There's lots to worry about on tonite's episode of American Chopper. I'll rest easier when the show is finally over.
They say that Paul Sr and Sharla are frequently mistaken for each other so perhaps this is the one J&K episode that the GWoPpers can't help but love. We'll see.
The promos also show the kids howling, howling, howling (and I mean howing!) in laughter at some guy's ventriloquist act.
Surely all that laughing can't be healthy for such tiny little diaphragm muscles. Ut oh. I sure hope this isn't the episode that finally compels Child Protective Services to put the kids in foster homes.
:: biting my nails ::
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A Note of Thanks to Troll Hunter
Thank you, Troll Hunter. You and others have been sending me lots of terrificly good links re this whole GWoPper (for the lack of a better word) cult. Not only a time-saver but all of it is helpful insight that I'll be certain to knit into my masterplan of GWoPper humiliation soon.
It's also becoming clear that I'm more than a little late to the Great Witchhunt of our New Millenium. If this conflict were Lord of Rings, I guess I'd be an ENT.
Those were the tree people, right?
In any case, I am relieved to know from reading your links that my instincts are razor-sharp. All these GWoP women are looney-tune.
It's also becoming clear that I'm more than a little late to the Great Witchhunt of our New Millenium. If this conflict were Lord of Rings, I guess I'd be an ENT.
Those were the tree people, right?
In any case, I am relieved to know from reading your links that my instincts are razor-sharp. All these GWoP women are looney-tune.
Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged
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lindahoyt said...
I have to tell you I babysat my 2 year old niece today, she is two. She ate breakfast, lunch and snacks, WITHOUT a bib...and WITHOUT a highchair, at a regular table. She didn't get a drop on her nice "Carters" sunflower sun dress! She also knew all her colors, almost drew a square, after anouncing that she was going to draw one; knew what an "R" was and knew all her shapes and colors. She can say and identify macaroni.
6/08/2009 10:19 PM
----------------------------------
See now, here we have THE fundamental problem with passing judgment on other parents. It almost always gets ugly and just never ends well.
If you've read lindahoyt's blog (http://lindahoyt.wordpress.com/), you'd know that linda's 20-something daughter (she's in her 20's) is a drop-out, a drug addict, an ex-convict, a whore, a telemarketer ... you name it.
And so a lesser person than myself would probably be pretty quick to point out that lindahoyt's very own 20-something daughter most likely can't do ANY of those same things that the 2-year-old can do once she's elected to snort godonlyknowswhat up her nose.
But no, I am not about to call lindahoyt's own mothering skills into question. Because frankly, that blog of hers leads me to believe that 'lindahoyt' is mentally ill.
Seriously mentally ill.
This is not to say that I no longer think 'lindahoyt' is a troll. I absolutely think 'lindhoyt' is a troll. She is the worst kind of troll --- a mentally ill troll.
I'll bet my kid's last beanie baby that 'lindahoyt' is a completely manufactured persona -- an elaborate and mean-spirited parody of far rightwing conservatism -- who patiently baits the blogs with all these outrageous hypocrisies and patiently waits for some dope just like me to pick a fight with her/him.
And therein lies the mental illness. Who's got the TIME to create such an elaborate ruse ? Nobody but a total whackjob. And what's the point of it? There isn't one.
So HA! I did not fall for your little trap, lindahoyt! And not only did I not fall for your trap, I exposed you to the world as a psychotic fraud!
However.
On the off chance that you are certifiably crazy versus troll-twisted- crazy, my original point stands: Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged.
Got that, fruitcake?
lindahoyt said...
I have to tell you I babysat my 2 year old niece today, she is two. She ate breakfast, lunch and snacks, WITHOUT a bib...and WITHOUT a highchair, at a regular table. She didn't get a drop on her nice "Carters" sunflower sun dress! She also knew all her colors, almost drew a square, after anouncing that she was going to draw one; knew what an "R" was and knew all her shapes and colors. She can say and identify macaroni.
6/08/2009 10:19 PM
----------------------------------
See now, here we have THE fundamental problem with passing judgment on other parents. It almost always gets ugly and just never ends well.
If you've read lindahoyt's blog (http://lindahoyt.wordpress.com/), you'd know that linda's 20-something daughter (she's in her 20's) is a drop-out, a drug addict, an ex-convict, a whore, a telemarketer ... you name it.
And so a lesser person than myself would probably be pretty quick to point out that lindahoyt's very own 20-something daughter most likely can't do ANY of those same things that the 2-year-old can do once she's elected to snort godonlyknowswhat up her nose.
