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Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #8

Question 8 fundamentally reveals the reason why I think Jon should be shot and it has nothing to do with his other well-known douche-baggery: talking on a cell phone in a restaurant.

  • Rude to other restaurant patrons.
  • Rude to the person you're talking to.
  • Just plain unnecessary.

If the One Bullet Theory is ever put into play, I'm pretty certain I will immediately use my bullet on someone who is yapping into their cell phone (in a restaurant, on the train\plane, while driving, while crossing the street, in the cashier line at the grocery store, etc.)

People: The use of cells phones in public areas is meant for emergencies only. If I'm not hearing words like "cardiac arrest" during your conversation, I don't need to (or want to) hear your f-ng telephone conversation.

GWOPWOP PROCLAMATION #2: ONLY TRAILER TRASH YAPS ON THEIR CELL PHONE WHILE IN PUBLIC PLACES!

But I digress. Here's Jon's bizarro answer to Question #8, proving that he can turn any question into a discussion of his greatness. BTW, the population of Pennsylvania is 12.48 million as of the last census.

Question 8:

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PD: Where are you right now? I hear loud music in the background.

JG: In Philadelphia in a restaurant. There are 65 paparazzi following me in Reading so I don't stay there. Our Nielsons [ratings] are 11 million. That's like the population of Pennsylvania.
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7 comments:

Hi Jon! said...

The other 1.48 million persons have since moved out of Pennsylvania and specifically Reading to keep their daughters safe from Jon.

G'night Jonboy said...

There are 65 paparazzi following me in Reading so I don't stay there.
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Jon doesn't stay in Reading because his kids are there. He wants to reclaim his 20's, not be around 8 little reminders of his own failure.

Jons a cheater said...

NEW PHOTOS: Jon Gosselin Takes Girlfriend Hailey Glassman For A RideNEW PHOTOS: Jon Gosselin Takes Girlfriend Hailey Glassman For A Ride
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Posted on Oct 18, 2009 @ 01:40PM print it send it
Splash NewsMost observers look at Jon Gosselin and see a world falling apart. Not Jon! Saturday night, he entertained girlfriend Hailey Glassman and her parents in New York City, and he looked like he was sitting on top of the world.

PHOTOS: Jon & Hailey Party In New York

Hailey's father, Dr. Larry Glassman, performed Kate Gosselin's now-infamous tummy tuck surgery during the early days of Jon & Kate Plus 8.

The happy foursome took a horse-drawn carriage to the famed Plaza Hotel where they had dinner at The Oak Room. On their way there, Jon posed for pictures with a group of girls who were out celebrating one of their birthdays.

PHOTOS: Kate Gosselin Has A Picnic With Her Kids

PHOTOS: Jon Gosselin Kisses Hailey Glassman

Jon and Kate Gosselin are now embroiled in a smack-down of a divorce with both sides accusing the other of stealing money.

Kate's Lawyer Slams Jon Over Money

Jon has also managed to get the newly re-named Kate Plus 8 shut down, at least for now, claiming his kids don't want to film anymore. But in a blockbuster exclusive interview with RadarOnline.com, former babysitter Stephanie Santoro says that's not true.

iwhyawli said...

hee hee I must say that Hailey is wearing a most attractive Dalmation shirt/frock in that carriage ride picture. Maybe it's a Halloween costume. Normally when I see a dalmation riding in a open-air buggy, I think of Sparky the Fire Prevention Dog.

BTW. Real New Yorkers don't take carriage rides (or for that matter, go to the Oak Room, the Empire State Building, ice-skating at Rockefeller Center, etc., etc.). Puhleeze.

Lauren said...

Honestly, I can't wait for the judge to tear into Jon in a few weeks. Jon, you owe 180,000 to your acocunt. Do you think it looks good to be out and about in NYC? Well, maybe your father in law to be picked up the tab? Or your pap friends gave you some more cash for the pics? Better be saving your pennies, Jon.

Anonymous said...

Yep, you better live it up Jon, because my guess is your next address will be the PA Dept. of Corrections.

Maybe Hailey will bake him a cake. She appears to enjoy a lot of it.

Anonymous said...

I don't trust his math. He had trouble counting how much he stole, much less trusting he can count paparazzi correctly. What if it was 29 or 32 and he is seeing double. When Jon says some thing, always include the disclaimer for the Jon Factor.

He over exaggerates like a GWOPper.