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Click here for iwhyawli's tongue-in-check version of GWOP's 954,012 posting rules. If you're wondering why GWOP has so many posting rules, you're not alone.

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Tell me that 'lindahoyt is a troll, right?

Here's another one of those absolutely INSANE GWoPper comments that can be re-posted without need for further commentary.

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lindahoyt said...
I think the best we can hope for, like I said previously, is that the Dept. of Labor seizes all the unused video, in an attempt to see how long the family is taped, and to see if any child pornography laws have been broken. That video would then have to be turned over to the Child Protective Services if there were any hint of any kind of child abuse. I would think all of the naked video, by people who are NOT family members would be questionable.
5/29/2009 1:35 PM
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Sharla's Re-Crap.

Can someone puh-lease explain to Sharla what a "re-cap" is?

For the GWoPpers who didn't accidentally (snicker) watch TLC's Season Premiere of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" or click any of the media excerpts of the show (accidentally, of course), one of the GWoP moderators is always kind enough to post a recap of the show.

Sharla posted the Season Premiere "recap" if you can call it that.

A total "re-crap" is more like it.

The thing is 5 pages long and leaves no single detail out.

You won't want to miss Sharla's hi-larious and snarly recap comments either.... the very type of hateful comments that will most likely cause the kids to question their childhoods, their parents.... to feel embarrassment, to resent the show, to hate their parents and society... which oddly enough is the very reason why GWoPpers protest the show.

An intelligent mind would recognize GWoP attacks on Jon & Kate as
a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Unfortunately, the average GWoPper IQ is about 12.

The GWoP Canonization of Aunt Jodi

Well Aunt Jodi certainly went and got herself all gussied up for her big TV interview, didn't she? I accidentally (snicker) clicked a link to an excerpt of today's interview at CNN.

Kevin did most of the talking with Aunt Jodi sitting practically on his lap... ... hand resting on his upper inner thigh... nodding and ocassionally parroting a single key word .... as most Stepford wives do.

Riveting.

But nice try tho', Jodester. Years from now the Gosselin kids will stumble across a tape of your Early Show Interview on YouTube and while they mostly likely won't even remember who you are\were, they'll at least think you looked nice as you told America that their parents were exploiting them.

It's the strangest coincidence that Aunt Jodi's "concerns" come at the same time when Kate reportedly ix-nayed the idea of adding her to TLC's payroll*. Clearly, Aunt Jodi had zero issues with the show when she was featured on it every week. Of all the bad luck to have your very important cause shrouded in such obvious vindictiveness.

I've got news for you, Jodes. Filming a crying child in or out of his bedroom is either "right" or "wrong" --- so um, I'm not understanding your argument that filming all that for just 8 episodes per season instead of 40 makes it any less exploitative. If Jon & Kate are exploiting their kids, you too were a full and willing participant .... even to the point of exposing your own kids to their puking kids when they flew to LA for the hair transplant. Nice parenting decision, btw.

You also had zero problems with taking the kids to be on Oprah. Twice.

Heck, I bet Oprah could have given those kids away on her favorite things show and you wouldn't have cared less. It's Oprah for goodness sake! If Oprah had no problem putting those kids on display for America's largest daytime viewing audence, why should you? Oh I get it (sorta). It's only Kate, Jon & TLC who are exploiting the kids. Oprah's a saint and apparently so are you.

So sad, too bad. You're not believable. But until which time you win your own Reality TV Show about a middle-aged, blue collar mom with big hair, acrylic nails and four, non-descript kids living in suburban Philadelphia, you'll have to make do with the portrayal of yourself on the SNL satires that must surely be on the drawing board.

TTFN, iwhyawli



*a non-vindictive, business decision I would have made myself, if the rumour is even true. Perhaps I'll elaborate on this later in a future post. Stay tuned.

An Open Letter to Aunt Jodi's sister, Julie

Everyone in the Gosselin-blogosphere is writing an open letter these days so here's mine to Aunt Jodi's sister, Julie.
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Dear Julie:

Allow me to rebut your blog post (which I found courtesy of the always-helpful Serena Leigh Bell at GWOP).

You said:
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Kevin and Jodi will be giving a live interview tomorrow morning on The Early Show (CBS). The segment should be airing around 7:30am EST.
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Well I didn't have time to watch Obama's inaugural address but you can be sure I'll drop whatever I'm doing to watch this. Just in case, don't hold your breath.

Seriously, for someone who abhors the exploitation of these kids and all that the show is allegedly doing to destroy the Gosselin family, you sure seem determined to get your 15 minutes of fame too.