But no, I am not about to call lindahoyt's own mothering skills into question. Because frankly, that blog of hers leads me to believe that 'lindahoyt' is mentally ill.
Seriously mentally ill.
This is not to say that I no longer think 'lindahoyt' is a troll. I absolutely think 'lindhoyt' is a troll. She is the worst kind of troll --- a mentally ill troll.
I'll bet my kid's last beanie baby that 'lindahoyt' is a completely manufactured persona -- an elaborate and mean-spirited parody of far rightwing conservatism -- who patiently baits the blogs with all these outrageous hypocrisies and patiently waits for some dope just like me to pick a fight with her/him.
And therein lies the mental illness. Who's got the TIME to create such an elaborate ruse ? Nobody but a total whackjob. And what's the point of it? There isn't one.
So HA! I did not fall for your little trap, lindahoyt! And not only did I not fall for your trap, I exposed you to the world as a psychotic fraud!
However.
On the off chance that you are certifiably crazy versus troll-twisted- crazy, my original point stands: Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged.
Got that, fruitcake?
Don't Forget Everyone! Don't Delay!
You have only a very few days left to send your notes of gratitude or words of support and encouragement to Aunt Jodi and Uncle Kevin vis-a-vis the GWop moderators.
For those of you who may have been in coma this past month, Aunt Jodi and Uncle Kevin went to great lengths on the Internet and national TV to tell everyone (including the little Gosselin kids) that they're pretty sure Kate sleeps around. The GWoPpers wish to applaud this behavior by sending the Kreigers words of gratitude and support from around the world.
Why post your thank yous on the stinky GWoP blog for free when you can spend 44 cents and mail it off to unknown intermediaries who live in St Louis? It's a fantastic idea.
It's so much more personal and meaningful when you send a handwritten note. Just be certain to sign your note with your full legal name (not your blogging name) and to also include your home address and social security number. Having been lied to so many times by Jon & Kate, the GWoP moderators want to make certain that Aunt Jodi and Uncle Kevin (who are so very fragile right now) feel as though they are communicating with real people, real friends.
If you're also feeling compelled to send monetary support to Aunt Jodi and Uncle Kevin, great! But no cash please! Bank checks only. Bank checks from national chains are best. Or, you could make the check payable to GWoP and then the GWoP mods will write one big check.
Include a picture of yourself too! Certainly Aunt Jodi and Uncle Kevin will want to know what everyone looks like.
And last but not least, nothing will cheer them up more quickly than reading all about your life. Be sure to tell them about your kids, your hobbies, any upcoming vacation plans, where you keep the extra key to your house, etc. etc.
On behalf of the GWoP moderators, thank you in advance for coming together like this in what surely must be Aunt Jodi and Uncle Kevin's darkest, darkest hour.
You truly are everything that is right with the world.
You truly are the wind beneath Serena Leigh Bell's (not her real name) wings.
You truly are a bunch of dumb-ass Americans.
For those of you who may have been in coma this past month, Aunt Jodi and Uncle Kevin went to great lengths on the Internet and national TV to tell everyone (including the little Gosselin kids) that they're pretty sure Kate sleeps around. The GWoPpers wish to applaud this behavior by sending the Kreigers words of gratitude and support from around the world.
Why post your thank yous on the stinky GWoP blog for free when you can spend 44 cents and mail it off to unknown intermediaries who live in St Louis? It's a fantastic idea.
It's so much more personal and meaningful when you send a handwritten note. Just be certain to sign your note with your full legal name (not your blogging name) and to also include your home address and social security number. Having been lied to so many times by Jon & Kate, the GWoP moderators want to make certain that Aunt Jodi and Uncle Kevin (who are so very fragile right now) feel as though they are communicating with real people, real friends.
If you're also feeling compelled to send monetary support to Aunt Jodi and Uncle Kevin, great! But no cash please! Bank checks only. Bank checks from national chains are best. Or, you could make the check payable to GWoP and then the GWoP mods will write one big check.
Include a picture of yourself too! Certainly Aunt Jodi and Uncle Kevin will want to know what everyone looks like.
And last but not least, nothing will cheer them up more quickly than reading all about your life. Be sure to tell them about your kids, your hobbies, any upcoming vacation plans, where you keep the extra key to your house, etc. etc.
On behalf of the GWoP moderators, thank you in advance for coming together like this in what surely must be Aunt Jodi and Uncle Kevin's darkest, darkest hour.
You truly are everything that is right with the world.
You truly are the wind beneath Serena Leigh Bell's (not her real name) wings.
You truly are a bunch of dumb-ass Americans.
BAM! WHAT A FUN SHOW!
