GWOP Theatre: Act III
Lame Fish
by iwhyawli
by iwhyawli
I couldn't WAIT to say this!
And we couldn't WAIT to hear it!Whassup Jon?
"I love Kate as the mother of my
kids, but I despise her as a person."
Yeah, um, 'splain dat for us.And go slow.
Pretend we're dumb.
[eyeroll]This Mercedes ain't gonna
pay for itself, Serena
And we're always happyto get the extra blog hits.
By the time my kidsgoogle this, I'll have shot myself.
Good plan.
So yeah, it's not like they'll feel caughtin the middle or anything.
Your shrink tell you that?
Your mother?
NO!
Any chance your gettinglife advice from a never-employed,
over indulged
22 year-old pothead
whose last sexual encounter
included a 5' potted plant?
Does this mean I'm still not
America's favorite Dad ?
Jon Gosselin: I despise Kate
Jon must think we're all as dumb as he is. He despises Kate, he says.
No shit. Really? We couldn't tell.
Here's a newsflash, Jon. You also despise yourself.
I must say your 22K therapist has done a bang up job.
P.S. iwhyawli's bullshit detecter went berzerko when you were telling the wedding ring story. Your mom probably never told you this (or anything) but a person generally isn't believable when they're acting out in anger and spite.
No shit. Really? We couldn't tell.
Here's a newsflash, Jon. You also despise yourself.
I must say your 22K therapist has done a bang up job.
P.S. iwhyawli's bullshit detecter went berzerko when you were telling the wedding ring story. Your mom probably never told you this (or anything) but a person generally isn't believable when they're acting out in anger and spite.
Rock Bottom
There's always bright side to everything and the upside to hitting rock bottom is that things can't possibly get worse. Except in Jon's case, the upside to hitting rock bottom would be that he hasn't hit it yet.
When I saw Jon leering down the blouse of a drag queen, I thought to myself "iwhyawli, this is it. Jon's hit rock bottom. He'll wallow and flail down there for a bit but then we'll evenutally see the slow climb back into adulthood. The worst of it is finally over."
But I was wrong.
Yes, everyone, Jon managed to find another new low this weekend. He's telling the media that Kate refused to go to marriage counselling. Nice. A page ripped straight out the Aunt Jodi playbook. Page 1 from the chapter titled "How to give the children a little something to chew on when they finally start googling everything". It shouldn't be too much longer before Jon tells us whether or not Kate's a screamer.
I am stunned. All I can figure is that Jon must have some big bills to pay. Hopefully it's to the mafia or perhaps a Columbian drug cartel. Because no one would fuck with their kids like that just for media attention, right ? Aunt Jodi being the exception of course.
Kate, I beg you. Don't reply to that shit. Stay the course.
There's no need to contradict him or explain yourself, especially when most of us are now wondering how you managed to put up with his shit for 10 years.
When I saw Jon leering down the blouse of a drag queen, I thought to myself "iwhyawli, this is it. Jon's hit rock bottom. He'll wallow and flail down there for a bit but then we'll evenutally see the slow climb back into adulthood. The worst of it is finally over."
But I was wrong.
Yes, everyone, Jon managed to find another new low this weekend. He's telling the media that Kate refused to go to marriage counselling. Nice. A page ripped straight out the Aunt Jodi playbook. Page 1 from the chapter titled "How to give the children a little something to chew on when they finally start googling everything". It shouldn't be too much longer before Jon tells us whether or not Kate's a screamer.
I am stunned. All I can figure is that Jon must have some big bills to pay. Hopefully it's to the mafia or perhaps a Columbian drug cartel. Because no one would fuck with their kids like that just for media attention, right ? Aunt Jodi being the exception of course.
Kate, I beg you. Don't reply to that shit. Stay the course.
There's no need to contradict him or explain yourself, especially when most of us are now wondering how you managed to put up with his shit for 10 years.
Seriously, Enough Rules
----------------------------------
21. Please limit information about the children's school. Do not post links to the site, the name, location, or specifics about school events.
----------------------------------
I don't mean to keep harping on GWOP's rules, but seriously, this is getting ridiculous. There's yet another new rule. We're now up to 21 rules. If I wind up having to make another tutorial, y'all, I am NOT going to be happy.
Rule 21 is also one of those rules about behavior that's so obviously wrong that it shouldn't have to be a stated or written rule. It's similar to rules like "Don't kill people","Don't bite the hand that feeds you", "Flush the Toilet", "Re-Fill the Paper in the Printer", and "Just Wait for the Next Elevator Instead of Shoving your Briefcase Between the Doors and Making The Rest of Us Wait Even Longer, you self-absorbed jackass. We were running late too."
And finally, I feel compelled to ask --- isn't GWOP a moderated forum? Sharla, just don't publish the crap from idiots that shouldn't be posted. Or, if you don't want stupid people reading and posting at your blog, why not re-state the rule more clearly. Here's a suggestion:
--------------------------------
21. If you're so stupid to type information about the children's school, links to the site, the name, location, or specifics about school events, please find some sort of long, sharp object and lunge it into your thick skull. There's something wrong with you. Don't visit this blog anymore. Quit reading here. Move along. Get professional help.
--------------------------------
21. Please limit information about the children's school. Do not post links to the site, the name, location, or specifics about school events.
----------------------------------
I don't mean to keep harping on GWOP's rules, but seriously, this is getting ridiculous. There's yet another new rule. We're now up to 21 rules. If I wind up having to make another tutorial, y'all, I am NOT going to be happy.
Rule 21 is also one of those rules about behavior that's so obviously wrong that it shouldn't have to be a stated or written rule. It's similar to rules like "Don't kill people","Don't bite the hand that feeds you", "Flush the Toilet", "Re-Fill the Paper in the Printer", and "Just Wait for the Next Elevator Instead of Shoving your Briefcase Between the Doors and Making The Rest of Us Wait Even Longer, you self-absorbed jackass. We were running late too."
And finally, I feel compelled to ask --- isn't GWOP a moderated forum? Sharla, just don't publish the crap from idiots that shouldn't be posted. Or, if you don't want stupid people reading and posting at your blog, why not re-state the rule more clearly. Here's a suggestion:
--------------------------------
21. If you're so stupid to type information about the children's school, links to the site, the name, location, or specifics about school events, please find some sort of long, sharp object and lunge it into your thick skull. There's something wrong with you. Don't visit this blog anymore. Quit reading here. Move along. Get professional help.
--------------------------------
Farewell: August GOTM
Where oh where did the summer go? It's September 1st and time to bid farewell to our August GWOPPER-of-the-month, Satan.
I never wish to forget your beauty. So here you'll now sit in the gwopwop archives for all to enjoy.
I never wish to forget your beauty. So here you'll now sit in the gwopwop archives for all to enjoy.
On Dudes
Well the Dude Ranch episode may have been my favorite yet. All of the family enjoying themselves is what iwhyawli likes to see. The Gosselin males, including Jon, stole the show I thought. Props to Jon. The dress-up session was completely amusing and your girls think you're the funniest guy on earth.
I've only one tiny word of caution to offer you. This gal here in the picture below? She's also a dude in a dress. Hope you didn't drink too much more, babe.
I've only one tiny word of caution to offer you. This gal here in the picture below? She's also a dude in a dress. Hope you didn't drink too much more, babe.
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