I didn't think Mark Heller (or, for that matter, Jon Gosselin) could possibly portray himself to be more neanderthal than what we've already seen and heard, but I was wrong.
If I may quote Mark Heller in reference to this past weekend's alleged burglary: "Jon feels like he was raped."
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Jon, allow me to offer you some comfort and key reasons as to why you shouldn't feel "raped":
1. You were not sexually assaulted.
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You'll most likely find yourself in prison some day (soon, hopefully).
Be careful what you wish for, sweetie.
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