What did Hailey Glassman get the twins for their birthday?
Judging by our scientific polling here at gwopwop, it looks like a gwhopping 53% of the everyone in the world believes Hailey Glassman would have been most likely to purchase a matching set of Hello Kitty bongs for the twins as their birthday gift.
Now that is an impressive assessment of a someone's character if I ever saw one. When the world is forced to think of Hailey, they think of a woman who would give drug paraphernalia to children as a birthday gift. That's so cute! Congratulations, Hailey. Clearly your work as a contributing member of society is already done.
15% believe she'd deliver the kids' bunny rabbit in a pot of boiling water. Maybe that'll be next year's gift when Jon converts to whatever religion his next girlfriend is.
14% were certain Hailey would give the girls her used underwear.
10% guessed Hailey would dig deep into the piggy bank and give them free Ed Hardy crap.
Just 5% said Hailey is the type of person who would sink to defacing pictures of Kate.
Open Discussion: 10/22 to until the front page fills up :)
Time for another open discussion thread! The last one already fell to page two because I have been feeling talkative.
Hope you are well.
Hope you are well.
Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #12 & #13
Oy vey! All these tangents about meddling and witchhunts and I've nearly forgotten about Jon's imminent conversion to Judaism. Switching over for challah bread is probably as good a reason as any other, what the heck. Wait till he tries a corned beef sandwhich or pickled herring. Yum!
I am not even going to try and understand why Jon would be nervous about dating a Jewish girl. Clearly Jon is guided by a giant set of stereotypes.
The rambling on and on about light traffic on Yom Kippur was far too humourous. Poor Jon just doesn't know when to shut up, does he? Invite Mom back for Christmas too, Jon. They'll all be in Miami.
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PD: That sounds fun. Tell me more about your interest in Judaism.
JG: I just went through Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur and learned about the new year and every Friday is the Shabbat dinner. I love challah bread. I'm learning about Jewish food, going to Zabar's. I love that place. I'm learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg and cheese and make an ass of myself. Hailey makes fun of me. My mom came to the city on Yom Kippur and asked where all the traffic was. I got from the West Side to Midtown in five minutes. She wants to come to the city every year on Yom Kippur.
PD: Are we going to see you converting to Judaism?
JG: I talked to Rabbi Shmuley a couple of times. He has nine kids. I was really nervous dating a Jewish girl. She's like the best girl ever. All my friends are like 'I'm so jealous' and I'm like, 'Stay away, she's mine.' She's the rock of my life. She's been through hell in the tabloids. They made up lies that she's a lesbian and she's doing drugs. We've both been through all this turmoil. And we just keep on loving each other.
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I am not even going to try and understand why Jon would be nervous about dating a Jewish girl. Clearly Jon is guided by a giant set of stereotypes.
The rambling on and on about light traffic on Yom Kippur was far too humourous. Poor Jon just doesn't know when to shut up, does he? Invite Mom back for Christmas too, Jon. They'll all be in Miami.
---------------------------------
PD: That sounds fun. Tell me more about your interest in Judaism.
JG: I just went through Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur and learned about the new year and every Friday is the Shabbat dinner. I love challah bread. I'm learning about Jewish food, going to Zabar's. I love that place. I'm learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg and cheese and make an ass of myself. Hailey makes fun of me. My mom came to the city on Yom Kippur and asked where all the traffic was. I got from the West Side to Midtown in five minutes. She wants to come to the city every year on Yom Kippur.
PD: Are we going to see you converting to Judaism?
JG: I talked to Rabbi Shmuley a couple of times. He has nine kids. I was really nervous dating a Jewish girl. She's like the best girl ever. All my friends are like 'I'm so jealous' and I'm like, 'Stay away, she's mine.' She's the rock of my life. She's been through hell in the tabloids. They made up lies that she's a lesbian and she's doing drugs. We've both been through all this turmoil. And we just keep on loving each other.
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The Meddling Epidemic
What is going on here? We have officially entered a new age of American witchhunts. It's downright distressing.
Yesterday at cnn.com, we have Star Jones weighing (pardon the pun) in on Gosselin matters. Today at radaronline, we have a video interview by some "client" of Mrs Balloon Boy who felt it necessary to get herself all gussied up and let the world know that the Balloon Boy family is /was homeless and living in squalor.
Star Jones? You have got to be kidding me. That woman was never relevant and correct me if I'm wrong but isn't she now selling carpet cleaner on QVC? She's her own laughingstock and yet she has the unmitigated balls to render a really ugly opinion about someone else on topics she knows zero about. Who exactly does she think is listening to her?
The client of Mrs Balloon Boy is even funnier. She's talks to us so very serious like as if she's being nterviewed by 60 minutes on grave national security matters. You.cannot.help.but.feel.that.every.word.she.is.speaking.must.be.so.very.important. If she had only practiced a few more times, I would probably not have been able to detect her total glee in getting paid to blab about a family's most private vulnerabilities. Wow, what a rush that must be ! To be the first person to completely screw a struggling family over!
How do we stop this?