To compensate for the 2 or 3 GWoPpers who didn't watch last night's episode, I made certain we tuned every TV in the house to TLC. And then to be extra certain that our viewership wouldn't somehow be discounted, I made each one of us watch the show on a different TV. Even the dog and cat watched on the basement TV ( or at least they said they did.)
Here's my recap of the episode in bullet points:
1. Kids (all 8) still cuter than buttons and funnier than heck. Try as I might, I still can't find a hint of anything that compels me to move for legal guardianship.
2. I especially loved the shots of the kids with their lunchmeat masks and then the two older girls jumping out of the way to reveal one of the littler ones shouting "BAM!" Very ka-ewt!
3. Jon clearly adores those kids and they adore him. The show never fails to show at least one moment where he and at least one of the kids are connecting in a simple, sweet way. I've always felt that Jon is the perfect balance and calm to Kate's high energy. There is a quiet wisdom in Jon that is very powerful. I'm sure they'll remain a good mommy and daddy team --married, separated or divorced.
4. The kitchen is to die for! So nice and big. Totally good kitchen pick, Jon & Kate.
5. Emeril is every bit as easy-going, personable and genuine as you saw him on the show. I enjoyed watching him interact with the family. I'm certain that dinner was yummy.
6. Kate completely fails to irritate me once again. Yeah, I get where some folks thinks she's brash. I get where some people may think she's a bit of a drama/comedy queen. Yadda yadda yadda. Yeah, I know the personality type. It's Type A.
There's not a darn thing wrong with Type A personalities, especially in business. They're a lively bunch who keep things moving.
Plus, I know how to deal with all the different personality types because unlike the GWoPpers my parents TAUGHT ME HOW TO GET ALONG WITH PEOPLE and more importantly, how to leverage different personality types (and people) to my advantage!!
So put that in your pipe and smoke it ... all you stupid, no-high heel wearing GWoPpers!
And by "stupid", of course, I mean dumb, banal and insipid.
Here's my recap of the episode in bullet points:
1. Kids (all 8) still cuter than buttons and funnier than heck. Try as I might, I still can't find a hint of anything that compels me to move for legal guardianship.
2. I especially loved the shots of the kids with their lunchmeat masks and then the two older girls jumping out of the way to reveal one of the littler ones shouting "BAM!" Very ka-ewt!
3. Jon clearly adores those kids and they adore him. The show never fails to show at least one moment where he and at least one of the kids are connecting in a simple, sweet way. I've always felt that Jon is the perfect balance and calm to Kate's high energy. There is a quiet wisdom in Jon that is very powerful. I'm sure they'll remain a good mommy and daddy team --married, separated or divorced.
4. The kitchen is to die for! So nice and big. Totally good kitchen pick, Jon & Kate.
5. Emeril is every bit as easy-going, personable and genuine as you saw him on the show. I enjoyed watching him interact with the family. I'm certain that dinner was yummy.
6. Kate completely fails to irritate me once again. Yeah, I get where some folks thinks she's brash. I get where some people may think she's a bit of a drama/comedy queen. Yadda yadda yadda. Yeah, I know the personality type. It's Type A.
There's not a darn thing wrong with Type A personalities, especially in business. They're a lively bunch who keep things moving.
Plus, I know how to deal with all the different personality types because unlike the GWoPpers my parents TAUGHT ME HOW TO GET ALONG WITH PEOPLE and more importantly, how to leverage different personality types (and people) to my advantage!!
So put that in your pipe and smoke it ... all you stupid, no-high heel wearing GWoPpers!
And by "stupid", of course, I mean dumb, banal and insipid.
I am Looking Forward to Tonite's 100th Episode, aren't you?
For a little something new and different, I hear Emeril Lagasse will be on ... I know first hand that he's a wonderful chef!
Great idea, TLC!
And of course, I will also be trying to guess what all the GWoPpers will rag about this time ... after they tune into the show (accidentally, snicker) and then find that they're unable to turn the channel again.
"Jebus, what the hell are you bitching about now?" is a little GWoPper game that my husband and I like to play when we watch the show.
Last week, I thought for sure the GWoPpers would harp endlessly about the bit lip. But nope. Of the 4,344 things that Jon & Kate did wrong in that half hour, here are the ones I remember reading about most often:
1) Jon took too damn long to swing set up.
2) Jon & Kate don't call each other enough when Kate travels.
3) none of the kids' coats were zipped and it was cold out
4) Kate-the-Witch made Maddy get a pedicure even though Mady once said she didn't like them.
5) They let the kids slide down the slide even after the dogs go down it on their butts.