If the show goes off the air, are you (and your important blog) prepared to fade into obscurity? Yeah, I didn't think so. I'm certain we can all continue to depend on you and Serena to keep us all posted on Jon & Kate's every move.

And then you said:
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I also want to acknowledge all of the emails I am receiving. I can't respond to all of them, but I want everyone to know that I am reading them and sharing them with Jodi. I have received the most heartfelt stories and poems. I am truly touched that so many have taken the time to write, and I want you all to know that the support we are receiving is definitely a bright spot during this difficult time.
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That's a joke, right? Exactly what difficulty are you enduring during this difficult time ? You're the sister of the sister-in-law. A non-blood relation. My family is so close that we all live on the same block and I'm not sure my brother-in-law's wife even has any sisters. No one did anything to you. No one owes you anything. Buck up, drama queen. I'm quite sure your world will continue spinning no matter what happens to Jon & Kate.

And then you said:
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Many people have asked what they can do. My best advice right now is to stop watching! I posted this on another blog over the weekend, but I think it is worth repeating.
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Or, here's another idea. Ask everyone to send a cheery note or flowers to Kevin and Jodi because no matter what happens now, the chances that they'll ever see those Gosselins kids again are understandably slim to none. This is typically what happens after someone decides to inform America that a mom of 8 young kids is sleeping around.

And then you said:
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I made a personal decision long ago to do what I can to give those children the privacy and respect that they deserve. I refuse to watch and participate in something that I feel so strongly against.
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You may as well watch. I'm no Einstein but something tells me you too will be allowed to give those kids all the privacy they need, as in never again being allowed to come within 500 yards of them. I feel like I'm repeating myself on this point. Sorry.

And then you said:
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We should not be able to watch the destruction of a real family. It is a little disturbing to me that so many people see this as entertainment. These are real children, not characters on a show. I didn't watch last night, but I did see a brief clip on one the news programs this morning. I am disgusted that they would show such a tender moment between Jon and his daughter just to pull at the viewer's heartstrings. That conversation should have been a private moment between a father and daughter. Each person who watched last night stole something from the children that they'll never get back. They deserve respect, privacy and security. Their own parents have taken that away from them, but we can give it back by letting TLC know that we won't watch it any longer. If Jon and Kate care so little for their family that they refuse to end the show, the viewers can end it for them. If you want to help the children, then stop watching!
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Um, could you be a little more specific? What exactly did I steal from the children that they'll never get back? Or even, what did I steal that you didn't steal when you accidentally (snicker) watched the clip. Your rhetoric is so completely painful, I sorta hope you're the one who gets to torture Osama bin Ladin when we finally find him. You could also try pressing the [Enter] key once and a while.

And why so pessimistic? A myriad of happy choices and fruitful outcomes lay ahead for the Gosselin family. I'm confident they'll find the right solution.

If Jon & Kate elect to triumph over adversity in private or in public, that's their decision, not ours. Respect it.

And while I don't really care to see two persons that I've grown to admire seem so unhappy, I definitely don't feel I'd be watching the destruction of a family. I'll be watching two people figure out what makes them happiest. You're just pissed because they don't seem to be choosing your definition of happily ever after, and\or including you in it. In your search for truth, you can at least be honest with us about that.

And then you said:
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Posted by The Truth Will Set You Free at 7:55 PM
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Yeah, I agree. So hurry up and free yourself so we can be BFF's. Until then, you're a dirty whore.

Write back soon,

iwhyawli
Senior Decent Human Being Coach
Center for Decent Human Beings
U.S.A.

Another Inane Analogy

My favorite GWoP comments are those that are so completely idiotic that I can simply re-post them here without need for further commentary.

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nanb said...
Mother of Two(couldn't afford more...) said...The Jon and Kate saga is becoming just like the Anna Nicole Smith story. TLC has blood on it's hands (figuratively speaking) for allowing this insanity to continue.


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I completely agree I remember ET had all their exclusives (paid Anna) and she was obviously doing more and more drugs till it killed her. This time it's TLC and they are paying the Gosselins to destroy their family in front of the cameras for the world to watch!
5/24/2009 4:56 PM
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I'm on Candid Camera, aren't I?

You just can't put one past the Her Royal GWoPpness Serena. If someone is talking smack about Kate on the Internet, Serena will find it.

Serena just posted this link --
http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/entertainment/On_Jon_and_Kate___I_Hope_They_Get_a_Divorce__Philadelphia.html
-- featuring a video of some woman who says this:
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On Jon and Kate: "I Hope They Get a Divorce"
WCAU / NBC Philadelphia - Stacey Weaver & Phil Houser
A former patient of Kate's paints a harsh picture of the mother of eight. The woman and former co-workers speak out now that the new season has premiered.

