PROPS!

Kate, before I comment on your Dancing with the Stars debut, I've gotta ask---what the hell is living in Pamela Anderson's hair? Holy crap ... what a frigging rat's nest. I also think she was high on something, but perhaps her perpetual blonde bimbo/middle-aged porn chick schtick just makes it seem that way. And the thorn tattoo armband thing? Just charming.

Okay, back to you.

Kate, chin up, YOU DID JUST FINE!

What I like best about this show -- what I think everyone likes most about this show ---- is watching folks from all different walks of life claw their way out of their discomfort zone. I've been watching for 10 seasons now and I still don't know what a "fleckle" is and it's become very clear that no one ever plans to demonstrate one. I actually don't know why the judge's even bother to comment on any particular moves or technique. I figure those comments are meant for all the other ballroom judges who watch the show. All 4 of them.

The judges need to lighten up, especially Bruno. Yeesh.

Chelsea-the-dancer said the show is about improvement. I disagree. I think the show is about hard work, bravery, humility, perserverance and personal triumph. Who really cares if any of those stars improve? It's not like they fancy themselves in new careers as professional dancers.

Truth be told, I went and put a load of laundry in during the pussy cat doll person's dance. If I wanted to watch the pussy cat doll dance, I would buy tickets to their professionally choreographed shows in Las Vegas. Which I've never done, btw, despite the fact that I'm in Las Vegas at least 5 times every year. I don't buy for a second that ballroom dancing is a stretch for her, whatever her name is.

I missed the first half hour, but I enjoyed watching. I enjoyed watching you, Kate. I enjoyed Niecey. I enjoyed Evan. Enjoyed Buzz. And while I was all prepared to loathe The Bachelor guy, I found that I enjoyed him too. Hope I didn't leave anyone out.. You're all very good sports. Thanks for sharing your vunerabilities.

Good Luck Tomorrow, Kate!

Good Luck tomorrow, Kate! Hope you really enjoy yourself and have tons and tons of fun. No pressure but should you happen to dance great tommorrow, it will mean that we gwopwoppers get to watch the GWOPPERS spontaneously self-combust (again). Then again, if you dance awful, the GWOPPERS will still self-combust so heck, we gwopwoppers really can't lose on this deal no matter what. All you got to do, Kate, is show up. Or, hmm, come to think about it, you probably don't even have to show up. It's not like they'll be watching (cough). See Kate, we gwopwoppers are well aware that you could discover the cure for cancer, end world hunger and find Osama bin Ladin for us but you'll always be a dirty whore over there at GWOP.

I hope you'll be able to take your boys (ok, sure, the girls too) to meet Buzz Aldrin. What a totally fantastic opportunity that would be. The second guy to walk on the moon! Holy mackeral! Okay yeah, lots of peeps have since walked on the moon and it's always gonna be cool to meet any astronaut but to meet one of those Apollo 11 guys ? Awesome. Too bad Aunt Jodie had to whisper to the world that you're [whisper]a cheater[whisper] cause otherwise I bet you'd probably try to get her kids in to meet Buzz Aldrin too.

So sad, too bad for Aunt Jodie. I weep for her.