Yesterday at cnn.com, we have Star Jones weighing (pardon the pun) in on Gosselin matters. Today at radaronline, we have a video interview by some "client" of Mrs Balloon Boy who felt it necessary to get herself all gussied up and let the world know that the Balloon Boy family is /was homeless and living in squalor.
Star Jones? You have got to be kidding me. That woman was never relevant and correct me if I'm wrong but isn't she now selling carpet cleaner on QVC? She's her own laughingstock and yet she has the unmitigated balls to render a really ugly opinion about someone else on topics she knows zero about. Who exactly does she think is listening to her?
The client of Mrs Balloon Boy is even funnier. She's talks to us so very serious like as if she's being nterviewed by 60 minutes on grave national security matters. You.cannot.help.but.feel.that.every.word.she.is.speaking.must.be.so.very.important. If she had only practiced a few more times, I would probably not have been able to detect her total glee in getting paid to blab about a family's most private vulnerabilities. Wow, what a rush that must be ! To be the first person to completely screw a struggling family over!
How do we stop this?
Sharla and Julie's Agony
Poor Sharla. She just can't decide whether she's "snark" or "child advocate".
Today at GWOP, we have a new post titled "New Post by Julie." Now the original post was titled "New post by Aunt Julie" but then someone (probably a gwoppwopper) pointed out that not even Jodi is a blood relative which makes Julie nothing more than some raving luney-tune in Columbia, Maryland who has no inside information whatsoever. The post title has since been corrected and the comments correcting Sharla have never been posted, of course. But Google Reader tells all.
I'm not sure I can bear to read "Aunt Julie's" new post. I'll bet my lunch money that she makes some sort of reference to the whacky Balloon Boy family. Reality TV is to blame. She now plans to crucify anyone for even *wanting* to put their kids on a Reality TV show. If Julie has her way, it won't be long before Julie is deciding who gets to have any children at all.
I'm officially renaming Julie "Herr Aunt Julie".
Has it been a year since Herr Aunt Julie deleted all her original blog posts? You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones which reveal the real reasons for her crusade to destroy Jon & Kate Gosselin. It's all because lil' baby sis Jodi (aka., Saint Aunt Jodi) done got herself booted off the show for wanting more money. Actually, Herr Aunt Julie's hatred for Kate dates all the way back to well before the twins. If we are to believe the folks who fill my email inbox, Herr Aunt Julie and Saint Aunt Jodi have been stewing in a pot of contempt for Jon & Kate since the absolute very beginning.
Today at GWOP, we have a new post titled "New Post by Julie." Now the original post was titled "New post by Aunt Julie" but then someone (probably a gwoppwopper) pointed out that not even Jodi is a blood relative which makes Julie nothing more than some raving luney-tune in Columbia, Maryland who has no inside information whatsoever. The post title has since been corrected and the comments correcting Sharla have never been posted, of course. But Google Reader tells all.
I'm not sure I can bear to read "Aunt Julie's" new post. I'll bet my lunch money that she makes some sort of reference to the whacky Balloon Boy family. Reality TV is to blame. She now plans to crucify anyone for even *wanting* to put their kids on a Reality TV show. If Julie has her way, it won't be long before Julie is deciding who gets to have any children at all.
I'm officially renaming Julie "Herr Aunt Julie".
Has it been a year since Herr Aunt Julie deleted all her original blog posts? You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones which reveal the real reasons for her crusade to destroy Jon & Kate Gosselin. It's all because lil' baby sis Jodi (aka., Saint Aunt Jodi) done got herself booted off the show for wanting more money. Actually, Herr Aunt Julie's hatred for Kate dates all the way back to well before the twins. If we are to believe the folks who fill my email inbox, Herr Aunt Julie and Saint Aunt Jodi have been stewing in a pot of contempt for Jon & Kate since the absolute very beginning.
A little weird.
To put this all in perspective. Let's say my name is Kate and that I have a brother named Kevin , who is married to someone named Jodi . We all live in the same neighborhood.
Given this hypothetical, how often do you suppose that I see Kevin and/or Jodi?
Major holidays for sure , but let's say it's at least once a week. Okay, let's say even three times a week. Everyday would be more than a little weird to me personally but whatever, let's say I am "lucky" enough to see Jodi every day of the week.
Adding to the hypothetical. Let's say my brother's wife has siblings. Let's say one of my brother's wife's siblings is named Julie. Julie lives 200 miles away.
Sure , I've probably met all of brother's wife's siblings at least once. Maybe I see some of my brother's wife's siblings when it's my brother and his wife 's turn to host a major holiday like Christmas. But sometimes, my brother's wife's siblings have to spend holidays with their own in-laws and\or I have to spend Christmas with my husband's family. As we all know, once you or siblings start getting married, holidays like Christmas are never quite the same. Some one is always missing at the table.
I probably know the first names of my brother's wife's siblings. I probably do NOT know stuff like their birthdays, decorating tastes, favorite foods, what car they drive, what they do for a living, etc., etc. In some cases, I might not even know the surnames of my brother's wife's sisters who are married. Any conversations I've ever with my brother's wife's siblings most likely amount to nothing more than the exchange of small pleasantries (aka., chit chat) regarding recently seen movies, football or major new events.
