Happy Fourth of July

Celebrate Freedom, y'all !

Even for the Americans who embarrass us, like Julie does.

Celebrity Scales

If you haven't hopped over to Matt Semino's article Celebrity Scales to chuckle at the comments, take a look.

I don't know whose doing it (it's not me) but excellent work. There's nothing I enjoy better than some blowhard announcing he's both attorney and world's smartest person and then choosing to back all those credentials with a 4-page thesis about a TV show.

Here's one of my fave comments:

--------------------------------------------------------
Bohemian Moon
My first experience in lovemaking was with an animal and it was wonderful. I become one with the primal force that is nature. I touched the phallus of the creative life energy that surrounds everything that draws air. The moonbeams danced upon my naked white flesh as fido introduced me to the eternal. That is how and why and when I knew that I was here on this planet to lead the bestial to the celestial. To draw the sheeple to me. To be a light in the darkness. Sometimes I have my husband David bark for me to put me back in time of where i experienced enlightenment.
-------------------------------------------------------

NC Resident, this is YOUR life!

Sadly, I know even less about 'NC Resident' than I do 'Fiona', but I am certainly intrigued by all the recent comments made here.

I'm not sure this picture of Gomer Pyle best captures the inner essence of "NC Resident" but heck, I can always change it, right?

[music plays]

NC Resident, this is YOUR life?

huh?

Fiona, this is YOUR life!

"This is your life" was a TV Show which aired from 1952 to 1961, and again in 1972. I have a vague memory of the 1972 series and occasionally you'll find old episodes on cable channels. Fiona probably remembers the entire series.

[wikipedia]The format of the show consisted of the host (Ralph Edwards), who would surprise a celebrity and, consulting his "red book", conduct a biography of the subject in a live television studio. The subject would be presented with family members and old friends, reunited with old acquaintances, and often shed a tear when a personal tragedy was recounted. [wikipedia]

This youtube episode features Jayne Mansfield. Like Kate Gosselin, Fiona and the GWoPpers would have hated Jayne too. Watch the video for comments that Jayne makes and you'll understand why I just said that.

Enough of Jayne. Back to Fiona.

When different folks started requesting main page threads for 'Fiona' and 'NC Resident', the "This is Your Life" show immediately came to mind. iwhyawli likes to learn about new people, so why not?

I'm not too familiar with either blogger but have a hunch all that's about to change. The Gosselin kids and I will look forward to reading your most favorite Fiona memories. All links to quotes, stories, verbal reprimands, TOS violations, blog bannings, etc., etc. are welcome.

[music plays]

Fiona, this is YOUR life!

ut-oh

Obox & Isles-Bats in the Rafters

Just when I thought today could not get any more perfect, the G's secret hilarious movie creator strikes again!!!

Enjoy, y'all!

Obox & Isles-Bats in the Rafters

Thank you for the link! I'm off to watch again.

-----------------------------------------------
UPDATE: You'll also want to see this one by Scorcese and starring Julie.

Selling his sweet young ass on a Phillie street corner

Open Discussion Thread - 07/01 - 07/02

I-Why: could we have an open discussion thread?

I want to know which one of you fools posted this at 4:38 am, inspired by Pennmommy. I would have added an evil clown character.

Still Trying To Live said...
As a child (4 years old) of divorce then molestation by my step-father who my mother married within 1 year of my dad leaving (I still haven't told my mom and I'm 44 and they are still married) our lives (my sister, and brother) have been filled with therapy, medication and always looking for a father figure. My brother became an alcoholic and my sister divorced, had a child out of wedlock and then remarried.. Fortunately in our early 40's we are just now getting our lives together. It was Hell. My mother to this day would deny the divorce had anything to do with it and the fact that she would slam our real Dad pretty much all the time in front of us and others. She also would never let us see him and made us call our Step father "dad". She and him both used us as pawns in their divorce. My Dad wanted freedom and moved out of state leaving all three little children. I still feel like a "lost child" deep inside although I am older. I think this could be replayed easily in the Gosselin children, that's why I feel so strongly about the children being properly protected. My parent's divorce was played out in front of family and friends and strangers that would move in and out of our lives, just like the Gosselin's without the camera. Strangers would take care of us all the time. I hated it.

People get divorced, just not in such a public manner. I think my parents made that mistake, as my father was well known in his circles as was my mother. So in our world it was as big as a stage open for all to see. They need to stop, regroup, get rid of all the strangers around their house and work on something that well, works for everyone. Don't talk negative about the other parent, EVER!!! it messes you up.

The Gosselin children are in for a long road of therapy I fear.

7/01/2009 4:38 AM

Submit your July 4th Plans Here

As a public service, gwopwop is offering everyone the opportunity to submit their Fourth of July plans here. Reknown parenting experts -- Aunt Jodi, Julie and Serena -- will then review them and comment as to whether that's an acceptable way to spend time with your families. And if not, you'll still have 3 days to plan something else.

