Jon at Parentdish

This interview with Jon Gosselin at parentdish.com is so stunning in its ....... [fill in word ].... that I had to re-post it on the main page. The right words escape me.... heck, there may not be any single wordto accurately describes all that's going on in this chat. Kate may have married a real-deal moron. Previously, I was willing to give Jon the benefit of the doubt that he was just greedy, had a drug problem or something..... but now I suspect he truly is slow (low IQ ).

Anyhoo, I feel like I'll be able to comment on this interview for ages, which I will, natch. If only blogger had a line numbering feature like you see in legal documents. Being able to refer to line numbers sure should would make it easier for me to pick this pyschodribble apart.

Here's the interview:

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Jon Gosselin has a lot to say. After ten years of marriage and five seasons laying his family's life out for public view on TLC's Jon & Kate Plus 8, he's feeling, and acting, like man who's suddenly gotten a get-out-of-jail card. Problem is, it's costing him. His legal battle with his ex seems to grow exponentially every day, which, of course, sends the media frenzy on Jon-dom into the stratosphere. We called Jon for a quick chat to catch up on how this is impacting his parenting and ended up talking about everything else.

ParentDish: So, what's going on?

Jon Gosselin: I'm just trying to be as cordial as possible. I messed up at the beginning and now I want to be a nice guy, make better decisions and do the right thing.

PD: Why? What did you do that you consider bad moves.

JG: Meeting Kate Major [former reporter for Star magazine] and Stephanie [Santoro], the nanny. Those were two things.

PD: What's with you and family friend Hailey Glassman?

JG: Me and Hailey are still together. It was hard for her in the beginning. We are going to stay together. She talks to people. She's so friendly. She just goes up to people and says, 'I love your shoes.'

PD: Are you two going to get married?

JG: We don't talk about getting married. She's seen how messy my divorce has been and she says it makes her not want to get married. She laughs about it. It's so different than it was with Kate. It's so comfortable with Hailey and her family. They are so nice. They gave Kate a free tummy tuck, worth $20 grand. I mean, hello? It's free surgery.

PD: How is Hailey adjusting?

JG: I apologized to Hailey that I shouldn't have been hanging out with anyone else. I love her to death and she could've walked away.

PD: Where are you living these days?

JG: I feel like I'm nomadic. I'm in New York, Reading [Pennsylvania], L.A. I have an apartment in New York, on the West Side, that Hailey stays in. I could sleep in my apartment on my 8,000-square-foot property, but that would make Kate uncomfortable. I take the high road.

PD: That must be difficult after all the negative attention coming your way.

JG: I never said anything demeaning about Kate, just that once on Good Morning America about a month ago or so, I lose track of time. I said I despised her; maybe I despised the things she does. That was the first interview in 4 ½ years by myself.

PD: Where are you right now? I hear loud music in the background.

JG: In Philadelphia in a restaurant. There are 65 paparazzi following me in Reading so I don't stay there. Our Nielsons [ratings] are 11 million. That's like the population of Pennsylvania.

PD: Let's try a happy topic. What are your plans for Halloween and Thanksgiving with the kids?

JG: Thanksgiving is tough. Kate has custody on Thanksgiving, but I will stop by to see my kids. Halloween I don't have custody. Hailey handles my schedule. It's kinda weird, but I can confide in her. She's my best friend. I lost a lot of friends; people burned me left and right.

PD: And Christmas?

JG: Christmas, yeah. This is the first year I will celebrate Chanukah. Hailey is Jewish. Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I'm now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great. On Christmas, I'll see my kids during the day for a couple of hours.

PD: Then what?

JG: Hailey is so excited because we're going to go ornament shopping and I'll buy her a stocking. News Year's Eve I'll be in Vegas hosting Las Vegas Live with Eva Longoria.

PD: That sounds fun. Tell me more about your interest in Judaism.

JG: I just went through Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur and learned about the new year and every Friday is the Shabbat dinner. I love challah bread. I'm learning about Jewish food, going to Zabar's. I love that place. I'm learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg and cheese and make an ass of myself. Hailey makes fun of me. My mom came to the city on Yom Kippur and asked where all the traffic was. I got from the West Side to Midtown in five minutes. She wants to come to the city every year on Yom Kippur.

PD: Are we going to see you converting to Judaism?

JG: I talked to Rabbi Shmuley a couple of times. He has nine kids. I was really nervous dating a Jewish girl. She's like the best girl ever. All my friends are like 'I'm so jealous' and I'm like, 'Stay away, she's mine.' She's the rock of my life. She's been through hell in the tabloids. They made up lies that she's a lesbian and she's doing drugs. We've both been through all this turmoil. And we just keep on loving each other.

PD: That's so sweet.

JG: Yeah, I'm not used to that. It's totally different than it was with Kate.

PD: What do you mean?

JG: I look at Kate and say, 'What are you doing? Why are you airing our dirty laundry?

'PD: Why do you think she's talking publicly?

JG: She hired an attorney that says I stole $230,000 and it's so not true and I can prove it. Who is she proving this to? No one cares. You look like the biggest ass somehow. She's throwing me under the bus. Her and TLC. They don't like me because I want to pull my kids off TV. They made $186 million last quarter, $143 million of that from Jon & Kate Plus 8. [Editor's note: A TLC spokesperson declined to verify the numbers to ParentDish.]

