Earn Big $$$
I'm a tad disappointed that no GWoPpers including Jodi and Julie have stepped forward so that I can sit in judgment of their parenting, marriage, hair, shoes, recent lump-sum mortgage payments, etc., etc.
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Perhaps it's my recruiting process that requires better definition so I created this Parenting Study application (see below). You GWoPpers need only fill it out and e-mail it to me and I'll post it here for our review.
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If I choose your application, I'll pay off the remainder of your mortgage just like radaronline did for Aunt Jodi. Click here for details.
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If I select Jodi or Julie, I'll pay for the cosmetic surgery that prevents people from harassing them anymore for what they did to those darling, cutey-patootey Gosselin kids. I'll even agree to use Linda Tripp's surgeon. He did a good job I thought.
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Send your completed applications to iwhyawli@gmail.com.
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GWoPwop
Parenting Study
Parenting Study
$$$ Official Application $$$
General Information
- First Name [ ] Last Name [ ]
- Location [ ]
- Marital Status [ ]
- Sex [ ]
- Total Children in Household: [ ] Boys [ ] Girls
- Any multiples? [ ]
- How many of the above children live with you because you launched a successful campaign to have them taken away from their biological parents?
[ ] Boys [ ] Girls
Blogging Information
- What is the URL to your primary blog [ ]
- How many other blogs do you have? [ ]
- What is your most often used blogging ID [ ]
- How many other bloggings ID do you have?
[ ] 0 [ ] Less than 50 [ ] More than 200
Employment Information
- Length of Current Unemployment [ ]
Parenting Information
(Include pictures, if possible)
- What is the color of your cell phone?
- What color and type of unna-wears do you wear?
- What type of shoes do you wear while pumping gas?
- What is your favorite kitchen utensil to use as a sex toy?
- What is your general philosophy on giving water to people who are thirsty?
- Who is El Salvador?
- If your hair was a tree, what type of tree would it be?
Writing Sample
Describe the shittiest thing you ever did to one of your siblings.
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Good Luck!
13 comments:
Freakin' hilarious Iwhyawli!!
The Pigs are up in arms about your blog. Aww, too bad piggies. Talk about group think. They're one of the biggest and they have to dance around stupid Peri's nerves. Or, else, she won't post your thoughts. Just like a gwopper. Stupid pigs.
Iwhy, I think your blog is the best around. Can't wait for the real> truth. hee hee
*LMBO*!!!!!!! I am cracking up here! iwhy, that is cute cute cute! I loved the parenting info, "what color are your unna-wears"! Your mind makes my morning!
I love the light humor here and it keeps me coming back every day to see what you have next.
Anonymous, they hate it because it makes them think and realize their own stupidity they've been lost in and how much of their lives has been robbed to following ridiculous gossip and stories they never get the real truth or story to.
iwhy, that one takes the cake!
you forgot to ask them which gossip magazines give them the most dirt and source material to chew and the amount of money spent on said source material in their homes individually, AND to list the number of hours they spend chewing on the fat at GWOP.
they should have to list how much Ben and Jerry's, twinkies, and ding dongs they consume weekly to cope with their frustration that their keystrokes, nasty emails don't matter now nor will they ever! I love how it increases ratings, sales, and keeps promoting the show onward and upward as their little world spins out of control from the frustration they cannot CONTROL the success of the Gosselin family!
I like the slinky one best!
A STOOPID GWOPper aka Gal With OUT PURPOSE is....
* A few clowns short of a circus...
* A few fries short of a Happy Meal...
* An experiment in artificial stupidity...
* A few beers short of a six pack...
* Dumber than a box of hair...
* A few peas short of a casserole....
* Doesn't have all her Cornflakes in one box...
* The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead...
* One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl...
* One taco short of a combo plate...
* A few feathers short of a whole duck...(oops, a GOSSELINg)
* All foam, no beer...(haha, Serena did have a beer post we posted and shared on here!)
* The cheese slid off his cracker... (their government cheese rations beings non of them appear to have a job, and we're not talking the cottage cheese kind building on the thighs at their comps either!)
* Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel...(haha, and they are jealous the Gosselins help promote Crooked Houses, will you GWOPpers stop helping sell kids toys too!)
* Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt...(and we KNOW they can GRUNT!)
* Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear...
* Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel...(much less heat up boiling water for some MacNCheese for family night without some GWOP bloggin)
* She fell out of the Stupid Tree and hit every branch on the way down...
* An intellect rivaled only by garden tools...(haha, many have not even seen their gardens, much less can bend over to care for one)
* As smart as bait...(hehehe) (like how the gossip mags use GWOPpers as bait to make money off of! Oops, I smell exploitation of the GWOP community's mentality!)
* Chimney's clogged...
* Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash...
* Doesn't know much but, leads the league in nostril hair...(come on GWOPpers, gotta keep that manscaped, it makes breathing hard on those days your nostrils are a flaring mad at the latest Gosselin Gossip and do so before August, when they announce the show is BACCCKKK!) (make sure your valium drips are ready that day too!)
* Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor...(plus they have weight limits!)
* Forgot to pay her brain bill...
* Her sewing machine's out of thread...(why they are jealous of Kate's Ann Taylor)
* Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels...(EXCEPT TLC!)
* Her belt doesn't go through all the loops... (because of the BEN and JERRY'S and DING DONGS consumed at their keyboards, the keystroking just doesn't burn up those horrendous loads of calories consumed)
* If he had another brain, it would be lonely...(too late, they are lonely and is why they belong to their cult community, for a sense of feeling they BELONG to some thing special (NOTE, use the term SPECIAL, loosely!)
* Missing a few buttons on his remote control...(still have not figured out it needs batteries)
* No grain in the silo...(because the piggies ate it all!)
* Proof that evolution can go in reverse...
* Receiver is off the hook...(TOOOOOO TRUE!!!) Hello...hello, anyone home?
* Several nuts short of a full pouch...(we know they have pouches, carry on baggage of their own!)
* Sky light leaks a little...(err A LOT)
* Slinky's kinked... (MY FAV! Classic!)
* Too much yardage between the goal posts...
* Not the sharpest knife in the drawer...
* Half a bubble off plumb...
* A few sandwiches short of a picnic ...(aww aren't the Gosselin yard picnics so much cuter then a GWOP picnic!)
Anonymous, they hate it because it makes them think and realize their own stupidity they've been lost in and how much of their lives has been robbed to following ridiculous gossip and stories they never get the real truth or story to.
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Exactly!
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* A few sandwiches short of a picnic ...(aww aren't the Gosselin yard picnics so much cuter then a GWOP picnic!)
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The Gosselin picnics are much cuter and much less food is consumed than at a GWOP picnic! :)
I hope an "aldergator" eats them.
At what age could your childen id corn and pasta?
hehe, an aldergater! TOO cute! Id corn and pasta? I don't have any kids, wish I could have. I don't know what age kids can identify certain foods at. I'm sure the GWOPper kids can already ID foods such as pot tarts, corn dogs, microwave mac n cheese and spam. They have to be pretty self sufficient children while their mommies are online all day, every day obsessing over the Gosselins. One day they will turn around and see their own child is graduating high school and they missed out on their own child's childhood. For some anyways, unless child protective services has already removed them from their custody.
I am BUMMED you guys, not one GWOPper has submitted an application to be reviewed!!!
Obsessed much?
Here's a question for your survey...
How much time do you spend blogging about reading GWoP?
If it's more than 1 minute, you are a loser.
yeah about 1 minute is enough really! All the posts are basically the same. I've never seen people be able to say the same thing in so many ways yet say nothing at all. (smiles)
Anon @ 7:19 p.m.
I don't read GWoP. I read the Princess boards, a couple of other sane boards and now this one.
What you fail to understand is spending 10-15 minutes a day laughing at the nutty, bizarre and pathetic souls that frequent GWoP is actually a great stress relief. It's also (in a very small way) standing up for SANITY.
LOL, Linda Tripps surgeon!
Ms. Grapefruit, too true! Watching one's insanity, is a dose of some comic relief!
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