6) Jon walks in front of his house too much
7) Kate would be able to remember whether the toilet lid was broken if she was home more often
Great idea, TLC!
And of course, I will also be trying to guess what all the GWoPpers will rag about this time ... after they tune into the show (accidentally, snicker) and then find that they're unable to turn the channel again.
"Jebus, what the hell are you bitching about now?" is a little GWoPper game that my husband and I like to play when we watch the show.
Last week, I thought for sure the GWoPpers would harp endlessly about the bit lip. But nope. Of the 4,344 things that Jon & Kate did wrong in that half hour, here are the ones I remember reading about most often:
1) Jon took too damn long to swing set up.
2) Jon & Kate don't call each other enough when Kate travels.
3) none of the kids' coats were zipped and it was cold out
4) Kate-the-Witch made Maddy get a pedicure even though Mady once said she didn't like them.
5) They let the kids slide down the slide even after the dogs go down it on their butts.
6) Jon walks in front of his house too much
7) Kate would be able to remember whether the toilet lid was broken if she was home more often
How the Internet Works
Here's a rare post in which I try to be helpful to the GWoPpers and their fervid campaign to stop the damnable exploitation of those Gosselins kids.
I will do this by explaining how the Internet and tabloid journalism works.
Dear GWoPpers,
When you click those links to justjared.com, tmz.com and whatever other godforsaken sites you're accidentally (snicker) looking at 24x7, the proprietors of those sites earn money. Lots of it.
Yes, I do realize that you're only visiting the site so that you can see Kate in her bikini. But look more closely and you'll notice the site's many, many advertisements. Those site sponsors pay for space on the site and they pay more for each hit.
Your unnatural verve for everything Jon & Kate compels the site to pay the papparazi for more pictures of the Gosselin family ... so that you'll continue to visit the site ... and so that the advertisers will continue to pay (more) for advertising.
You see how that works?
I don't think so because you're allegedly against the exploitation of the kids. You want everyone to STOP making money of those kids, right? This is the very reason why the GWoP blog doesn't have any ads (yet).
Sometimes I get confused when I read all your posts with their links to justjared etc. I start wondering if its just Jon & Kate who aren't supposed to be making money off the kids.
I hope this lesson in Internet profiteering has been helpful to you.
I won't sink so low as to suspect that y'all would ever buy copies of the National Enquirer, the Star, Us Weekly, People, etc. etc. Cause if you were accidentally buying tabloids, you'd not only be padding the coffers of the very folks who are helping to exploit the children but that money would also represent food, clothing, healthcare and educational opportunities not spent on your own kids.
Tsk tsk.
Don't you worry too much though, it won't be much longer before we non- GWoPpers (sheeple) will be helping to pay for your family's health care. If all goes well on that front, you may not have to cancel your Internet access or People subscriptions afterall. And all the time you spend gawking at Jon & Kate will continue to be time well spent.
Best regards,
iwhyawli
I will do this by explaining how the Internet and tabloid journalism works.
Dear GWoPpers,
When you click those links to justjared.com, tmz.com and whatever other godforsaken sites you're accidentally (snicker) looking at 24x7, the proprietors of those sites earn money. Lots of it.
Yes, I do realize that you're only visiting the site so that you can see Kate in her bikini. But look more closely and you'll notice the site's many, many advertisements. Those site sponsors pay for space on the site and they pay more for each hit.
Your unnatural verve for everything Jon & Kate compels the site to pay the papparazi for more pictures of the Gosselin family ... so that you'll continue to visit the site ... and so that the advertisers will continue to pay (more) for advertising.
You see how that works?
I don't think so because you're allegedly against the exploitation of the kids. You want everyone to STOP making money of those kids, right? This is the very reason why the GWoP blog doesn't have any ads (yet).
Sometimes I get confused when I read all your posts with their links to justjared etc. I start wondering if its just Jon & Kate who aren't supposed to be making money off the kids.
I hope this lesson in Internet profiteering has been helpful to you.
I won't sink so low as to suspect that y'all would ever buy copies of the National Enquirer, the Star, Us Weekly, People, etc. etc. Cause if you were accidentally buying tabloids, you'd not only be padding the coffers of the very folks who are helping to exploit the children but that money would also represent food, clothing, healthcare and educational opportunities not spent on your own kids.
Tsk tsk.
Don't you worry too much though, it won't be much longer before we non- GWoPpers (sheeple) will be helping to pay for your family's health care. If all goes well on that front, you may not have to cancel your Internet access or People subscriptions afterall. And all the time you spend gawking at Jon & Kate will continue to be time well spent.
Best regards,
iwhyawli
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