So, how often do you I suppose that I see my brother's wife's siblings? Especially the ones who have their own families and are living over 200 miles away? It can't be that often. In my real world, it's once every other year, if that.
So my point is. How does Herr Aunt Julie living over 200 miles away come to have all this deep-seated hatred and jealousy for Jon & Kate? Who is feeding Julie all these awful truths that breed such hatred. Oh sure, part of the problem is Herr Aunt Julie's own insecurities, but *WHO* is pouring gas on the fire?
I'll give your three guesses and it rhymes with Paint Lodi.
Destroying the Gosselin family has proven to be a lucrative exercise for Paint Lodi and Luncle Bevin. We have evidence of giant lump-sum mortgage payments to prove it. For Julie, however, not so much and so the meddling continues.
Will someone please pay Julie for an interview so we can all move on with our lives?
Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #9, 10 & 11
Hope you won't mind if I consolidate all the hard-hitting questions regarding Jon's holiday plans, or pathetic lack thereof. I was anxious to get to Jon's thoughtful revelations regarding Jewish people, which of course is the best part of this whole interview fiasco.
Question 9, 10 and 11 delivers the news that a) Kate's lawyers have pretty much screwed Jon out of all major holidays, b) Jon's is as lazy as he ever was and well on his way to now leaving everything for Hailey to do, and c) Jon will require some serious trial prep since he simply is incapable of limiting his answer to the question asked.
Whoops! How could I forget. Jon is now half Jewish and half Korean. Yuk, yuk, yuk.
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PD: Let's try a happy topic. What are your plans for Halloween and Thanksgiving with the kids?
JG: Thanksgiving is tough. Kate has custody on Thanksgiving, but I will stop by to see my kids.
halloween I don't have custody. Hailey handles my schedule. It's kinda weird, but I can confide in her. She's my best friend. I lost a lot of friends; people burned me left and right.
PD: And Christmas?
JG: Christmas, yeah. This is the first year I will celebrate Chanukah. Hailey is Jewish. Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I'm now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great. On Christmas, I'll see my kids during the day for a couple of hours.
PD: Then what?
JG: Hailey is so excited because we're going to go ornament shopping and I'll buy her a stocking. News Year's Eve I'll be in Vegas hosting Las Vegas Live with Eva Longoria.
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Oh man, I feel like I have mountains to say on this one. Damn my job!
Question 9, 10 and 11 delivers the news that a) Kate's lawyers have pretty much screwed Jon out of all major holidays, b) Jon's is as lazy as he ever was and well on his way to now leaving everything for Hailey to do, and c) Jon will require some serious trial prep since he simply is incapable of limiting his answer to the question asked.
Whoops! How could I forget. Jon is now half Jewish and half Korean. Yuk, yuk, yuk.
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PD: Let's try a happy topic. What are your plans for Halloween and Thanksgiving with the kids?
JG: Thanksgiving is tough. Kate has custody on Thanksgiving, but I will stop by to see my kids.
halloween I don't have custody. Hailey handles my schedule. It's kinda weird, but I can confide in her. She's my best friend. I lost a lot of friends; people burned me left and right.
PD: And Christmas?
JG: Christmas, yeah. This is the first year I will celebrate Chanukah. Hailey is Jewish. Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I'm now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great. On Christmas, I'll see my kids during the day for a couple of hours.
PD: Then what?
JG: Hailey is so excited because we're going to go ornament shopping and I'll buy her a stocking. News Year's Eve I'll be in Vegas hosting Las Vegas Live with Eva Longoria.
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Oh man, I feel like I have mountains to say on this one. Damn my job!
Deep Analysis of Jon Gosselin's ParentDish Manifesto: Question #8
Question 8 fundamentally reveals the reason why I think Jon should be shot and it has nothing to do with his other well-known douche-baggery: talking on a cell phone in a restaurant.
- Rude to other restaurant patrons.
- Rude to the person you're talking to.
- Just plain unnecessary.
If the One Bullet Theory is ever put into play, I'm pretty certain I will immediately use my bullet on someone who is yapping into their cell phone (in a restaurant, on the train\plane, while driving, while crossing the street, in the cashier line at the grocery store, etc.)
People: The use of cells phones in public areas is meant for emergencies only. If I'm not hearing words like "cardiac arrest" during your conversation, I don't need to (or want to) hear your f-ng telephone conversation.
GWOPWOP PROCLAMATION #2: ONLY TRAILER TRASH YAPS ON THEIR CELL PHONE WHILE IN PUBLIC PLACES!
But I digress. Here's Jon's bizarro answer to Question #8, proving that he can turn any question into a discussion of his greatness. BTW, the population of Pennsylvania is 12.48 million as of the last census.
Question 8:
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PD: Where are you right now? I hear loud music in the background.
JG: In Philadelphia in a restaurant. There are 65 paparazzi following me in Reading so I don't stay there. Our Nielsons [ratings] are 11 million. That's like the population of Pennsylvania.
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