduct themselves according to any code of ethics. Unless of course it's protecting the identify of their unnamed, HIPAA-violating source. Where is your outrage for the Sun Times? Oh I get it. You were being sarcastic. It's "no one's business" but yet you read every possible word that is published about the Gosselins, you repeat the shit that is no one's business and you have a blog with links to all 9,519 Gosselin blogs. Yep, that must have been sarcasm.

Thirdly, who are these cruel kids who will tease the girls? I assure you that they aren't my kids. My kids are kind. My kids are non-judgemental. I can only conclude that these cruel kids must be GWOPPER kids, who are modeling the behavior of their GWOPPER parents.

Funny how that works, isn't it?


Please Don't Take My Kate Hate Away said...

There obviously is no shame in the Gosselin, TLC, or one of the weekly magazine's camp. As shown here, Mady has already been singled out. When will one of these groups pay attention to the children's needs, wants, wishes, and desires? Word on the street is that she had to cry for five minutes just get a bathroom break at the Jonas Bros concert. This is after the infamous drink of water from months back. These are all public episodes. What do the children have to go through to get private attention?
Posted by Sharla on 7/24/2009

Sharla took another wrong turn on that street she gets her word from.

She's mad Kate can be a good mom. Sharla prefers the kids to suffer.

Too bad Sharla

JulieIsAHomeWrecker said...

Iwhy, well said.

TVSnark is the LAST person who should talk about putting too much information about your kid out there. I'll leave it at that. Many others know what I am talking about and I care more TVSnark's kid than to repeat what she herself has put out there.

I'll make sure never to read the Chicago Sun Times again. I guess the newspaper business really is dying. I expect this crap from US Weekly, but from an actual daily newspaper? Not cool. Not cool at all.

Just so my point isn't lost - good for Kate for getting the girls counseling. We don't need to know about it, however. Of course, dying newspapers and tabloids know that the GWoP Masses live and breath on their daily "Gosselin Fix" and they are too happy to provide it.

Here's a hint GWoP: get yourselves and your kids into counseling. Stop hiding from YOUR problems by obsessing over the Gosselins.

Anonymous said...

Your really geting to the trolls on the other sites.

Anonymous said...

I think I love you. That was pure perfection.

Side-note: I love how the GWOPpers think Kate must be drunk because she dared bend over in her dress to pick something up. Yeah, that's completely logical. And another one is asking where she's staying when she's not at the house. Nope, not stalkerish at all. But all for the kids, of course.

And they wonder why she has body guards.

Anonymous said...

From Gwop:

"Emmy said...
gherkin said...
new pics on Jared. Kate is falling out of her dress. OMG. Cover up

She should NOT be dressed like that in front of her little children! What she wears when she's out with other adults is her own business, but dressing that way in front of her kids is gross. What child wants to know that much about his/her mother?"

Wait until Emmy finds out about breastfeeding.

Dee said...

Iwhy, the Pigs think you're Baby Mama!! I know, pick yourself off the floor....

FmrSeekritOne said...

I used to be a member of the seekrety seacrety board. I finally asked to be taken off because I couldn't deal with the pettiness, let alone the constant analyzing of every.thing.Kate.does.

They talk about other shows and stuff but the main part is all about plotting to take Kate out.

Anonymous said...

TV Snark is right. It's NOBODY'S business. So why is TV Snark talking about it? Why? I didn't know about it because of the Chcago Sun Times. I know about it because Gwop linked to TV Bigmouth's blog. And TV Bigmouth is commenting about it and telling everyone. What a dope.

The stupid. It burns.

Anonymous said...

the only viruses on these hate stupidity, jealousy, hatred and too much free time on their hands!