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Seriously who wishes divorce on anyone ? A mental patient, that's who.

I really wish I could have posted the woman's picture here. Here's hoping she loses that extra 80 pounds someday and manages to find a comb.

GWoP Hypocrisy

There is not a font large enough for the 'LOL' that I would like type right now. And after today's post, I fully expect death threats from the GWoPpers.

I am going to use the dreaded "H" word.

That's right. The "H" word. The worst word that you can possibly call an ignoramus (according to the igonoramus, that is).

The GWoPpers are not only ugly and fat ---they're hypocrites!

You see, not having watched yesterday's season premiere of "Jon & Kate plus 8" (snicker ), they've discovered that they've nothing much to talk about anymore.

Worse, they've nothing to do with themselves.

Had they asked me for ideas to break the monotony, I might have suggested some badly needed personal hygiene, but they've instead elected to post snarky, mean comments on Kate's TLC blog, promptly returning to the mothership to complain that the TLC moderators have not been posting them.

...

...

...


LOL ! Ha! Ha ! LOL!

FUNNIEST THING EVER!!

...

There is no longer any question in my mind that these GWoP women are not mentally retarded. (NTTAWWT). Thanks for the hearty chuckle, ladies.



My Review of the Jon & Kate Season Premiere

I wanted to very quickly blog my review of the Jon & Kate Season Premiere, primarily so that the GWoPpers can see how it's done without passing judgment.

In bullet points:
  • Kids (all 8) are still darn cute and behaving cutely.
    All look happy, healthy. I did not feel any need to contact DCFS , testify in front of Congress, etc.
  • The new house looks gorgeous (my first time seeing it).
  • I would have liked to see more of the new dogs
    (my first time seeing them too) and the kids with the dogs.
  • Birthday Party was lush but not my cup of tea. Too extravagant. I was glad my kids weren't invited and that I didn't have to buy 6 birthday gifts. Lots of families in my area also overboard too and for only one kid. It's become a parental competition. We just do the old-fashioned backyard or basement parties.
  • I hope the papparazi all get cancer and then perhaps we could have a Reality TV show that allows us to watch one of them die a painful death.
  • Watching the Jon & Kate angst was not interesting TV. I found that I didn't care about their problems, whatever they are. I prefer a more upbeat show.
  • I don't see a Kate holding her own as a Talk Show host or whatever her alleged professional aspirations are. This became especially apparent when solo-Kate was explaining the "irony of pinatas" to us.
    Yeah whatever. Then again, I don't understand the phenonemon that is Oprah (or most other celebrities).
  • This episode needed more kids and less parents talking about themselves. The "Hawaii Marriage Vow Renewal Show" bored me too.

Scary Scary Stuff

It's hard to believe anyone like 'Avary' exists.

It's harder to believe a GWoP moderator read Avary's post and then elected to publish it.

And then incredibly, some other GWoPper later replied to Avary, but only to clarify something about Clomid and without flaming the ever-living shit out of him.

My GWoPwop friends, this GWoP post is scary stuff:

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Avary said:

I wonder if any of the media will pick up on the questionable use of fertility drugs. First, just being married a couple months, in her 20's, and was put on clomid even though most people would not be put on the drug that young or without trying longer. Bang - she's pregnant with the twins. And second, when she got pregnant with the tups, she switched doctors (why?), started on clomid again, was hospitalized with over-stimulated ovaries, the doctors wouldn't inseminate, and then she turned up pregant with seven babies. She and Jon had to have sex purposely against medical advice for that to have happened.
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I'm going to safely conclude that Avary is some sort of modern day Nazi scientist or serial killer. She/he's just a little too interested in the events surrounding Kate's pregnancies.

Why, Kate? Why?! You and Jon were only in your 20's for godsakes. Avary doesn't like that. Avary thinks you didn't try long enough.

Avary wants to know why you switched doctors, Kate? Avary doesn't like that either.

And then, WTF! YOU AND JON WERE HAVING SEX PURPOSELY?????

This also upsets Avary because you see, Avary has never had sex purposely. Avary only has sex accidentally.

[Hannibal Lecter]On purpose sex makes Avary mad, Felice. Very mad.[Hannibal Lecter].

The GWoP moderators should have reported Avary's post to the FBI but instead they approve it and publish if as something which supports their "beliefs".

To all the GWoP moms who are struggling to conceive, I hope Avary's post is making you feel nice and judged right now. If I were you, I wouldn't respond to any inquiries from the media.

Ay yi yi.