The iwhyawli's will wake early for our town's parade. We'll then spend the day at the beach followed by fireworks and a bonfire. In honor of Kate, I'll be making her yummy flag cake. Since no one has yet to create an internet video calling anyone else a whore, all of my brothers and sisters (10 of us!) and their kids will be present too. A great American day will be had by all.

Are these plans gonna be okay with you, Julie?

:: crosses fingers ::

The PENNMOMMY Codex (Part 4)

When last I left you in this codex, Serena had dropped completely off the face of the Gosselin blogoshere on 09/19/08 and wasn't 'officially' seen again until 1/10/09. That's approximately 3 months and 22 days. If we are to believe a certain tipster, that would be a 90 to 120-day jail sentence.

But during Serena's "blogging vacation", we do find a few casual references to Serena and even a potential sighting. iwhyawli also learns inadvertently that Sharla lives on the West Coast, which is something you all probably knew. Right next door to PENN MOMMY, I presume.

1. On 10/01/08, 'sabrinasmom' tells us in the We apologize for the Inconvenience thread that is was Serena who e-mailed her the link to the emergency GWOP blog (no "s") that was created after 'WatchOverThem' inadvertently deletes the real GWOP blog.
   
   sabrinasmom said...
   How did you find the other blog?
   
   I am guessing you mean the "without the s blog" - I know in my case, Serena sent me the information when I e-mailed her when I encountered the problem.
   10/01/2008 8:00 PM
   ...
2. A day later on 10/02/08 and in the same thread, 'tmc' offers similar information.
   ...
   tmc said...
   I am so glad you are back up and running. Thank you to Serena for answering my email and giving me the temporary blog to view. This is a great blog!!!
   10/02/2008 5:52 PM
   ...
   Assuming we can believe "sabrinasmom" and "tmc", my best guess is that Serena had yet to begin her jail sentence. From other research or information provided by you all, it appears that GWOP violated TOS and\or WatchOverThem accidentally deleted the board (you pick) on 09/28/09.
   ...
3. On 12/04/08, we stumble upon Sharla commenting in the "Tups Turn 50 thread" in which she says:
   ...
   Sharla said...
   No, manny, Serena did not create the blog. She was here during the time you mentioned. She enjoyed engaging the readers much more than I ever have, but that takes a toll and is why I seldom take that path. Yes, today is an exception.
   12/04/2008 3:19 PM
   ...
   Trouble is, I cannot tell to who, what or why Sharla is responding. There is no 'manny' elsewhere in the thread and no one is asking about Serena or who created the blog. In other words, there is no prior context for Sharla's comment unless it was deleted for some reason.
   ...
4. Also on 12/04/08 and just a few hours later in the Need Helpful Saving Tips thread, we see what may be the first rumblings of a returning "Serena" who clearly seems to have heard the exhausted Sharla's earlier call for help with comment moderation.
   
   An important note: whoever made the following post did so without logging in with their official Serena blogging nic but doesn't the poster's voice clearly sounds like the Serena (not her real name) that we've all grown to love.
   ...
   Serena said...
   Well, the reason why I have money & can live in a nice house, and newer car (by the way it is just a 05 Honda – not a Lexus) & have no debt is because of what I learned when I was poor.
   ...
   And the reason that J&K live where they do now and have what they have now is NOT because of what they learned when they were poor. That is the point of the criticism.
   ...
   The only thing they have learned is how to exploit their children to avoid poverty, hence the hypocrisy of their presuming to "teach" us their "money-saving" tips. They are pretending to teach us from their own experience when in fact they are not doing any such thing. If there ever was a day when Kate actually clipped coupons, it was a few months at most... the majority of their climb out of poverty was over the backs of their children. Perhaps someone should commission them to teach THAT lesson instead; then we wouldn't have any hypocrisy to complain about.
   12/04/2008 4:32 PM
   ...
   It's really rather touching. The mother bird calls out to her lost fledging sparrow who has somehow found her way back to the nest (after what appears to be a short stint in prison).
   ...
5. Off topic but potentially significant. I learn that Sharla lives on the West Coast whilst nosing around in the O'Reilly factor thread on 12/05/08? Am I the only one that didn't know this? Isn't California on the West Coast? Is this post intentionally meant to throw me off?
   ...
   Sharla said...
   I see I put 5 and 8 for the show as that is my time. As you can tell by the blog time, I'm on the west coast and frequently don't know what is time shifted and what isn't except for the major broadcast channels.
   ...
   You probably have the right of it with the OJ sentencing. I'll leave the post open so whoever sees the rescheduling first can add it. Thanks.
   12/05/2008 5:39 PM
   ...
6. Also on 12/05/08 in the Free Discussion 12/4 – 12/11 thread, Sharla responds to Justina:
   ...
   Justina said...
   I think this blog is great and so are the mods but I do miss Serena. Why did she leave and will she be returning? How about the other original mods?
   12/05/2008 6:41 PM
   ...
   Sharla said...
   There are two of us here who are from the original group. I would welcome Serena back, but I don't think there is much chance she'll be back permanently. Her reasons for leaving are private. We didn't have a falling out or anything like that.
   ...
   There is a lot more work on the blog than we ever expected and people tend to burn out after a few months.
   12/05/2008 6:49 PM
   ...

