Proper Divorcing

The GWOPPERS were so delighted to hear the big divorce news and now they're bitching up a storm that Jon & Kate aren't divorcing properly. The nerve.

How dare Jon & Kate botch the divorce that the GWOPPERS and Julie so painstakingly crafted. Jon's certainly doing his part to add to the ridiculous-ness. Jon's no-class, know-nothing, skanky slam piece certainly feels entitled to talk smack. But things aren't nearly bitter enough on Kate's side, are they? Kate has been altogether silent on the whole matter. Why so classy, Kate? Why the heck aren't you imploding? C'mon! Set Jon's clothes on fire. Toss a glass of merlot in someone's face! Back the car over him! The GWOPPERS need you to get the mud-slinging going. The hiatus is almost over!

You wouldn't think that all those perfect GWOP parents with their perfect GWOP marriages would know so much about proper divorcing, but apparently there is nothing that this group doesn't know. There is even a resident expert on driving phobias amongst their ranks.

According to some clown from the Chicago Sun Times, an unnamed "insider" reported that the twins now receive counseling to help them understand that the divorce isn't their fault.

Girls, let iwhyawli help you too. You can trust iwhyawli. Your parents are divorcing because Serena (nhrn), Julie and Aunt Jodi took it upon themselves to unleash a tide of papparazi and a swarm of miserable, jealous haus frau on your family soley because your ex-Aunt Jodi has the self-confidence of a miniature gnat. No marriage can withstand that level of third-party pressure and interference. Trust is a very fragile thing, girls, and a marriage is nothing without trust. You just can't have third-parties constantly casting seeds of doubt upon your marriage. It will collapse. So blame Julie, girls, and not yourselves.

Jon & Kate can't even get their kids help without interference from the GWOPPERS. A "child advocate" with the highly-serious name of 'TV Snark' weighs in with this:

------------------
TVsnark said...
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with the girls getting therapy. I think it's wonderful and wish they had been getting help since the show began. However, it is none of my business. It is none of your business. It is absolutely nobody's business that 9 year old girls are getting therapy. We are adults but how about when they go to school this fall? Kids are cruel and these girls already have many strikes against them. Their classmates do not need to know that they are in therapy. They do now. HIPPA laws don't count when it's commodities we're talking about.
-------------------

First of all, roseanna anna danna, it's ... HIPAA.

Second, what a complete relief it must be to Jon & Kate to have your stamp of approval. But why the shock over reading it in a newspaper? Journalists, especially tabloid journalists, never conduct themselves according to any code of ethics. Unless of course it's protecting the identify of their unnamed, HIPAA-violating source. Where is your outrage for the Sun Times? Oh I get it. You were being sarcastic. It's "no one's business" but yet you read every possible word that is published about the Gosselins, you repeat the shit that is no one's business and you have a blog with links to all 9,519 Gosselin blogs. Yep, that must have been sarcasm.

Thirdly, who are these cruel kids who will tease the girls? I assure you that they aren't my kids. My kids are kind. My kids are non-judgemental. I can only conclude that these cruel kids must be GWOPPER kids, who are modeling the behavior of their GWOPPER parents.

Funny how that works, isn't it?