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Click here for iwhyawli's tongue-in-check version of GWOP's 954,012 posting rules. If you're wondering why GWOP has so many posting rules, you're not alone.

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Open Discussion: 7/26 - 8/1

July 26th! Where has the summer gone.

Please use this post for discussion about GWOP that doesn't have a better spot elsewhere. This is where all those I don't know where to post it comments go also. Thank you.

Sorry, we don't have a Facebook group. We have lives. :)

Proper Divorcing

The GWOPPERS were so delighted to hear the big divorce news and now they're bitching up a storm that Jon & Kate aren't divorcing properly. The nerve.

How dare Jon & Kate botch the divorce that the GWOPPERS and Julie so painstakingly crafted. Jon's certainly doing his part to add to the ridiculous-ness. Jon's no-class, know-nothing, skanky slam piece certainly feels entitled to talk smack. But things aren't nearly bitter enough on Kate's side, are they? Kate has been altogether silent on the whole matter. Why so classy, Kate? Why the heck aren't you imploding? C'mon! Set Jon's clothes on fire. Toss a glass of merlot in someone's face! Back the car over him! The GWOPPERS need you to get the mud-slinging going. The hiatus is almost over!

You wouldn't think that all those perfect GWOP parents with their perfect GWOP marriages would know so much about proper divorcing, but apparently there is nothing that this group doesn't know. There is even a resident expert on driving phobias amongst their ranks.

According to some clown from the Chicago Sun Times, an unnamed "insider" reported that the twins now receive counseling to help them understand that the divorce isn't their fault.

Girls, let iwhyawli help you too. You can trust iwhyawli. Your parents are divorcing because Serena (nhrn), Julie and Aunt Jodi took it upon themselves to unleash a tide of papparazi and a swarm of miserable, jealous haus frau on your family soley because your ex-Aunt Jodi has the self-confidence of a miniature gnat. No marriage can withstand that level of third-party pressure and interference. Trust is a very fragile thing, girls, and a marriage is nothing without trust. You just can't have third-parties constantly casting seeds of doubt upon your marriage. It will collapse. So blame Julie, girls, and not yourselves.

Jon & Kate can't even get their kids help without interference from the GWOPPERS. A "child advocate" with the highly-serious name of 'TV Snark' weighs in with this:

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TVsnark said...
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with the girls getting therapy. I think it's wonderful and wish they had been getting help since the show began. However, it is none of my business. It is none of your business. It is absolutely nobody's business that 9 year old girls are getting therapy. We are adults but how about when they go to school this fall? Kids are cruel and these girls already have many strikes against them. Their classmates do not need to know that they are in therapy. They do now. HIPPA laws don't count when it's commodities we're talking about.
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First of all, roseanna anna danna, it's ... HIPAA.

Second, what a complete relief it must be to Jon & Kate to have your stamp of approval. But why the shock over reading it in a newspaper? Journalists, especially tabloid journalists, never conduct themselves according to any code of ethics. Unless of course it's protecting the identify of their unnamed, HIPAA-violating source. Where is your outrage for the Sun Times? Oh I get it. You were being sarcastic. It's "no one's business" but yet you read every possible word that is published about the Gosselins, you repeat the shit that is no one's business and you have a blog with links to all 9,519 Gosselin blogs. Yep, that must have been sarcasm.

Thirdly, who are these cruel kids who will tease the girls? I assure you that they aren't my kids. My kids are kind. My kids are non-judgemental. I can only conclude that these cruel kids must be GWOPPER kids, who are modeling the behavior of their GWOPPER parents.

Funny how that works, isn't it?

Announcing Jon's Celebrity Scum Pool

So today. I'm over there reading what the princesses have to say about stuff and I learn that Jon Gosselin and Michael Lohan are now new BFFs.

Good grief. First Hailey-the-Skank, then the Star Reporter and now this.

It's as if Jon is deliberately choosing to hang out with the scummiest people on the face of the planet. An interesting custody strategy.

Anyhoo, a fun little idea came to mind.

Do you know that game called "Celebrity Death Pool"? It's a contest where family, friends, workmates or in this case perfect strangers earn points by predicting which celebrities will die within the year. The untimely deaths of younger celebrities earn more points than say, Phylis Diller.