PD: How much of that do you see?

JG: $25,000 per episode. It's awfully low. They locked in a contract and we're in the 50 percent tax bracket, so it's $12,500, so each of us gets $1,250 per episode. People think I make $75,000, $100,000 per episode. My kids sacrifice their privacy for this?

PD: Some people would say you should've thought of that a long time ago.

JG: I always wanted to take the kids off the air but we would've been breaching the contract. I couldn't say that on the air because we would've been sued. They tried to fire me before I fired them. I'm stepping up to the plate. Whatever they want to do to me. Sue me. Send me to jail. I'm taking my kids off the air. What judge will say, 'Okay, your kids must be on film'? I know how it works. I'm not afraid of TLC now. God is on my side. TLC would say, 'You can't say this,' and now I'm just unleashing it.

PD: How do the kids feel about it?

JG: The kids are unanimous. They don't want to film. We filmed 152 episodes. What more can you possibly still film? You want us to go to the moon? You want us to take the kids and go to Korea? Are you crazy? They don't want to be on a four-cylinder bus in Korea. They want to be home in the pool. [Editor's note: TLC says they taped a total of 112 episodes.]

PD: How are the paparazzi dealing with you these days?

JG: Hailey and I just hung out in her parents' house for awhile because of the paparazzi. But I know that if you didn't have paparazzi, there would be no magazines, no advertising, no marketing, no nothing. If you run away from them, you're totally toast. So let them take your picture and that's it. After they get the picture then they go away. We're just like, who cares, do what you gotta do and make money for your family. I know a lot of them. I know where their parents live.

PD: Smart move.

JG: Every talk show wants us. I am the most photographed person the planet. Kate is the fifth most popular person in the world this year, and I'm the second most popular. Michael Jackson is the first. I'm like, 'Wake up, Kate.'

PD: What do you mean?

JG: She goes on Regis and The View and has no idea of women's rights. She doesn't even vote, which is disgusting. How could she go on a talk show if she doesn't know what's going on in the world? She's fed lines from TLC. I'm not bashing her -- it's wake up and get on board, take this out of the court and let's settle it.

PD: What does she need to get on board with?

JG: She needs to get on board with her own life and get away from TLC and get out of Kate Gosselin world. She doesn't want to hear it because she's so brainwashed from TLC. She should be an independent contractor and instead she says, 'Yes, I'll listen to you.' For me, you cannot take away my freedom of speech.

PD: What are you doing with yourself these days for work?

JG: I'm still building websites. Hailey wants to start a clothing line.

PD: What happened with the Ed Hardy deal? Weren't you going to do a kids' clothing line?

JG: Ed Hardy totally used us. He got a million in ad sales. He says he never sent a proposal and that's not true. I have it. [Editor's note: The Ed Hardy company was contacted for verification, but did not respond by presstime.]

PD: That's icky. What else is going on?

JG: I started the Jon Gosselin Children's Foundation to help people pay for bills for sick kids. My dad would operate on handicapped children for free and my brother and I want to continue my father's legacy and my kids will see this. We're not taking a penny from it. PD: I heard that you may do another reality show, Divorced Dads Club with Michael Lohan, Lindsay's dad?

JG: Absolutely never. I will never do a reality show again. If I do, it's a documentary on reality TV. I thought DDC was a good idea, but then I feel I have better things to do with my time than to do another show. DDC would take time from my kids.

PD: And speaking of time with your kids, what happened at the twins' birthday party yesterday?

JG: It was the first time I saw Kate in four weeks. It was super uncomfortable because she stayed. There was that elephant in the room, you know. I was really cool. I went to a hotel last night because I know she didn't want me there. Here was a woman I was married to for 10 years and I can't be in the same room with her.

PD: That's so sad that it had to come to this.

JG: Why would she bash me? She's always quick to blame and never takes any blame. She has a media mogul behind her, TLC, a law team. I'm like, I'm gonna do what's right, whether or not it costs me my career.

PD: With all this turmoil, where do you turn for parenting advice?

JG: I have a therapist. But hanging around Jewish people you don't need to talk to anyone else. My parents and grandparents are divorced and I want to break the pattern. I have Hailey and Mark Heller, my attorney, my therapist. They're all Jewish. I watch them and I confide in them, especially Hailey. She is my best friend. She'll tell me if I do something wrong. God has put these people in my life for a reason. My inner circle is Jewish. I only care what they think. I never talked about anything until therapy. Kate never wanted to go to marriage counseling. The thing in therapy is about teaching me how to talk to my kids.

PD: So you're getting everything out in the open now.

JG: I started writing a book. My book says it all. It will teach fathers a lesson.

PD: What do you hope for the future?

JG: Kate and I were a great mom and dad. We were called America's best family. We can still be that and do the best we can as parents. There are tons of divorced people going through this.

PD: How do you handle all the nasty comments about you?

JG: Like the Italians say, 'Keep your head up and nothing will hurt you.' People who write things on blogs are just couch potatoes who have nothing else to do. They put people down because of their psychosis. I told Mady and Cara that the things in the magazines are not true. You want the truth you ask Mommy and Daddy.

PD: Would you have more children?

JG: No. But if Hailey and I got married and she wanted to, then obviously I would. But let me get through this first.