Oy vey! All these tangents about meddling and witchhunts and I've nearly forgotten about Jon's imminent conversion to Judaism. Switching over for challah bread is probably as good a reason as any other, what the heck. Wait till he tries a corned beef sandwhich or pickled herring. Yum!
I am not even going to try and understand why Jon would be nervous about dating a Jewish girl. Clearly Jon is guided by a giant set of stereotypes.
The rambling on and on about light traffic on Yom Kippur was far too humourous. Poor Jon just doesn't know when to shut up, does he? Invite Mom back for Christmas too, Jon. They'll all be in Miami.
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PD: That sounds fun. Tell me more about your interest in Judaism.
JG: I just went through Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur and learned about the new year and every Friday is the Shabbat dinner. I love challah bread. I'm learning about Jewish food, going to Zabar's. I love that place. I'm learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg and cheese and make an ass of myself. Hailey makes fun of me. My mom came to the city on Yom Kippur and asked where all the traffic was. I got from the West Side to Midtown in five minutes. She wants to come to the city every year on Yom Kippur.
PD: Are we going to see you converting to Judaism?
JG: I talked to Rabbi Shmuley a couple of times. He has nine kids. I was really nervous dating a Jewish girl. She's like the best girl ever. All my friends are like 'I'm so jealous' and I'm like, 'Stay away, she's mine.' She's the rock of my life. She's been through hell in the tabloids. They made up lies that she's a lesbian and she's doing drugs. We've both been through all this turmoil. And we just keep on loving each other.
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8 comments:
I'm learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg and cheese and make an ass of myself.
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Jon, NEVER order the bacon.
Keep the cheese away from the meat.
Keep working on not making an ass of yourself. You're not quite there yet.
All my friends are like 'I'm so jealous' and I'm like, 'Stay away, she's mine.'
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Jon, the paps are not "friends" and they are not interested in Hailey. If you can lift her, you can have her.
"You can only be Jewish if u r actually "One Of The Chosen People",Being Jewish isn't like pogs its not a fad its a religion,"Epiphany" haver"
Above was posted to hAiLeYgLaSsMaN1 Twitter account. It's her response to Q12 & Q13. For once, hAiLeY made some sense.
The biggest slap in the face to Jon's soon to be ex wife as well as his children, is the fact that he continues to defend his girlfriend to the tabloids.
Oh, and Jon? F to the yi, you are making an ass of yourself whether you order kosher or not. Idiot.
Can I be first in line to pop Jon's bubble?? I guess the judge gets that honor. Nobody wants your girlfriend, honey. She's all yours.
Jon:
I'm learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg and cheese and make an ass of myself.
Me:
After seeing your muffin top and sperm bank belly at ROL, my recommendation is to leave the bacon, eggs, cheese and Jewish bread alone and go for the Spinach Salad with vinaigrette dressing.
Now regarding making an ass of yourself? You do that daily, you just cannot help yourself, so, TOO LATE!
I love challah bread.
Stay away from the bread Jon. Carbs are not YOUR friend! Quite frankly, nobody is your friend, especially your new Jewish friends, Mr.Lohan, or anybody you've come in contact the past year.
I'm learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg and cheese and make an ass of myself.
Too late, you've already made an ass out of yourself.
Hailey makes fun of me.
Not only does Hailey make fun of you, but so does half the nation! Maybe, half of the world!
Well said Marissa! I'd say its more than half...LOL.
Jon made a name for himself, that's for sure. It's to the point where he can just be referred to as "The Douche" and everyone knows who it's referencing. Those kids must be so embarrassed to be stuck with Jon as a parent. He needs to just GO AWAY.
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