Hey, I don't invent these games. I just play them, and perhaps we could do a similar something here.

Post your list of 5 celebrity sleazeballs who you feel are certain to be photographed with Jon in the coming days, weeks and months. You'll earn points for each correctly guessed slimebucket. You must post a link to a photo that features Jon and said "celebrity" in order to claim your points. If any given celebrity appears on multiple lists, it's the first person who posts the picture link that wins the points.

Scummier, no-talent, has-been "celebrities" will earn more points than say, Walter Cronkite. Let's consider the rules and point scale to be a work-in-progress but it should look something like this:

  1. ?? pts: Ex Convicts, Felons, Drug Addicts, General Scofflaw
  2. ?? pts: Playboy Bunnies, Bimbos, Porn Stars, Perverts, Creepy old\young Men
    No-Talent Offspring of More Famous Parents
  3. ?? pts: Politicians, Family Members of Politicians, Political Pundits, Journalists, Terrorists, Evil Dictators
  4. ?? pts: Scary-looking Musicians
  5. ?? pts: Sports players who date\impregnate anyone in Category #2, #3 or #4
  6. ?? pts: Lawyers who embarrass the profession (e.g., Gloria Allred, Nancy Grace)
  7. ?? pts: General Media Whores (e.g., Serena, Julie, Aunt Jodi, Perez Hilton)
  8. ?? pts: People from France

I'll post my Celebrity Scum list shortly. All bloggers from all blogs are very welcome to play. Will it be Jon who unites us, restoring peace and harmony to the world?

GWOPWOP News Update

In bullet points:

  1. All signs indicate that Serena and Julie remain safely on blogging vacation. Record of Kevin and Aunt Jodi's recent lump-sum mortgage payment remain on public display at the Lancaster County web site.
    ...
  2. Incredibly, GWOP's great white tight controversy is now up to 300+ comments, with the GWOPPERS now insisting that the girls had to wear tights because Kate cut their toes off. Count your little piggies, kids!
    ...
  3. I have a thread about me at the secret GWOP board, y'all! Sadly, this link won't work unless you're one of the chosen ones.
    ...

Paging xsandlapper! Paging xsandlapper!

It didn't take me too long to figure out that xsandlapper is 1 of the 2 founders of the secret GWOP message board, especially since a helpful someone sent me that information.

The link to GWOP's secret message board can be found in the GWOP Secret Message board thread here. I'll go fetch it later and insert it here when I have more time today.

The existence of GWOP's secret message board is discussed at three completely different sites by completely different folks during three completely different time periods: Gosselinsdonotneedourpity, the princessess and now another board called 'brilliantbutbitter' or something like that. The GWOP secret message board is the board where the GWOP elite discuss their strategy for stalking the Gosselins, sharing pictures of their kids and choosing the inane "Kate-gate" du jour. As an example, yesterday's inane Kate-gate pertains to white tights.

Despite all this highly compelling evidence (plus evidence that I have not yet disclosed), we have folks in this week's Open Discussion Thread (and elsewhere) denying that such a board exists. HA! I imagine these deniers are same folks who would have us believe a) PENNMOMMY is real or b) the PENNMOMMY scam never happened.

Iwhyawli applied to the secret message board (as herself) and get this --- I was rejected!
This latest development leaves just three remaining options. I'd first like to appeal directly to xsandlapper for admittance.

***
Dear xsandlapper,

You seem like a nice enough person. Let me in. You'll be glad you did. If there is nothing to hide over there, why reject me? Let me in to the secret message board and we can put all this crazy confusion and ill-feeling between the blogs to rest. I'll hop on your board, take a peek around and leave quietly.

Let me know your thoughts.

Best regards,
iwhyawli
*****

Guess Hailey's Current Relationship Status

We have news in this week's Open Discussion thread that Jon's third girlfriend now makes an appearance causing iwhyawli to wonder whether poor 'ol Hailey has been forced to modify her relationship status in Facebook .

I wasn't lucky enough to get myself on Hailey's friend list before she went private and now there are 9,128 other Hailey Glassman's out there.

If only Julie were still around to give us "the truth".

Sigh.

I am left to guess at Hailey's current relationship status. Here are my guesses:
  1. Grounded
  2. Currently Held up in Customs
  3. Checking for STDs

What are your guesses?