Meanwhile at the DwoP (Duggars without Pity) blog:

1. We see that the blog is created on September 14, 2008.
   
2. The first official post is authored by Serena who posts prolifically here on September 14 as well September 15 before vanishing from this board too.
   
3. After September 15, new threads by anyone lie dormant until September 27, 2009 until Sharla takes the helm.
   
4. We do not see Serena post again at DWoP until 1/13/2009 – the same date she re-emerges at GWOP.
   
5. On 1/28/2009 at DWoP, our wonderful Serena, who seemingly attracts people with insider information like flies to horseshit, creates a thread titled " Insight from an Insider." Yesirree, the brother-in-law of Anna Duggar (whoever that is) comes forth with incriminating information about the Duggars. Yeah, reet.

So, here we go again, everyone. Not 3 days out of prison and we have Serena back in operation and using the exact same modus operandi.

More incredibly, people are seeming to buy it YET AGAIN!

Okay, that's all I have for now.

Am I on the right track or heading down a dead end? Anything new there? I have a few more cryptic inside tips that I'm admittedly struggling with. I definitely need help.

If I'm not posting your stuff, there may be a reason. Don't give up on me.

We Pause Now for a Commercial Break

• The iwhyawli's will be joining the Gosselins in divorce court if I don't hang this up for tonite. I'll be back tomorrow after the jackass I married is safely on the golf course.
...

• While I'm away, may I suggest that you once again enjoy the most excellent video clip of all time throughout the entire Gosselin blogosphere:
  ...
  http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20090408093205124
  ...
  Oh how I wish I created that! Makes me chuckle every time. Someday I hope the creator steps forward for her (his) applause.
  ...
• Other important gwopwop threads are:
  
  More Proof that Screwing Your Sister Pays
  
  and
  
  any or all of Julie's Deleted Blog Posts 1 through 13

Nite Nite.

The PENNMOMMY Codex (Part 3)

I’m back. If only the PENNMOMMY crapola weren’t so convoluted and long so that I didn’t have to split things up.

So where was I?

Oh yeah, Serena’s blogging vacation.

1. There are no direct sightings of Serena at GWoP as thread starter or commenter from 9/19/08 through 01/10/09.
   
   She abruptly vanishes and returns as abruptly without outgoing or incoming fanfare whatsoever.
   
   That said, it's my understanding that the PENNMOMMY hoax occurred somewhere during this time period and that a whole boatload of GWoP threads and posts were also deleted to cover all footprints.
   ...
2. Serena may also be the only GWoPper who completely disappeared during this time period and then eventually came back. There were definitely a few regulars who seem to have blog-icided. But comments or threads by most of the other regulars (e.g., iluveyore, secretmonkey, fiona, sharla, etc) are still found somewhere during that period.
   ...
   Gwopwop central is still working this angle although I’m not entirely sure it’s significant.
   ...
3. Specifically, Serena's last post on 09/19/09 was a thread titled "I'll take my hurricane over your miserable life" (<-- linky-poo). It's a re-posting of a high-drama comment from 'carolina' who claims she'd rather lose everything to a Hurricane (Ike?) than be guilty of pimping her kids like Jon & Kate. Yeah, okay, whatever. For my purposes, it’s certainly a non-descript thread upon which to launch one’s blogging vacation. Poof! Serena vanishes.
   ...
4. On 01/10/09, we finally and suddenly see Serena re-emerge unnannounced in the comments of the "When Should or Will the Show End" thread where (knock my socks off) she announces her creation of yet another blog for "Toddlers and Tiaras" (<--linky-poo) on this very same day. Crazy coincidence!
   
   Of note regarding TTWOP:
   ...
   a) only Serena's name is tied to it, unlike GWoP.
   b) Serena clearly doesn't have the same HTML prowess as Sharla cause TTWOP's silver buttons look worse than mine here at GWOPwop.
   c) the TTWOP P.O. Box is identical to GWOP in Saint Louis
   d) TTWOP is a flop with no entries since Feb 10, 2009
   ...
   To me, it's now convincing that it's "Serena" who lives in the Saint Louis area. This first occurs to me somewhere in the middle of the Julie-Gate thread.
   ...
   By chance, is anyone here sleeping with the PostMaster or a Mail Carrier in the Saint Louis area? We need to get the real name that is associated with that P.O. Box.
   ...
   Kidding, sorta. Hopefully by now, the FBI is following this blog.
   ...
5. After the 01/10/09 comment, Serena’s very next GWoP post is a thread-start on 1/13/09 titled “Something We’ve Been Wanting” (<--linky poo) which introduces the GWoPpers to some free-lance writer named Jess who wants to write an expose on the real Jon & Kate story.
   ...
   Not sure about you, but I find it so very odd that after such a prolonged absence, Serena suddenly rises out from the swamp to facilitate this magazine article.
   ...
   Not only does she not offer a “Hello!”, “I’m Back!”, or a “Did you Miss Me?”, you also won’t see any “happy you’re back, Serena” or “where the heckama have you been, Serena?” comments.
   ...
   You’d think at least one GWoPper would say something to acknowledge her highness' return, right?
   ....
6. Immediately following the 1/13/2009 "Something we've been wanting" thread, Serena is immediately back to full-throttle bloggin diarrhea--- i.e., posting frequently again in that same thread and forever again at GWoP happily after).
   

So odd. And yes, I have a theory about what's going on here but I may need help from those of you who were there.

Part 4 coming up.

The PENNMOMMY Codex (Part 2)

After posting the first installment of "The PENNMOMMY Codex", all sorts of helpful peeps from throughout the Gosselin blogosphere sent great information about this hilariously strange episode in GWoP history.

Some of that information I've published and some I'm keeping private (at least for now). I remain as convinced as ever (and relieved) that GWoP is one big scambo -- nearly once derailed by the gdnnoppers and precariously close to jumping track once again.


Amidst the flurry of received messages, at least one reader here encouraged me (in a very intriguing fashion) to further investigate Serena's "blogging vacation".

Seriously y'all, you and your computer lingo is half the battle. What the heckama is a blogging vacation?

Well, I'll tell you.

After not having found any significant details regarding any trip that Serena may have taken (except for the alleged Julie meeting), it became apparent that "blogging vacation" might mean a prolonged blog absence. In message board vernacular, I'm told by today's youth that a permanent and voluntary absence from the message board is called a boardicide. Since Serena's absence from GWoP was not permanent, I guess it's only a vacation.

(stay tuned for Part 3)

No wonder I can't keep this Child Advocacy stuff straight

According to Sharla, the death of a pedophile is "sad news".
Here's the original post (including the typo, tsk tsk) and the link.

---------------------
Tabloids and Websites - June 29
With that last week's sad deaths and news, here's hoping we won't have much Gosselin news for this section this week.
--------------------

Application for GWOPwop's Parenting Study

Earn Big $$$

I'm a tad disappointed that no GWoPpers including Jodi and Julie have stepped forward so that I can sit in judgment of their parenting, marriage, hair, shoes, recent lump-sum mortgage payments, etc., etc.

..

Perhaps it's my recruiting process that requires better definition so I created this Parenting Study application (see below). You GWoPpers need only fill it out and e-mail it to me and I'll post it here for our review.

..

If I choose your application, I'll pay off the remainder of your mortgage just like radaronline did for Aunt Jodi. Click here for details.

..

If I select Jodi or Julie, I'll pay for the cosmetic surgery that prevents people from harassing them anymore for what they did to those darling, cutey-patootey Gosselin kids. I'll even agree to use Linda Tripp's surgeon. He did a good job I thought.

...

Send your completed applications to iwhyawli@gmail.com.

...

GWoPwop
Parenting Study

$$$ Official Application $$$

General Information

1. First Name [ ] Last Name [ ]
2. Location [ ]
3. Marital Status [ ]
4. Sex [ ]
5. Total Children in Household: [ ] Boys [ ] Girls
6. Any multiples? [ ]
7. How many of the above children live with you because you launched a successful campaign to have them taken away from their biological parents?
   [ ] Boys [ ] Girls

Blogging Information

1. What is the URL to your primary blog [ ]
2. How many other blogs do you have? [ ]
3. What is your most often used blogging ID [ ]
4. How many other bloggings ID do you have?
   [ ] 0 [ ] Less than 50 [ ] More than 200

Employment Information

1. Length of Current Unemployment [ ]

Parenting Information
(Include pictures, if possible)

1. What is the color of your cell phone?
2. What color and type of unna-wears do you wear?
3. What type of shoes do you wear while pumping gas?
4. What is your favorite kitchen utensil to use as a sex toy?
5. What is your general philosophy on giving water to people who are thirsty?
6. Who is El Salvador?
7. If your hair was a tree, what type of tree would it be?

Writing Sample
Describe the shittiest thing you ever did to one of your siblings.

_____________________

Good Luck!